Grandmother who never helps us

[SilverDoublet]

So, just at the end of my tether again with my mother and feeling really hurt. She lives a 5 minute drive away but literally never helps me at all with my kids. We have no other family support other than her as my partner is not from here. As it is, I only ask her to help me out extremely occasionally, like maybe every 6 months or so if something was clashing for the kids. She never offers any help or invites my kids over or cones to visit. She might babysit 4 evenings per year max, and I can never count on it in case she changes her mind last minute, so can't book anything. My kids are lovely, well behaved, school age kids so that's not the problem. Yet she has no problem at all, babysitting or cat sitting for either of my siblings, both of whom are already getting help from their inlaws about once or twice a week. AIBU to feel really hurt about this? I feel like she's just doing it to look good in front of the other in laws, but doesn't care about me cos I have no inlaws anywhere nearby.

But maybe she wants a life instead of being used as unpaid childcare? no matter whose children

I am always team "women who don't turn themselves into slaves because other people tell them to". Women have a right to do whatever the hell they themselves choose with their own time, and I am really very tired of the entitlement of so many when it comes to their expectations regarding their own children and other people's precious irreplaceable time.

But finding out OP has a nanny and complained about her slipper wearing really is the icing on the zero sympathy cake 😂

Yes my parents do indeed have a very complicated relationship which is easier not to go into here. It has caused a lot of pain. Thanks for your concern.

That wasn’t the question

Aha, the plot thickens 😇

No way 🤣🤣🤣I recall that one not too long ago

So would you rather just not see your grandchildren? As I said, I.m not taking advantage of my mother's time at all. My siblings possibly are, and it's for their own benefit, so they can go on holidays etc. I rarely ask for help, only in rare circumstances where we are really stuck.

Maybe your kids are a nightmare hence why

Apples and trees (OP and her kids eg) do come to mind :)

They really aren't. They work hard in school, are polite and well rounded kids.

They often are at school, it’s at home when they aren’t
how many do you have and what age group ?

How many kids do you have?

It's odd that she looks after your siblings dc and not yours. Have you asked her about this?

Sorry OP, I think we all know why your mother is not looking after your children often and why she has only done it when they are all in bed. It is the question you haven’t answered. You have 3, 4 or 5 children.

Five, according to an earlier thread people have mentioned. And her parents live 5 minutes away.

Except now they've split up which has caused her immense grief and she has a different number of children. Maybe she's just adopted some or had more?

She also has a ten hour a week nanny who wears her slippers, the monster. OPs life is so difficult, she's a courageous battler and an inspiration to us all 😇

I know in an earlier thread you declared 5DC under 10, which you now deny?? Why aren't you saying how many and how old the little angels are?

🤣🤣🤣

One thread said 5 kids, the rest said 4. 😬

My in laws never helped out, never had the kids, never even suggested they visit. My own parents were well into their 70s when I had kids but did the odd evening, though they lived abroad half the year anyway.
It is what it is, and maybe she feels she’s busy enough looking after her other grandkids.

I didn't say I had 5. I was asking for a close friend in a newly difficult situation who I want to be able support somehow.

Eh??? Now I’m confused wtf 🤪

You never know... Certainly I'd have plenty to write a book on.

See below

How many kids do you have OP? @SilverDoublet