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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not replacing the lost items we weren’t told were expensive

227 replies

Robinisrosie · 16/12/2025 19:20

Yesterday I provided some babysitting for my nephews children. His daughters are 2 and 4 and they had a family funeral to attend but didn’t feel comfortable taking the children. I was more than happy to babysit. The 4 year olds school is already broken up for Christmas and the 2 year old doesn’t normally do nursery on a Monday.

We had a lovely day, all was well and when my nephew picked them up he asked where the youngest’s hat and scarf had gone. I couldn’t find them immediately and realised we may have either left them at soft play or in a cafe. He said it was fine, I offered to call the soft play and cafe today to see if they had been handed in.

I called both today and the soft play said they couldn’t be sure and we would have to go and check. I am working this week so I can’t but I told him the soft play etc. and suggested if they are important they can check in, otherwise I’ll go at the weekend. I’ve now received messages stating that they were expensive designer items and while they don’t mind if they are lost they would have appreciated me doing a better job at looking after the items. I’ve now spoken to my sister and she has informed me that the hat alone cost 3 figures and was from Burberry! Who the heck spends that on a hat for a 2 year old?
I appreciate wealth wise we are on very different levels, my nephew and his wife are incredibly well off and she comes from an incredibly well to do family, but surely if you are sending an item worth that much you might want to mention it?
My sister thinks I should pay to replace it but I think that’s bonkers! I’ll happily buy a replacement at a normal price if it isn’t there when I go to check at the weekend but I cannot believe they actually expect me to cough up over £200 for a hat and scarf for a 2 year old!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 16/12/2025 19:22

I'd tell them to fuck off

Mycatsasuperstar · 16/12/2025 19:26

Choices have consequences. If you choose to dress your kids in super expensive stuff knowing the risks then suffer the consequence. So yeah tell them to piss off

Umy15r03lcha1 · 16/12/2025 19:28

What 2 year old never loses an item of clothing? Idiots!

MrsZiggywinkle · 16/12/2025 19:29

Yikes!

It’s a good job you charge £100 per hour for babysitting.

First and last time….. First and last time….

PluckyChancer · 16/12/2025 19:30

Cheeky Fuckers! Buy them a replacement set from Primark.

Disturbedisanunderstatement · 16/12/2025 19:31

Ha ha this reminds me of when my mum took my daughter out and lost her hat.
Me: aww that’s a shame it was an expensive one
mum: how much was it then?
me: 25 quid
mum: what? You’re kidding. You spent that much on a toddler’s hat?! you should have told me I’d have made her leave it at home, no way I’m taking a toddler out in a 25 quid hat!

HoskinsChoice · 16/12/2025 19:31

I can see it from both sides. I think it's unfair to expect you to pay but also think you should have been more careful. You're the adult - you should have checked. Apart from losing the stuff was the child not underdressed on the way back if you'd lost his/her warm stuff?

chickenfucker · 16/12/2025 19:33

They can afford to replace it then

Notellinganyone · 16/12/2025 19:33

Ridiculous! Very rude of them also - you were doing them a favour. I would absolutely not replace and point out its daft to send toddler out in designer gear.

TheatricalLife · 16/12/2025 19:33

The absolute nerve of patronisingly telling the people who have babysat your children that they should have done a better job 😂 they obviously DO mind as they sent a message about it. If they didn't it wouldn't have been mentioned again in a text message.
I understand it's annoying to lose items, but who the fuck puts a toddler in a scarf and hat worth hundreds for a day out with family at a soft play?! I'd be happy to ask around again at the locations I'd been at to see if they'd been handed in, but not a chance I'd pay to replace them.

Original poster
Robinisrosie · 16/12/2025 19:34

HoskinsChoice · 16/12/2025 19:31

I can see it from both sides. I think it's unfair to expect you to pay but also think you should have been more careful. You're the adult - you should have checked. Apart from losing the stuff was the child not underdressed on the way back if you'd lost his/her warm stuff?

It wasn’t very cold on the way back, we took the bus and I could have sworn it was in her little backpack! She hardly kept it on, on the way there anyway so I didn’t immediately panic that she didn’t have it.

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 16/12/2025 19:34

Tell him you were too busy looking after the more valuable items....the children !!!!

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 16/12/2025 19:34

I would not be buying them any replacements - what's the point of buying them stuff they won't wear. And, it is beyond ridiculous to spend that kind of money on accessories for a two year old. Maybe next time they can spend that money on a babysitter!

craigth162 · 16/12/2025 19:37

I used to be head of pta at sons school. We had a disco for p1-3 and after it a mum came storming in saying her son has lost his jacket at it. We looked and couldn't find it. She was livid as it cost £300. Eh more fool her!. Who sends a 5 year old to a school disco in a £300 jacket.

Heronwatcher · 16/12/2025 19:37

Tell them your babysitting rates for 2 kids are £20 per hour, lunch for the kids and you was £30 and your petrol was £15, so you’re prepared to set the two off…

Never babysit again.

Givemebackmygirlhood · 16/12/2025 19:40

They are absolutely in the wrong and honestly have no class. I’m sorry they have treated you this way. You have done nothing wrong.

motherboredd · 16/12/2025 19:40

First answer got it exactly right!

InSpainTheRain · 16/12/2025 19:40

Wow! They should be very grateful you helped them out - that's a lot of work and looking after children can mean you (and they) lose things as you are concentrating on the kids not on their hats or whatever.

I absolutely would not be replacing them. I'd want to tell them to fuck off, what I'd probably do is say that I was babysitting as a favour it was an accident and sorry but I can't afford that sort of money. Either that or ideas from PP saying you'll waive your baby sitting fee are good! Also - never, ever do anything for them again. Ungrateful and petty.

Iloveacurry · 16/12/2025 19:42

How ridiculous to dress a child in such expensive items! Sod them. And never babysit for them again.

UserNom · 16/12/2025 19:43

Yeah, fuck that shit. Let them pay for a childminder next time.

PeloMom · 16/12/2025 19:43

I wouldn’t sweat it. And don’t buy a replacement- they’re particular about what they want their kids in and will buy them what they want.
i used to get very pricey winter gear too for my toddler but wouldn’t send him to nursery etc in it. I wanted it looked after/ not lost and only put it on when we were out together, the rest of the time he wore normally priced items.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 16/12/2025 19:47

Just goes through show, you can’t buy common sense
Even if you ARE filthy rich!

Perhaps they’ll be a bit more sensible in their clothing choices moving forwards

Miyagi99 · 16/12/2025 19:52

As always, first poster has it.

Anyahyacinth · 16/12/2025 19:52

Aww no, please don't replace them..hat sewn to coat with a ribbon or whatever.(their fault for not securing them)..you did them a kind favour they are APPALLING to make an issue of mislaid items.
Sorry OP you deserved a gift for the favour not this 💐💐💐