Not replacing the lost items we weren’t told were expensive

[Robinisrosie]

Yesterday I provided some babysitting for my nephews children. His daughters are 2 and 4 and they had a family funeral to attend but didn’t feel comfortable taking the children. I was more than happy to babysit. The 4 year olds school is already broken up for Christmas and the 2 year old doesn’t normally do nursery on a Monday.

We had a lovely day, all was well and when my nephew picked them up he asked where the youngest’s hat and scarf had gone. I couldn’t find them immediately and realised we may have either left them at soft play or in a cafe. He said it was fine, I offered to call the soft play and cafe today to see if they had been handed in.

I called both today and the soft play said they couldn’t be sure and we would have to go and check. I am working this week so I can’t but I told him the soft play etc. and suggested if they are important they can check in, otherwise I’ll go at the weekend. I’ve now received messages stating that they were expensive designer items and while they don’t mind if they are lost they would have appreciated me doing a better job at looking after the items. I’ve now spoken to my sister and she has informed me that the hat alone cost 3 figures and was from Burberry! Who the heck spends that on a hat for a 2 year old?
I appreciate wealth wise we are on very different levels, my nephew and his wife are incredibly well off and she comes from an incredibly well to do family, but surely if you are sending an item worth that much you might want to mention it?
My sister thinks I should pay to replace it but I think that’s bonkers! I’ll happily buy a replacement at a normal price if it isn’t there when I go to check at the weekend but I cannot believe they actually expect me to cough up over £200 for a hat and scarf for a 2 year old!

AIBU?

It won’t be at the soft play or the cafe, if it wasn’t stolen it was found and kept, probably found on your table while you were at soft play with your attention on the child.

Look at the favour you did for them and they want you to spend your money on ridiculously expensive childrens items that are not your responsibility.

It's unfortunate their child left said items behind, but they're being very unreasonable about it.

Oh my hat! The level of entitlement on this thread.

The nephew had free, last minute babysitting. Children returned safe and sound. Op is probably out of the mother stage herself so the change in pace quite a sharp adjustment. Yet! People taking the position the Op ‘owed’ a level of accountability consistent with an employer/ employee contact. To have a trusted free babysitter who returns your tiny children safe and sound is a privilege, not entitlement.

As an pp suggested ‘no good deed goes unpunished.’

Thank heavens op you don’t need to do that again.

This ^!

The parents need to understand that any clothing bought for a 2 year old has to be treated as potentially disposable

God love 'em 🙄

Never babysitting again is an available option without handing over any money. I wouldn't be doing any further favours for someone so rude and entitled.

I wouldn't expect a 4 & 2 year old to be responsible for their belongings to be honest so I'd be a bit frustrated you didn't check they had everything before you left. The cost of the hat and scarf is irrelevant really.

People who lose things that belong to others are incredibly annoying..........especially if they don't even realise they have gone missing. I am not surprised they are annoyed. A glove would be forgiveable, a hat and scarf less so.

Never ever ever babysit for them again

arseholes

Crazy parents!!

So replacing it was suggested by your sister who is the grandmother of the child with the lost item, not the child’s parents?

As the 4 year olds school has broken up already I’m guessing it’s a private school. They can afford it, if your sister is that bothered she can replace it.

2yo are always supervised and with an adult so if they lose something then it is the adults fault.
Yeah right.

I remember my friend's 2 year old taking off his shoe and throwing it in the river.

Fair enough. I would pay it so that I had the absolute moral high ground, and then never babysit again.

I’m conflicted. It’s no-one’s business how much someone spends on clothes.

But I also feel you were very blasé with their possessions, however much they cost.

Your sister sounds like she could be stirring 🥄

don’t pay it any mind

it’s ok for them to be peeves in private. Your sister should not have shared that with you

You did them a big favor and now your sister wants you to pay for the privilege. I don't think so. I would not hand over any money and also would never babysit for them again. You can't afford it!

This

Lol, yep. I used to work at a school and the amount of items I would try to return to the kids out of pity for their poor parents! I once found a jockstrap (or cup or whatever you call it) a kid had somehow lost 😃 in one of the play areas. Thing is they were school approved and expensive, so I lifted it with one pinky by the strap and tracked down the owner.

Kids of all ages are absolutely notorious for leaving stuff everywhere and when you are doing someone the enormous favour of babysitting and they are not your children you really cannot be blamed for the child losing their things.

Saying that, I'd pay it to shut them up and never, ever babysit again. (And I do mean absolutely never).

Our son, about this age, used to divest himself of padder type shoes, socks hats, etc.

Mostly we caught them, occasionally we lost them.

Something similar happened to me 15 years ago tbh - though to be fair it was a bowling and pizza birthday party at which parents were free to drop their kids off - a 10 year old party guest (no special needs) managed to leave his jumper behind at the bowling alley (had his coat on when leaving and must have removed the jumper whilst bowling and dropped it on the floor, or left it in the boy's toilet, or indeed not had it in the first place... as no forgotten items were visible on the general quick check before shepherding children from lane via toilet visits to car park). His father picked him up from bowling and didn't ask whether he had his jumper.

His mum phoned me asking whether I had it - which I didn't but did offer to phone the bowling alley to check so they could go back for it if it turned up - and on hearing that she asked whether I needed a day to go back and look for it or was going to reimburse her for it! It was an ordinary price at least - I don't remember it being expensive nor cheap... She didn't agree that her husband could go back and look as he collected the child without it, and seemed surprised when I said a ten year old was responsible for his own jumper IMO (no additional needs).

Yeah. Tell them.to go fuck themselves.

Sorry I feel like I should clarify.
My nephew and his wife haven’t asked me to replace it, my sister nephews mum has.
When I messaged nephew letting him know I’d called the soft play etc. his reply was “its fine, was quite pricey though so would have been good not to lose it, anyway thanks again”
I then spoke to my sister who’s informed me they are peeved as this particular hat is no longer for sale and it cost a lot of money.

tell the to look on vinted

I’d happily look after a 2 and 4 year old but if someone asked me to look after their hundreds of pounds worth accessories at the same time (with the children expected to wear them in bus/softplay scenarios) I’d decline as that’s beyond my capabilities.

No good deed goes unpunished @Robinisrosie

I wouldn't replace this its not a reasonable request and I think dignified silence is the way...

The scarf and hat are so inconsequential (ie thry are so rich £200 is a meaningless amount) they didnt even bother to mention it.

You arent professional child care, you did them a favour....

Let them be peeved...And next time they need childcare tell them they can hire a Norland nanny at £80 an hour or whatever it costs...

If the parents want to spend £200 on a toddler's hat and scarf, that's up to them. But when they leave toddler wearing said items in your care - of course they should warn you. You had no idea what financial responsibility you were taking on. Why would you - you were doing what any good-hearted rellie would do and just taking care of their little ones for the day.

Have they no sense? The poor kid's a walking security risk. I'd refuse to look after a child dressed so stupidly impractically - they might as well be draped in gold jewellery.

(Have the parents thought of taking out insurance? Perhaps they could draw up a contract for anyone daft enough to take on the care of their prize assets children?!)

Ok so it's your sister (your nephew's mum) that's doing their dirty work and badgering you to cough up. I'd be dismayed by the lot of them. Their values seem to begin and end with what's on a price tag.

Agree with @Winter2020, dignified silence is the only response. Sad situation though.