Not replacing the lost items we weren’t told were expensive

[Robinisrosie]

Yesterday I provided some babysitting for my nephews children. His daughters are 2 and 4 and they had a family funeral to attend but didn’t feel comfortable taking the children. I was more than happy to babysit. The 4 year olds school is already broken up for Christmas and the 2 year old doesn’t normally do nursery on a Monday.

We had a lovely day, all was well and when my nephew picked them up he asked where the youngest’s hat and scarf had gone. I couldn’t find them immediately and realised we may have either left them at soft play or in a cafe. He said it was fine, I offered to call the soft play and cafe today to see if they had been handed in.

I called both today and the soft play said they couldn’t be sure and we would have to go and check. I am working this week so I can’t but I told him the soft play etc. and suggested if they are important they can check in, otherwise I’ll go at the weekend. I’ve now received messages stating that they were expensive designer items and while they don’t mind if they are lost they would have appreciated me doing a better job at looking after the items. I’ve now spoken to my sister and she has informed me that the hat alone cost 3 figures and was from Burberry! Who the heck spends that on a hat for a 2 year old?
I appreciate wealth wise we are on very different levels, my nephew and his wife are incredibly well off and she comes from an incredibly well to do family, but surely if you are sending an item worth that much you might want to mention it?
My sister thinks I should pay to replace it but I think that’s bonkers! I’ll happily buy a replacement at a normal price if it isn’t there when I go to check at the weekend but I cannot believe they actually expect me to cough up over £200 for a hat and scarf for a 2 year old!

AIBU?

@Vodka1 I don't get why people are saying to charge them for babysitting, then they'll be out of pocket twice over.

You don’t? I’d say it’s very obvious. They’ve been lucky enough to have free babysitting and have then taken the piss. It’s not difficult to work out.

Tiny little tots lose hats and scarves and mittens and shoes and socks and all kinds of stuff, absolutely all the time. If you're foolish enough to buy designer clothes for your toddler, hey that's on you.
They'll outgrow it before they do anything else, unless of course they lose it first!

You provided free last minute babysitting, so, instead of bitching about it they should be thanking you.

I agree, it's really annoying to have someone cover for you (whether it be house sitting, pet sitting, child sitting etc) and some damage is done (or in this case the damage being a lost item) But that's part of the cost of having someone else do something for you.

Honestly, I'd feel frustrated that you left the items. A 2 year old isn't capable of taking responsibility for their hat and scarf, so I'd expect the adult in charge to do so.

Yeah and I wouldn't be babysitting the kids again.

The suggestion is that she tells them that she has provided them with £200 worth of childcare which cancels out the cost of hating and scarf.

Mist people have made this connection I think.

I would have been frustrated that you had lost them (kids that age are not responsable) but I wouldn't* *have said anything because shit happens and you were kindly doing them a favour. They sound crazy to be buying so expensive things in the first place.

Replace the items, small price to pay to never, ever, ever babysit again.

More fool them for buying ridiculously expensive designer items for a small child! I wouldn't be replacing them nor would I babysit for them again! Bloody cheek 🙄

Tell your sister if she can't afford to lose it, she can't afford to buy it for a 2 year old.

There’s a strong possibility they could’ve been stolen too. OP leaves them on a chair to deal with x,y,z and someone sees a pricey item they can flog on vinted for an easy £75

I’d remind them I was doing them a favour!! You can’t do anything decent without it being thrown in your face these days.

£100s on a child’s hat is sickening.

I'm reading most of these replies and thinking 'eh?'

Sending a child to school wearing expensive items and sending them to soft play with their grandparent are 2 totally different things.

Why can't a grown adult look after a hat and scarf without losing them? It's not rocket science. If they walked off and left them at the table they were sat at, this suggests carelessness and that they regularly leave stuff behind without noticing.

This would frustrate the hell out of me and I would be annoyed too

U lost it, u replace it. Doesn’t matter about money it’s basic manners. U were the responsible adult, u didn’t look after their items, u should replace them.

if you think 200 quid for a toddler's hat is a "small price to pay" you are the child's mother and i claim my five pounds.

It is insane. And it is unfortunate, but it is not on OP.

They haven’t actually asked you to replace the items but request that you be more mindful next time. Fair enough.

It is a small price to pay for never, ever babysitting again.

By misquoting you have made your response irrelevant I'm afraid.

Did you know she is an aunt who stepped in to help them so they didn’t have to take kids to a funeral

like others have said - she was concentrating on the precious things. -the actual kids!

accidents happen and she was doing them a favour

Sorry I think losing a hat and scarf for one afternoon of babysitting is a bit shit actually.

tell them you can’t afford to replace them.

it’s cold and you didn’t even notice one of them wasn’t wrapped up properly

But it's the principle....

If they actually have enough money to spend that much on a childs hat then they have enough money to not think twice about losing said hat.

Chancers.

Were their nanny and housekeeping staff also at the funeral?

Sorry I feel like I should clarify.
My nephew and his wife haven’t asked me to replace it, my sister nephews mum has.

When I messaged nephew letting him know I’d called the soft play etc. his reply was “its fine, was quite pricey though so would have been good not to lose it, anyway thanks again”

I then spoke to my sister who’s informed me they are peeved as this particular hat is no longer for sale and it cost a lot of money.

They haven’t actually asked you to replace them. Just asked if you could take more notice? Which is more than fair.

But then on the other hand, some kid arrived home in a jacket that his/her parents must have pretty quickly realised wasn’t theirs. Why wasn’t the jacket returned? Is it really ‘finders keepers’. How blimmen sad.

But they haven't asked for the money back?

Her sister suggested it. But her nephew said it's fine?

You can blink and the 2 year old has pulled them off and dropped them while in the pram. My niece and nephew are this age and regularly lose hats and even shoes when in their pram.