Page 32 | Son dumped by gf -update

OneGreenPoster · 2025-12-16T17:06:45+00:00

Some posters said I should update with what happened, That thread is now full. Things have escalated a bit and it looks like he'll have to move a lot sooner. Not much else to say on the matter. I didn't think the last thread would get so much interest, thanks for all the advice though

pinkyredrose · 18/12/2025 21:17

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 21:10

Yea, like nobody every tried to convince the ex to come back. He only did it for one day based on OP's posts, not the end of the world. Plenty of women here are so hard core on this, but I'm sure all of you already tried to beg an ex not to break up or at least, asked him to talk!

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Thing is they already have talked, he wasn't interested in the future that she envisioned for herself so she's now freed herself to find someone who does share that vision.

pinkyredrose · 18/12/2025 21:18

He's not a robot who just accepts whatever decision is forced on him

Anyone who's partner has finished with them has a decision 'forced' on them and yes they do have to accept it whether they want to or not.

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 18/12/2025 21:19

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 21:10

Yea, like nobody every tried to convince the ex to come back. He only did it for one day based on OP's posts, not the end of the world. Plenty of women here are so hard core on this, but I'm sure all of you already tried to beg an ex not to break up or at least, asked him to talk!

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Where are you getting 'one day' from? OP doesn't say that anywhere.

She does say 'my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.' so it could have been over a period of days for all anyone here knows. Even if it was just the one day, it was too much. Text once and say your piece and add you'd like to talk face to face at some point, then leave it alone and accept a reply of 'no' with some grace. Apart from it being harassment to keep pestering your ex to take you back, have some bloody self respect.

He could have given her some space and tried to talk to her once more when she came home, but instead he bombarded her with calls and texts when she had taken herself off for a short break with her friends. That is harassment.

It's not ok for men to keep pestering women trying to wear them down, it's coercive and 'due to the consequences of his own actions this man is sad' is not an excuse. No means no!

MeTooOverHere · 18/12/2025 21:22

LessOfThis · 17/12/2025 14:17

Suspect it’s not just this incident. We’re just hearing about one incident. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who says the things I care about are “silly.” She’s quite smart to finish with him straight off rather than dragging it out.

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Agree. He "was blindsided" 😏

ByKindOpalPoet · 18/12/2025 21:23

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 20:53

You have very fertile imagination and lack of reading comprehension. I didn't talk about endlessly calling and texting for weeks. I meant asking for another chance, asking for clarifications, etc. PLENTY OF PEOPLE DO THAT!
I also said that the young man should have controlled himself for the sake of his OWN self-respect and that is what I teach my boys.
I bet when your exes broke up with you, you didn't just dissapeared into the atmosphere. What a hypocrite!
I pity your kids if you even have any for having such a judgemental mother and raising them the same.

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my reading comprehension is just fine thanks,
i did actually, I accepted it and moved on, didn’t harass them. so no I’m not a hypocrite at all.

I’m not raising my child to be judgemental actually, the opposite, raising them to stand up for themselves and not pander to man and their mother.

I’ve clearly touched a nerve with you. Shame i pity your boys. Sadly raising them to harass women for ‘clarification’ as if it’s over isn’t enough

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 21:31

This reply has been deleted

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pollyglot · 18/12/2025 21:47

You definetely have reading comprehension because I said that I'm raising my boys to respect themselves and not to pander to any woman (in a healthy relationship nobody panders to anybody, but wouldn't know that). If the woman breaks up, there will be better one, no need to run after her. But plenty of women run after men actually and pester them waaaaaay longer after breakup, just read the stepparents group! I feel pity for your daughter for having a mother with 0 self-awareness who instead of disagreeing politely with someone, tried to dismiss them by using their children.

Ooooh...how does one get to "have reading comprehension"?

This post is beyond belief, actually. Such gross generalisations. Such uncalled-for ad hominem attacks.

ByKindOpalPoet · 18/12/2025 21:57

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So my reading comprehension is fine then? Fab glad you agree that my reading comprehension is okay.

you tried to use mine! my original statement was generic and not once did it say that it was about your sons. but you reacted so strongly as clearly it has struck a nerve but you don’t want to admit that and that’s fine. I don’t pander to anyone love and neither does my husband as we both have healthy happy relationship.

I have more self awareness than you do,

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2025 22:17

MeTooOverHere · 18/12/2025 20:59

Second post on first thread just says "Should obviously say he hasn't proposed".
(Well of course he hasn't - if he had we wouldn't be here would we.)
Maybe the OP meant to type "Headline should obviously say HE hasn't proposed"

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Yes. I thought that was obvious.

Onleemoi · 18/12/2025 22:24

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2025 22:17

Yes. I thought that was obvious.

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Me too

Illegally18 · 18/12/2025 22:50

JHound · 18/12/2025 00:25

Why is it obvious?

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good question!

The13thFairy · 19/12/2025 00:18

Saladbrains · 16/12/2025 20:13

I’m team son.

He’s completely allowed to feel the way he felt when she asked him if he wanted to marry her.

He felt the gf putting pressure on him and he sounds like he did not want to feel under pressure.

If the genders were reversed no-one would support a man applying pressure to a woman to get married.

The many posters supporting team gf because she knows what she wants are prime hypocrites.

If the gf wanted marriage she could have:
a) started the conversation a second and a third time.
b) proposed an engagement to him
c) proposed marriage to him.

It sounds like the gf stewed on one conversation and without a series of conversations or distress flares she went ahead and ended everything giving him very little notice.

That’s not marriage and partnership material behaviour. That’s not kindness in action.
And that certainly was not love in action.
The now ex-gf had only her needs in mind and clearly didn’t care about his feelings/wants and needs.

The conversation could have been the starting point of a beautiful dialogue of understanding each other’s needs, triggers, desires and vulnerabilities.

But no, the gf had to pull the trigger.

There’s another man somewhere, and she’s interested, I guarantee it.

The 30 year old son is well away from such petulant and childish behaviour.

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Thank you, random man.

ellyeth · 19/12/2025 01:48

I think at the age of 27 and after 3 years of dating, your son's girlfriend wanted to know where she stood in terms of getting married - was this a serious relationship of just a stop gap for him in case someone more interesting came along? He refused to take her question seriously or give her any indication of when they might expect to get married. And he was living in her flat! No wonder she decided to end it.

Nevernonono · 19/12/2025 02:45

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 21:10

Yea, like nobody every tried to convince the ex to come back. He only did it for one day based on OP's posts, not the end of the world. Plenty of women here are so hard core on this, but I'm sure all of you already tried to beg an ex not to break up or at least, asked him to talk!

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The OPs original post said out of the blue on Saturday (13th), then on the 16th he got blocked. This is three days later.

Why have you decided he “only” harassed her for one day? And that begging isn’t the “end of the world” 🤦‍♀️, this could’ve gone on for three days and nights, you’ve no idea if it has. You’re weirdly making up narratives to make the DSs behaviour “ok”. It’s not ok.

The information is all there in the OPs post. It’s surprising you call out PPs comprehension really.

Mothership4two · 19/12/2025 04:37

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 20:56

The OP didn't say how much he begged, she literally posted one day about him being dumped and the next that the woman blocked him. It couldn't have been so bad. Some people block extremely fast and for not so many reasons. Again, I'm not saying that it was a good thing to do for him, but I rarely heard about a person just dissapearing right away into the atmosphere after being dumped.

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The OP didn't say how much he begged, she literally posted one day about him being dumped and the next that the woman blocked him. It couldn't have been so bad.

Well that's untrue. The OP said: "She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much". So OP is clearly saying that he was pestering her. Also exGF dumped him on Saturday, they spoke on the Sunday and OP updated on Tuesday to say he'd been blocked - so three days of pestering, not her changing her mind from one day to the next. It really isn't relevant if she had decided to block him over a 24 hour period (although that is clearly not what happened), it's the volume of unwanted contact she experienced and, yes, it could have been that bad. She's gone from initially allowing him to stay on in her home to telling him to get out and leave her alone - so clearly his behaviour was negatively affecting her to quite some extent.

I'm not sure why you are continually minimising his appalling behaviour? Ironically you posted on the day the Government launched the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 19/12/2025 07:40

Anuta77 · 18/12/2025 21:10

Yea, like nobody every tried to convince the ex to come back. He only did it for one day based on OP's posts, not the end of the world. Plenty of women here are so hard core on this, but I'm sure all of you already tried to beg an ex not to break up or at least, asked him to talk!

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Some of us have experience of the ex who wouldn’t stop trying to ‘convince’ an ex partner for another chance. We’ve seen it tip into harassment (or worse) and therefore won’t tolerate this type of behaviour.
If he was making her feel uncomfortable then she has every right to do what she needs to do to feel safe. He needs to respect that.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 09:56

Mothership4two · 19/12/2025 04:37

The OP didn't say how much he begged, she literally posted one day about him being dumped and the next that the woman blocked him. It couldn't have been so bad.

Well that's untrue. The OP said: "She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much". So OP is clearly saying that he was pestering her. Also exGF dumped him on Saturday, they spoke on the Sunday and OP updated on Tuesday to say he'd been blocked - so three days of pestering, not her changing her mind from one day to the next. It really isn't relevant if she had decided to block him over a 24 hour period (although that is clearly not what happened), it's the volume of unwanted contact she experienced and, yes, it could have been that bad. She's gone from initially allowing him to stay on in her home to telling him to get out and leave her alone - so clearly his behaviour was negatively affecting her to quite some extent.

I'm not sure why you are continually minimising his appalling behaviour? Ironically you posted on the day the Government launched the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy.

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How is his behaviour appalling - you don't know that he was pestering her for three days. You've just assumed this. He was in a relationship for three years. He was dumped. I think it's pretty normal to want to try and contact someone when they've cut you out of your life very suddenly.

Honestly. The OP and her son have been picked apart on here - as if they are both the worst people on the planet

Someone referred to him as a "cock lodger". They were living together for three years. It's quite normal for people to live with one another in a flat that one person owns.

There's no indication that he made her feel unsafe

BTW I'm female and I'm speaking as someone who has been harassed over a very long time period. Texting someone for three days when you are broken hearted isn't harassment in my view

Harassment is months of unwanted contact - or worse.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 10:10

WomenAreNotEmotionalSupportAnimals · 18/12/2025 21:19

Where are you getting 'one day' from? OP doesn't say that anywhere.

She does say 'my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.' so it could have been over a period of days for all anyone here knows. Even if it was just the one day, it was too much. Text once and say your piece and add you'd like to talk face to face at some point, then leave it alone and accept a reply of 'no' with some grace. Apart from it being harassment to keep pestering your ex to take you back, have some bloody self respect.

He could have given her some space and tried to talk to her once more when she came home, but instead he bombarded her with calls and texts when she had taken herself off for a short break with her friends. That is harassment.

It's not ok for men to keep pestering women trying to wear them down, it's coercive and 'due to the consequences of his own actions this man is sad' is not an excuse. No means no!

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Oh for goodness sake. How completely ridiculous. They had been in a relationship for three years. Living together. She ended it completely out of the blue and then went off on holiday. You don't think someone is going to be upset and want to talk?

Harassment? I know someone who when they split with their partner who they had been living with for 20 years in a house they both owned. Their partner threw them out. They threw their clothes out in the back garden

They texted and phoned them abuse. They reported the persons mum for council tax fraud as soon as they moved back home temporarily. They contacted the TV licencing to report them for not having a TV licence - when they don't have a Tv

That's harassment.

Are people just supposed to get over a three year relationship in five minutes and have "self respect" so they aren't accused of harassing an ex they've tried to contact for three days?

People don't always behave the way that people on these boards think they should when they are upset and broken hearted.

None of us know what was said between them or much more about the relationship apart from she wanted to get engaged and he didn't

Some people on this thread decided that he did something inappropriate or turned up at her work do and proposed - do people always need to fill in the blanks with what they think might have happened?

BatshitCrazyWoman · 19/12/2025 10:35

Repeated contact when you've asked someone to stop contacting you is harassment.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 19/12/2025 10:45

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 09:56

How is his behaviour appalling - you don't know that he was pestering her for three days. You've just assumed this. He was in a relationship for three years. He was dumped. I think it's pretty normal to want to try and contact someone when they've cut you out of your life very suddenly.

Honestly. The OP and her son have been picked apart on here - as if they are both the worst people on the planet

Someone referred to him as a "cock lodger". They were living together for three years. It's quite normal for people to live with one another in a flat that one person owns.

There's no indication that he made her feel unsafe

BTW I'm female and I'm speaking as someone who has been harassed over a very long time period. Texting someone for three days when you are broken hearted isn't harassment in my view

Harassment is months of unwanted contact - or worse.

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If you ask someone to stop contacting you and they continue then it’s harassment and the appropriate thing to do is block that individual.

Mothership4two · 19/12/2025 10:50

Just because some people have had worse situations doesn't make the son's better @Roobarbtwo . He's carried on contacting her to the point she's blocked him and withdrawn allowing him to stay on for a few days.

Texting someone for three days when you are broken hearted isn't harassment in my view

Then you'd be wrong. And he was texting and calling.

Are people just supposed to get over a three year relationship in five minutes and have "self respect" so they aren't accused of harassing an ex they've tried to contact for three days?

Yes. When a relationship is over it's over and continually contacting someone against their wishes is harrassment. We all know break ups are painful but they shouldn't be used as an excuse for poor behaviour. Time frames are beside the point, he should have stopped as soon as she told him to.

BTW I haven't picked him and the OP apart or call him a cocklodger.

Arran2024 · 19/12/2025 10:50

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 09:56

How is his behaviour appalling - you don't know that he was pestering her for three days. You've just assumed this. He was in a relationship for three years. He was dumped. I think it's pretty normal to want to try and contact someone when they've cut you out of your life very suddenly.

Honestly. The OP and her son have been picked apart on here - as if they are both the worst people on the planet

Someone referred to him as a "cock lodger". They were living together for three years. It's quite normal for people to live with one another in a flat that one person owns.

There's no indication that he made her feel unsafe

BTW I'm female and I'm speaking as someone who has been harassed over a very long time period. Texting someone for three days when you are broken hearted isn't harassment in my view

Harassment is months of unwanted contact - or worse.

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We don't know how many texts he sent. If there were say 20 plus, that would be intimidating on its own, and we also don't know the tone or content.

Arran2024 · 19/12/2025 10:54

Popular culture has lots of examples of men pursuing women and it all working out. They get these messages and think it's ok and even highly masculine behaviour which will be a winner when she realises the error of her ways . It's a real problem because the guys in the films are always successful- you don't see them get a restraining order slapped on them. She inevitably comes back.

Roobarbtwo · 19/12/2025 10:55

Arran2024 · 19/12/2025 10:50

We don't know how many texts he sent. If there were say 20 plus, that would be intimidating on its own, and we also don't know the tone or content.

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No we don't. But there's always someone here to pop up with the worst version of what might have happened isn't there

Aplycrumbly · 19/12/2025 10:58

“Texting someone for three days when you are broken hearted isn't harassment in my view”

Broken hearted or feeling inconvenienced because he knows he has to move out? 😬

Either way it is harassment, and especially selfish in this situation when she was on a city break with her mates and clearly didn’t have the time or capacity to deal with it .

He’s 30 not 13, he should have more self-control and been able to send at most the one text saying “ okay I hear you enjoy your break, I’ll call you when you get back and maybe we can talk?” or words to that effect and then left the ball in her court z

Maybe after a few days of fun and things cooled down she would’ve been open to a conversation. Or maybe she wouldn’t have been - and that still would’ve been a valid decision.

However it was pure stupidity to inflame the situation like that by ignoring her wishes for you to leave her alone in the immediate aftermath of this. He will have actually solidified her view that he’s not the one for her through those actions.