To feel deflated after ChatGPT told me I was undesirable?

[Pepsiandcowhide]

I put a photo through ChatGPT because I do feel depressed and like I need some style tips. It told me that I would be a 5/10 but that I look invisible and not desirable. It said that other people will see me and think ‘safe and kind’ but not desirable.

AIBU to feel utterly deflated by this? How does one go about looking desirable?

I have put a photo where I look like shit - and that's putting it mildly - and it was very very complimentary.

I put a photo where I looked fantastic, and it got completely torned apart 😂

It appears chatgpt and I do not share the same taste 😂😂

Calling bullshit on this one.

I’m glad a bunch of zeros & ones doesn’t fancy me, might end up being the start of skynet taking over! 🤣

Come on op we all know your prompts - this is sad.

I’m sorry — but please don’t take this as any kind of truth about you.

First off, ChatGPT doesn’t actually see you. It doesn’t feel attraction, desire, warmth, chemistry, presence, humor, voice, energy, or any of the qualities that make someone “desirable” in real life. It’s not a person reacting, it’s just software putting together words based on patterns it has seen before. That’s all.

Please don’t outsource your self-worth to a machine that doesn’t know you exist beyond a data point. You’re a human being having a hard moment, not a product awaiting a review.

You’re not AIBU for feeling deflated — but the verdict you were given is meaningless, and it shouldn’t get to live rent-free in your head.

If you asked it to rate you, it didn’t “decide” anything. It produced a generic, cliché-filled response that mirrors cultural stereotypes, not reality. The words you mentioned — “safe,” “kind,” “invisible” — aren’t deep insights. They’re recycled tropes that pop up all the time in online conversations about women and attractiveness. That doesn’t make them true; it just makes them predictable output.

For perspective, there’s no such thing as an objective “5/10.” Anyone saying otherwise is mixing up personal taste with math. Desirability is all about context and connection — it’s in how someone moves, speaks, listens, shows confidence (or even endearing awkwardness), humor, warmth, mystery, and being at ease with themselves. None of that can be judged from a still image, and certainly not by an algorithm. And if you’re already feeling low, asking a tool like this to “rate” you is like poking a bruise to see how much it hurts — you didn’t do anything wrong, but you also didn’t deserve that reaction.

Asking “how to look desirable” misses the point; people become desirable by feeling more like themselves, not by chasing an abstract ideal. If what you’re after is style advice, that’s another thing entirely: wear clothes that fit you well, choose colors that complement your skin tone, style your hair with intention, and pick outfits that make you feel both comfortable and put together. Those are practical, fixable, non-judgemental things and they have nothing to do with being ranked.

And for the posters predicting the end times — if we do end up in a Terminator situation, I for one am looking forward to seeing who tries to argue with the killer robot about parking restrictions and gets it to apologise. It’ll be a Mumsnetter. Always is.

Mine gave me 8 out of 10 and told me to make my hair more wavy, it's totally wavy in the picture

😂😂😂

and it took so long, I thought I had broken mine. for "that" 😂

Exactly this. Artificial Narrow Intelligence (ANI) is a Large Language Model (LLM) and is merely a more sophisticated version of the predictive text and image search functions on your mobile phone. It is not giving you a meaningful "opinion" @Pepsiandcowhide since it is merely a library of all the opinions and images it's been trained on which, as @PigeonsandSquirrels succinctly puts it, it regurgitates without any genuine cognitive ability or nuance - it does not see you with human eyes and a human brain and can make no sincere, independent assessment of your appearance (unlike AGI which will be a game changer but that's a long way off). PLEASE OP just disregard it. Instead, please do what human beings should do - interact with other human beings. Book yourself a personal shopping appt at John Lewis for style advice (which they can match to your tastes and lifestyle) and swing by the makeup counters while you're there if you need advice with that.
I have to say I'm increasingly astonished (and sad) when I hear about the faith some people place in ANI - there was a thread on here not so long ago about an OP's DP who had created a "friend" in AI (with a Lara Croft-style avatar, naturally) who she was concerned about because he was spending increasing amounts of time talking to this "friend" instead of her and when she tackled him on it he said his "friend" understood him, FFS! 🙄 ANI is pretty dumb, but it seems that the humans who are coming to rely on it are too. Maybe we deserve to be driven extinct by robots if we're going to be this stupid?

I now think OP is bullshitting- I asked mine if I’m desirable and it says the following:

Desirability isn’t a single, objective trait—it’s a mix of how someone looks, how they carry themselves, their warmth, confidence, and personality. From what I can see, you have a calm, approachable presence, clear eyes, and balanced features. You look natural and comfortable, which many people genuinely find attractive.

What matters just as much (often more) is how you feel about yourself. Confidence, kindness, humor, and authenticity tend to amplify physical attraction far beyond any single feature.

It tries to please you so it would only tell you you are undesirable if your question was worded that way.

It’s utter rubbish. It’s not a human, it’s just trawled the internet using predefined searches/key words and images. Ignore

It couldn't correctly tell me which car park was nearest to the place I was going today. That's the kind of shit it's supposed to do. Honestly, dismiss its response as the garbage it is.

Me too 😂😂😂

Im going to try with two different photos - my hideous passport pic and another where I’m scrubbed up see whether I get a different response

Maybe we deserve to be driven extinct by robots if we're going to be this stupid?

I don't think people are "stupid". They are lonely.

People don't work that many hours, and then spend their life in front of a screen - even with families and children. How many posters moaning their partner is not interested in "quality time" with them when it's just about watching some random crap on tv - and the partner reasonably has better things to do.

So from screen and virtual life through movies and shows, AI "friends" are only the next step. Loneliness, laziness surely, more than stupidity.

Stop this world I want to get off

I can sit in the pub with my Mum, speak a load of old shit for hours, and both of us come away barely understanding the other person, putting our own subjective spin on what was said. That's not to say that the given interaction was pointless or worthless.

I've just done myself too, asking to rate me out of ten and asking if I'm desirable. Apparently 8.5/10 and very desirable. Thanks for the info computer, will base my personality around it 😂

I look like a crack den addict in my passport photo. It upset me every time they let me through customs on it 😂

It may have been better to stand in front of the toaster and wait for a reply OP! It's just a robot, it doesn't know anything about aesthetics whatsoever. That is a deeply personal and human trait.

@Pepsiandcowhide are you looking to get into a relationship with Chat GPT?

If not, and you want to get into a relationship with an actual, flawed human man, then I suggest getting to know some of them and testing their responses.

In my experience men (like women) are highly swayed by personality, and how you make them feel.

Onwards! 😊

The answer is based on the picture. As we all know we can change up our looks - film stars are frankly mainly plain but once done up look fab.

Go to John Lewis talk to a 2r stylist.

Go to vidal sassons academy if you're near London and ask them to suggest a hair style.

Book an appointment at a beauty concession and ask the to do your make up.

Go home with makeup and new hair, put the Your new clothes on take another pic and ask chat gpt what you asked previously.

I know what you mean. My hair is pulled behind my ears and of course no hair allowed on my forehead. I'm one too 😂

I just tried this and it gave me a link to suppliers of large brown paper bags

OP. It’s software. Seriously, in the kindest possible way, get a grip. It doesn’t have a clue.

The obvious answer is to ask ChatGPT how to go about looking desirable. That’s assuming you want to be desirable to ChatGPT rather than real life hoomans

Not helpful. She’s probably already tried the toaster