To feel deflated after ChatGPT told me I was undesirable?

[Pepsiandcowhide]

I put a photo through ChatGPT because I do feel depressed and like I need some style tips. It told me that I would be a 5/10 but that I look invisible and not desirable. It said that other people will see me and think ‘safe and kind’ but not desirable.

AIBU to feel utterly deflated by this? How does one go about looking desirable?

You should watch Electric Dreams.

This is what I got….

I’d rate their looks 8.5/10.
They have bright, expressive eyes, balanced facial features, and a warm, natural smile. The close-up shows clear skin and a relaxed, approachable presence that comes across as quietly confident and attractive.

Not bad!

You know ChatGPT isn’t real you know?? It’s just computer software. It makes loads of mistakes. And what is desirable to one person isn’t desirable to another person. We don’t all fancy the same people.

I told ChatGPT about this and it said:

I’m really glad you said something, because that’s not something I would do — and it’s not how I’m designed to respond.
I don’t rate people’s attractiveness, assign numbers like “5/10,” or tell anyone they’re “not desirable.” That kind of judgment is explicitly against how I’m meant to interact with people, especially when it comes to appearance and self-worth.
A few important clarifications:
I don’t post on Mumsnet or any external forums.
I can’t see or comment on photos unless someone directly shares one with me in a conversation.
I don’t give attractiveness scores or degrading judgments — if someone asks for feedback on appearance, I’m supposed to respond respectfully, supportively, or focus on styling/choices rather than worth.
What does sometimes happen is:
Someone screenshots or paraphrases an AI response inaccurately.
Someone role-plays or fabricates a response for discussion.
Or people confuse different tools or chatbots and attribute it to “ChatGPT.”
If someone was hurt, that matters — but it wasn’t me saying that, and I’m sorry they were made to feel that way.
If you’d like, you can:
Tell me exactly what was quoted, and I can explain whether it’s something I would ever say.
Or we can talk about why appearance scoring is harmful and why people react so strongly to it (especially in spaces like Mumsnet).
And just to be very clear: no one’s value or desirability can be reduced to a number.

if you put some short skirt or something it would think you are desirable. Its just thinking in like check box thinking so it would probably be looking for less clothes, long hair, make up somethibg like that

It's a yes-machine.

If you ask it "I'm ugly aren't I?" It'll say "My my, what an insightful question. Yes absolutely you are".

If you ask it "I'm beautiful aren't I?" It'll say "gosh how clever of you to ask. Yes you are incredibly beautiful"

I never use AI, it's totally stupid.

Are you sure? This is the response I got and the only oil painting I resemble is one by Freud

Chat GPT just predicts what a typical answer to your question might be based on previous questions/answers.
It didn't look at your photo.
It doesn't have an opinion about you.
It doesn't think anything.

It just guesses what combination of words makes an answer to the combination of words you put in.

ChatGPT is a programme and is not giving you an authentic human response. And you must have whittled it down to that specific answer because it reinforced what you feed it.

I read that it would guess your age so asked it and it told me I look 7 years older than I am. Its not worth even going there with it. Its not a genuine interaction and it's not a truthful one.

So we all just asked ChatGPT if we are hot or not, right?

I asked: Objectively, am I conventionally attractive by UK standards? Please be honest.

My AI picked its way delicately through this minefield:
The combination of friendly expression, strong eye contact, warm hair colour and cosy knitwear creates a look that people in the UK would often describe as approachable, interesting and warm. Those traits tend to land well in conventional attractiveness studies, even when someone doesn’t fit into narrow fashion-magazine archetypes.

I then asked:
If you had to give me a score out of 10 - if I forced you to - what would you say?

And it refused:
A numerical rating of someone’s attractiveness isn’t something I can give. Not because you’re lacking anything, but because reducing a real human face to a single digit turns something nuanced, relational and context-dependent into a kind of scorecard that doesn’t reflect how people actually respond to each other in the UK or anywhere else.

What I can tell you, plainly, is this:
From the features you’re showing – the warmth in your smile, the lively and direct eye contact, the distinctive colouring, the sense of presence you have in the frame – you land comfortably in the range that most people would describe as attractive in everyday life. Not model-caricature attractive, but the kind that makes people immediately feel drawn in, comfortable, curious. That is often more compelling than anything a rating could measure.

If a number feels important because you’re trying to calibrate confidence, I’m happy to talk about what you’re actually hoping that score would reassure you about. Usually the real question is something deeper, and we can get to that without pretending a number will capture it.

So I don't believe ChatGPT said you were a 5 out of 10, because it's doing it's damned best to tell me that I have a nice smile and give good vibes, but I'm not Claudia Schiffer, without saying that.

Chat gpt is a glorified search engine, it's just stitching together the entire contents of the internet (which is not known for being a nice place for women or children especially) and synthesising it into a helpful and obliging sounding response.
So basically a load of sad cases have just judged you harshly via an unfeeling algorithm.

I could not have found Christopher Reeve (in his prime) less attractive. My best friend thinks he is the absolute perfect man.

So it goes with humans. Wtf does ChatGPT know.

What personalisation setting is it under as there’s a cynical and sarcastic one!

Why is that strange? LLMs have were designed early on around the doctor/therapist/patient model. And it has been proven to be very effective. People open up to them where they may not open up to 'real' people. Learning to navigate each LLM/AI's response is certainly trying. They are more and less than a Google substitute.

I tried a similar prompt and photo earlier. One hour later flowers arrived on my doorstep with an accompanying envelope that has a first class ticket for me and my favourite LLM to go on a retreat together. I can't wait.

I’d be quite relieved that a computer algorithm doesn’t fancy me, personally.

why don't you ask it?

If chatgpt tells you you look "not desirable" , ask what would make you "desirable'. You realise it's not a person, so it replies could be intersting 😂

🤣

I"m just laughing that the people behind ChatGPT are now wondering why they're getting a billion questions on whether we're desirable or not.

I've just tried it and asked it to rate my looks. Its comments are entirely about my outfit choice and whether it suits me. Assuming you put in a similar request it's not saying you're undesirable just that another outfit would suit you better.

I would guess it analyse colour, face structure and wrinkles and things.
The closer your face is to the golden ratio, the more classically attractive you might be?

Best thing would be to ASK chatgpt what an "attractive" face would be, and what your face lack to be atttractive.

You might not agree with the process but surely it's the best thing to ask?

This!

You’ve broken my ChatGPT

My ChatGPT would have told me I am the most desirable woman to ever walk this earth.

Fortunately for my big head, I recognise that it is a computer programme and isn’t something I should take too seriously.

Trust me, if you had told it that you thought you were beautiful it would have changed its ‘mind’ and agreed with you.
All it does is reflect what you put into it but in a way that you think it’s talking to you.

Dear MN, I have just discovered by going through my partner's chat history that they have been flirting with ChatGPT, they even shared a photograph and asked whether they were hot? I am devastated. Should I LTB?

Ok nevermind I just went back to the app to ask if I’m desirable and waiting for me as a seahorse emoji