to be appalled by some women’s behaviour?

[GrumpyOldWoman2]

DH has just come back from a work do at his new job (2 months in) and told me that his female colleague was drunkenly trying to get him alone, trying to hug him and offering to buy him drinks all night. We had a baby 5 weeks ago and she knows this!! He’s extremely loyal and kind (struggles to stand up for himself which bugs me sometimes but…) and kept trying to reject her advances to no avail, he ended up leaving early as she made him so uncomfortable. He came home sober.

Just disappointed for him as it was meant to be a nice break from the newborn trenches! Why are people like this? Trying to get on a married man is bad enough but doing it when you know they’ve JUST had a baby is abhorrent! He’s also dreading going back to work on Tuesday and seeing her. Grim behaviour.

Hardly. OP is a regular so if she wanted to post a reverse would likely name change.

Wow. So if a man just wants to hug a woman and buy her drinks that’s ok regardless of if she’s uncomfortable with it?

Some of these replies are amazing. Talk about starting a fight in an empty room.

OP she was out of order, it’s a shame your DH’s party was ruined, hopefully she’ll be shamefaced come Monday.

Complaint to HR would be in order. You wouldn't hesitate if the sexes were reversed.

Just come home unless you’re not in the UK ? It’s almost 2am
I’m sure she will be mortified on returning to work it’s not worth stressing about

Its pathetic and embarrassing how much society tries to use alcohol as an excuse for bad behaviour

People are adults...if they cant not act like complete twats when having a drink, they should abstain from drinking. And they should be held accountable for any behaviour displayed whilst intoxicated

I think he should call her out on the way she behaved next time he sees her. Not is a shouty way but explain that she embarrassed him and made him feel uncomfortable. She needs to take responsibility for how she made him feel

Some of the replies on this thread are also poor...so the husband had unwanted behaviour directed at him on the do, but he shouldn't have shared that with his partner? He did nothing wrong in this situation...the woman was touching him when he didn't want to be touched and made him uncomfortable. Totally not his fault.

Yes…? Was a night out in quite a far away private venue.

Would you be so dismissive if this was a male sexually harassing a woman?

She was definitely out of order. If I was your Dh I would write a record of what occurred, sign it date it and file it away.

Then be completely professional but wary with this woman in future. And yes it is a shame he felt he had to leave but it was probably the right move.

Hopefully she will be embarrassed and there will be nothing further but a contemporaneous note by him is a good thing to have set aside in case of further problems.

So we should just accept people behaving like dicks and not stress about it as they themselves will be mortified?

The behaviour bothered the partner enough that he felt so uncomfortable he left the party. Thats not acceptable and if he wants to address this, he should in whatever way he feels fit on return to work.

I’m really sad at some of the replies on this thread.
Had it been a woman having to come home from a Christmas night out early because a male work colleague made them feel so uncomfortable the replies would be so different

She sounds like a very unhappy and insecure young woman who has maybe had a troubled past.
These sorts of people exist because sadly it’s not a perfect world. Just be glad you have a lovely loyal husband.

YANBU. I firmly believe that people who turn into handsy idiots when drunk should just not drink unless surrounded by very understanding friends/family.

Anyone over the age of 25 should know how they react to alcohol. If they start hitting on random guys then for god's sake don't drink at a work party! This woman must have damn well known that she'd end up making someone uncomfortable.

It's also especially difficult for your husband, OP since he's in a new job and I'm guessing still figuring out the office politics. I understand why he wouldn't want to tell her off at the party since it might have backfired on him.

He must have walked in
told you this story
and you immediately grabbed your phone and started furiously banging out a mumsnet thread! 😆

FFS! 🤦‍♀️ What is WRONG with you!?!?

If this was a woman, being harassed at a works party in this way by a man, would you be saying that it’s ok, the man ‘just wanted to hug her and to buy her drinks’ all night???

Catch yourself on ffs!

Can’t believe the number of people making excuses for the woman and blaming the man. You are definitely not being unreasonable, OP, nor was your husband. The woman sounds insufferable. There is no excuse for sexual harassment in the workplace - including work events - regardless of gender. That’s a basic. And coming on to a new father is in my view a special kind of shit because you know exactly how vulnerable the family unit is at that time.

why the hell would the DH come back home and give the OP information she can do nothing with?
If we could sidereal this from the perspective that men and women are intrinsically not that different, we can conclude that it is a natural response after an upsetting event to want to talk about such event with the person most trusted.

For the same reason most posters come here for, not all responses are needing to be a solution. Most often, it is to seek validation and empathy. The fact that he chose to speak to OP about it shows that he is fully comfortable to do so, and hopefully means that he is there to listen to OP when she experiences an unsettling situation.

Nowt else to do when looking after a newborn 😅

Hugging in the work place? Do you think that's ok with your 'just wanted to'? If it were a bloke just wanting to hug a female work colleague, would that be ok?

That is harassment. The woman made him very uncomfortable at the party and now he is worried about going back to work. He should raise this with HR.

Maybe try to sleep? Talk to husband given he sounds so distressed by this turn of events

What time did he leave?

Nothing wrong in venting is there? Or perhaps OP needed a little validation for feeling the way she does?

Belittling in this instance is uncalled for and unkind.

Partners talk to one another. He told his wife why he hadn’t enjoyed the evening, and why he was home early.

Try sleeping with a refluxy baby and tell me how well that goes for you. DH was sleeping.