1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

[FamilyofTrees]

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

I wouldn’t because you don’t know what dangers are there (dogs, broken plant pot, cat shit!). I even have to do a safety sweep of my in-laws garden before the kids play in it - there’s usually shears, weedkiller and broken stuff lying around!

Well, that's certainly an imaginative conclusion to have drawn...

@FamilyofTrees Unless you are planning on suing the home owners if he hurts himself while he is on their property I would say YABU. Why on earth don’t you parent your own child, and if you don’t want to why have another one? Mind you, if you do manage to sue a homeowner you could maybe hire a Nanny with the proceeds?? 😂

DD1 has always been super inquisitive, would think nothing of asking someone what they were doing, or asking us what something was or going to get a closer look. Had to be really strict with her, instilling boundaries and keeping her under control.
Who knows what hazards may be present, as parents we gain an almost superskill in making our homes child safe, other people don't, and indeed if they have no children themselves then why would they.

If this is your parenting ability the future looks bleak.

What if he fell and put his hand in dog shit? It’s someone’s garden, they’re not obliged to pick it up.

What if he sets off someone’s ring door bell every time he wanders on one of his detours? My elderly FIL has dementia and has a ring doorbell so we can see who is coming and going. Every time it goes off we leap in to action as he’s had rogue traders scamming him out of thousands for gardening services. We’d be charging round there only to discover it’s someone’s child who is free to roam as Mum won’t pick him up.

Oh dear. OP you need to start a new thread. In the meantime, parent your almost two year old and edit your thread title, your child is not a one year old.

You can't stop him? He is 1. Don't be absurd. You need to keep him off other people's property, both for his own safety and because he needs to learn boundaries. If you cannot control a 1 year old then I question the wisdom of procreating.

If he wandered into my garden, my dog would knock him flying. Not because he is dangerous but because he is a large exuberant puppy who would not be leashed in his own garden. Depending which part of my property he wandered onto, he might also get a zap from the electric fence.

I have 4 children. If I can control 3 other children, a dog and a 1500lb horse while 8 months pregnant, you can manage a single toddler.

Jesus Christ.

You are being very unreasonable. Why do you think it's acceptable to allow your child to go into other peoples gardens?

Do some parenting. It will make your life, their life and life for others more bearable in the long run.

Jeez this post reminds me of the hapless parents who allow their children to run up my drive most of the year. We live on the NC500 and often have the idiot campervan drivers who park up at the end of our driveway. We have 2 ponds around 3 metres up our driveway, they're difficult to see from the drive as they’re lower than the road and there’s reeds growing next to the drive. The water runs into them off the hills before going into the loch and they’re around 8’ deep. We have signs up that are totally ignored. We’ve had 4 children fall into them in the past year because of parents who think it’s their God given right for their little cherubs to come on to private property. Thank goodness we put strong wire over those ponds because of the stupidity of numerous parents as we felt if a child drowned we’d never be able to live with ourselves. People like us shouldn’t need to go to these lengths because of stupid parents who can’t read signs in 5 different languages!

@FamilyofTrees respect peoples property, you never know what dangers lie within it, it could be a shallow pond you can’t see or deeper ones like ours.

Before anyone starts on here and asks why they’re not fenced off, it’s private property, people shouldn’t be on our land in the first place. Parent your children for goodness sake and don’t allow them too wander on to private land.

How do you stop him wandering into the road? Use the same method.

I have weed killer on my front lawn.

I wouldn’t let my toddler do this. She is really great though now at 3 walking next to me and not touching things out of the blue. In the shops if she looks at something even a toy she puts it back if I tell her. It was firm and consistent messaging since she could walk and I never let up (I never allowed myself to relax the rules once and let her run riot). It paid off and when we are out she listens and doesn’t dart off.

We looked at Xmas decorations on the streets too and she happily points them out and all but does not run up to them, touch them or run off down the road.

What a world we live in when people have to ask a bunch of strangers if they really have to parent their own child. So he will kick off? Tough, thats for you to deal with. Maybe there would be less kicking off if parents were not so entitled and actually set boundaries.

You've just jumped the shark.

However, if you're serious then I presume that (if you live in the UK) you never use public facilities and eschew both the NHS and state education.

Tax is theft of private property?

What rubbish.

It's your contribution to protection of society. Heath. Education for your uncontrollable bratty toddler. Defence of the country. Police. Fire brigade. Your child benefit. Your free nursery hours. Prisons to lock up criminals who might really steal your private property. Provision of rail and road infrastructure. Collecting your bins. National grid,
gas and water infrastructure. The courts. Street lights. Decent pavements so your kid doesn't hurt himself tripping over paving stones and potholes. The mechanism that ensures all vehicles are roadworthy. Managing flood risk. And much much more.

Get your kid or if everyone's gardens. Control your child.

And be fucking grateful that you will give birth to your next brat in a safe clean hospital with professional care because of the theft of private.property taxes we all pay.

A 22 month old that people are scared to say no to, is why we have so many problems nowadays.

Ahhh. There's your agenda. Post in politics. Don't bait us here

Here's a brilliant piece of kit you're going to find super useful when you've got not one but two toddlers to keep safe:

It's the word no.

Did you not say that you were looking at the lights?

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad?

Personally I detest leaflets and those godawful fake charity bin bags being believed and if I could prevent them being delivered to my properly then I would.

The sack of mail would be too heavy!

I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown

This reluctance is the first step on a path to behavioural issues later on op. You have to be prepared to weather a meltdown to get them to follow instructions. Meltdowns are a pain, especially when you are tired and pregnant, I do get that.

He shouldn't be trespassing - both for the issue of respect to the owner but also his own safety. Even puppies learn "no" when they try to go somewhere they shouldn't.

This is hilarious, I have no idea how you will ethically go for walks anymore when you can’t go into other peoples yards (very sensible ) but you really also shouldn’t use pavements and roads since they are paid for by theft.