Page 7 | 1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/12/2025 22:34

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 22:03

Who said it was dark? Why would I be going for a casual walk in the dark with my 1 year old at 8 months pregnant? 😂

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To see Christmas lights at 4pm?

The rest are all possible accidents that can happen during the day.

Not sure if you meant your response to come across as hostile, but it's how it did to me, however. I wasn't even criticising you, they're just the sort of issues that people with unrestrained children have whether pregnant or not - reins are very useful and you could team it with a buggy for when he drops like a stone because he doesn't want to do what you want; with reins, you can hold the back and then lift him into the buggy like a rather angry handbag without doing as much damage to your lower back, hips or large bump.

Although that may have been just one of mine. It did let her have some freedom without doing me any damage - or annoying anybody else.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 13/12/2025 22:37

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

You’re tying yourself up in knots trying to find loopholes to justify your behaviour now. You’ve asked the question, been overwhelmingly advised that you are indeed unreasonable, so perhaps just take this on board? You sound very entitled letting your child go wherever they like onto other people’s property, plus as other numerous posts have mentioned there may be hazards or dangers you aren’t aware of.

NKU2029 · 13/12/2025 22:38

I was going to ask if this was a reverse but it would appear not. Oh dear.

DyslexicPoster · 13/12/2025 22:44

Lavender14 · 13/12/2025 19:20

I wouldn't be letting my child go into other people's front garden but equally I wouldn't have an issue with him coming into mine. I'd be inclined to put him in his pram. Ultimately he needs to learn boundaries while walking with you, especially if you've another on the way. And you've no idea if those houses might have a dog. I think you need to be a little tougher and stop giving the option for him to walk if you aren't able to lift him and carry him. Especially if he went to run out into the road or similar.

I agree. It wouldn't boover me if he came in my front garden, but I'd never let my own toddler do it. Dogs especially or cars and drives etc. That's a risk you need to find peace with. I certainly never expect to look for a toddler in my drive when it's dark. In the day I'd see him. At night? Maybe not so much.

Notsureibelonghere · 13/12/2025 22:47

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:13

I've chosen one fairly at random to quote, but I want to add that I am not letting him wander away from me or go towards anything dangerous. If a dog attacked him somehow before I picked him up from the maximum 1m he had gotten away from me (because I had let him and was watching closely, you are all correct in saying I would not let him wander into the road) then that dog is point blank dangerous and should not have been loose because we are barely off the pavement. The dog could also easily run into the road. And obviously I am aware of cars moving. The front gardens he has looked around actually didn't even have driveways. They are basically patches of grass just off of the pavement.

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I presumed you let him do this everywhere rather than bizarrelly allowing it on one specific street. Plenty of houses have long drives and many reversing will look at the road to check it is clear but will not be checking their own driveway for children too small to see in their mirror. I say this as I know someone who was run over by their Dad as a small child on their driveway. You said in your OP that you find it difficult to control your toddler so I'm struggling to understand how you confidentally believe you will develop this ability in the event of an incident.

S251 · 13/12/2025 22:48

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 19:16

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

Lazy parenting at its finest. No it’s not acceptable, and by not implementing it he has no boundaries. There is no need for him to “wander” if he holds your hand at all times which wouldn’t give him the opportunity to wander off. If he screams because he doesn’t like it you just stand there until it stops. If it’s drummed into children they hold your hand from the moment they start walking it wouldn’t be a problem. Especially if near a road.

youalright · 13/12/2025 22:48

I have Christmas decorations on my front and nearly break my neck everytime I go to the bin tripping over wires. There are often hidden dangers on other people's property you are not aware of. Saying nothing I can do about it isn't an option in parenting. You are about to have a 2nd and you can't even cope with 1

WhamBamThankU · 13/12/2025 22:48

Terrible parenting

BabyLikesMsRachel · 13/12/2025 22:50

I have 3 children although the youngest isn't walking yet. 'No going into people's front gardens' has always been one of the rules when walking. I wouldn't allow this and if/when they tried they'd be moved straight away and they soon understand. If they were likely to continue trying to do it I would keep them in reins.

Funnywonder · 13/12/2025 22:51

If I saw your child in my garden, I wouldn’t be in the least bit bothered. But I know people generally don’t like it, so I would never have let my DC do it.

Dogs on the other hand …

user1473878824 · 13/12/2025 22:57

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 19:21

He has never opened a gate to go into the garden, they are literally just off of the pavement.

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Wow if only there was a way you as a parent could stop this from happening!!!

good that you’re taking this all on board and buying reins but why did you need to be told this?!

Outside9 · 13/12/2025 23:03

You are the parent, not him.

IdaGlossop · 13/12/2025 23:07

I despair! How cannot not be obvious to a parent that private property is off limits and that it's their job to teach their child this from the minute they start walking?

Boundaries have to be in black and white for toddlers. I have two godsons who were brought up with no boundaries about anything. One day, when staying in their home, I walked with the elder, aged four, to collect the younger from nursery. On the way, he started running down the hill towards a main road. I called him back. He ignored me. I ran after him, still shouting. He ignored me - then stopped within two feet of the kerb as I caught up with him.

The outcome? I told the parents I was not able to look after the boys by myself other than in the house because they were not responsive to adult authority. Three years later, the parents broke up. The grandma the mother was relying on for after-school care said she couldn't look after them because they didn't know how to do as they were told so she didn't feel she could keep them safe. (Both boys are now grown-up, lovely and loving partners and dads.)

This is a cautionary (and true) tale about boundaries and the bad things that can happen when the woolly-headness the OP is showing here is not restrained.

Loobyloolovesandypandy · 13/12/2025 23:11

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 19:21

He has never opened a gate to go into the garden, they are literally just off of the pavement.

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Give it another year or two and you will be posting on here about how your children don’t listen too you and how fed up you are of being a parent.
of course he shouldn’t be wondering onto other people’s properties and I guess you follow him to bring him back?

rosanna19 · 13/12/2025 23:20

I think the replies here are insane. why would anyone care about a toddler having a little look at their garden. I’m not sure how that seems to translate to you letting your toddler play in traffic or square up to dogs etc as everyone seems to think in here. I think it’s completely okay to let a curious toddler have a look as long as they don’t touch anything. god forbid people have to encounter tiny curious children!

Izzywizzy85 · 13/12/2025 23:22

WTF-yes of course you’re unreasonable. What do you mean you can’t stop him, he is one year of age ffs 😂 the absolute entitlement. YABVU.

Wordsmithery · 13/12/2025 23:23

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

You're derailing your own thread here!
We're not talking about tax, fascinating though that would be. We're talking about parenting a two year old.
I agree with the other posters who say a big fat no to strangers or their kids in their garden. Reassuringly, OP, you have taken this on board.

Stravaig · 13/12/2025 23:23

We really need to license for parenthood.

Somethingneedstochange78 · 13/12/2025 23:24

Put reins on him why are you allowing him to walk down the st without holding his hand anyway? Toddlers are unpredictable and can run into the road if they see something of interest to them. Teach him you can look but don't touch.

usedtobeaylis · 13/12/2025 23:25

rosanna19 · 13/12/2025 23:20

I think the replies here are insane. why would anyone care about a toddler having a little look at their garden. I’m not sure how that seems to translate to you letting your toddler play in traffic or square up to dogs etc as everyone seems to think in here. I think it’s completely okay to let a curious toddler have a look as long as they don’t touch anything. god forbid people have to encounter tiny curious children!

Mumsnetters are incredibly precious about their property.

BogRollBOGOF · 13/12/2025 23:39

rosanna19 · 13/12/2025 23:20

I think the replies here are insane. why would anyone care about a toddler having a little look at their garden. I’m not sure how that seems to translate to you letting your toddler play in traffic or square up to dogs etc as everyone seems to think in here. I think it’s completely okay to let a curious toddler have a look as long as they don’t touch anything. god forbid people have to encounter tiny curious children!

I wouldn't want to be held responsible for inadverantly mowing it over with 1.5 tonnes of metal because I couldn't see it in my rear view mirror/ through the body work, and wasn't expecting it to be there in the first place.

It's a private front garden, not a public park.

Reins were very useful for the stage where survival instincts haven't caught up with little legs.

XenoBitch · 13/12/2025 23:40

rosanna19 · 13/12/2025 23:20

I think the replies here are insane. why would anyone care about a toddler having a little look at their garden. I’m not sure how that seems to translate to you letting your toddler play in traffic or square up to dogs etc as everyone seems to think in here. I think it’s completely okay to let a curious toddler have a look as long as they don’t touch anything. god forbid people have to encounter tiny curious children!

Look at, not in.
Letting your kid trespass onto private property is just entitled behaviour.

GeorgeEdwardsMum · 13/12/2025 23:42

Glad you're taking the advice on board, but did you really not think of the dangers to your child letting him into stranger's gardens? I'd be pissed off if I saw little Timmy wandering around while mummy stood idly by because...I don't really know why.
My DC are all now adult so my garden definitely isn't child-proofed. I have a huge open water feature, Imagine trying to drag him out of there at eight month's pregnant. There are also several poisonous plants, steep drops and freestanding features/statues.

WingsTingle · 13/12/2025 23:45

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 13/12/2025 19:22

Why are you so passive? Parent your child.

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Good grief - what is the matter with people??

Marble10 · 13/12/2025 23:45

I feel like everyone is being harsh. My 7 yo still touches things 🙄 my neighbour has the ultimate touchy garden stuff and they are always so lovely about it and know it’s just what kids do.
I had an inflatable up for Halloween and a few toddlers / kids touched it , no problem at all - I expect it!