1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

[FamilyofTrees]

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

Not worried, unlike your child my dogs are trained to stay on the pavement!

There’s a world of difference between a normally developing one year old and an almost two year old, op.
Surely you’ve noticed this?

Did someone ask you not to trespass in their garden and you came on Mumsnet expecting everyone to agree with you that it was all right? You seem really defensive about this.

Also, why have you rounded down by 10 months rather than round up by 2?

Yabu. You absolutely can stop him doing it, you are choosing not to.

Did you really think the majority would say you were being reasonable? Keep your child out of people’s gardens.

OP why can't you accept that you are wrong to allow your child onto other people's properties? Entitled much?

Your nearly two year old is at age at where he or she should understand it isn't acceptable behaviour.

She accepted it ages ago

I literally have admitted this.

I feel like I am being wildly misrepresented here.

No one has challenged me on this in person. I felt uneasy about it while it was happening, hence seeking opinions.

If I truly didn't care or was a bad parent why would I bother posting this at all? If you all can't see that I was willing to accept the consensus opinion and was truly asking for advice then I don't really know what to say.

I think the wording I used originally, such as 'there's not much I can do' and 'avoiding a tantrum (sic)' made me come across as a more passive parent than I am, but truly only I know the actual situations and state of my parenting. I appreciate anyone who has actually engaged with the post in a helpful manner. One of the main things I'm surprised by are the feral dogs that are waiting to bound out of houses up and down the country. That has made me more hesitant about dogs in general, even when I was already very respectful/wary of dogs in public anyway!

I think rounding up someone's age is a strange practice. Even if I was 30 tomorrow when asked my age I would still say 29..?!

It's just rude to wander into other people's gardens, fence or not. It's literally that simple.

I was going to say this too, its the same where I live and when walking the dog if she gets too close to someones garden she is quickly pulled away even though to her one surface is the same as another she doesn't realise the grass is no go but pavement is fine. It's up to me to control the situation. I dont have time to read the full thread but sounds like OP is not going to allow this to happen from now on

Okay fair enough, thanks for clarifying things. FWIW you haven't come across as a bad parent to me at all. The tax thing was a bit out there though 😂

Have a great Christmas with your wee one and enjoy your new one when they arrive 😊

Thank you. I appreciate your well wishes. 🥰
The tax thing was a parallel I couldn't help draw based on a book I am currently reading (Life After the State by Dominic Frisby, if anyone is interested).

Thank you for the maths lesson. However I was taught how to ‘round up’ and 22 months is somewhat closer to 2 than 1 🙄

There’s a reason why we usually use months rather than years in the early years - did you go around saying that your child was aged 0 until the day that they were 1?
I think it’s this faux naivety that has given you a bad time on this thread even though you quite gracefully agreed that YWBU. That and the weird political reference.

Those are very boring look gardens, OP, but you described them as stone and grass. There are people who saturate their stones with weed killer or spray certain types of weeds in the grass. They may fertilise, or drop snail pellets or spray any flowers. Spray pesticides. Your child has a small body. Do you really want to risk him being exposed to that sort of thing? You might not be able to see it, but the hazards may be there.

Your child needs to learn the path is there to walk on and we don't wander off it.

Yeah but I’ve already been there and done that twice. I don’t want toddlers and their parent in my space especially a parent who can’t say no

No it's not unfair. If a toddler is constantly going into someone's property you say no every time. How else do you expect them to learn?

That’s a ridiculous age comparison though isn’t it? There will be no developmental difference between a woman of 29 years, 11 months and two weeks and one who is 30 years old. However a child who has just turned one is massively different to one who is a few weeks off two. Hence why a lot of people refer to babies in months don’t they? He’s nearly 18 months / he’ll be two next month. Most people would round up at that age because the difference is so vast.

In fairness, I also assumed everyone rounded up anyway.

I’m 36 next week, and started telling everyone I was nearly 36 probably about 3 months ago. I am now just saying I’m 36, because what’s a week!

At my age, I find rounding down by several years is the best approach.

65 and 3/4.

I've given up on rounding down. I might do the same as one of my pals and just lie.

We accidentally found out her true age this year. Fortunately, she's now okay but she broke a bone this year and had to give the paramedics her true age. She's been slicing off 5 years for at least the past 40 yrs.)

Not sure why you're get quite such a hard time - I do think YABU but only mildly (I wouldn't have been upset but still better not to do it). Also, I had 2 under 2 and reigns are definitely your friend, Trunki do something called a ToddlePak I've found great - so useful for managing a walking toddler when you also need to manage a buggy.

Got to be a reverse. I'd watch it. I know 2 families who have guard dogs who will pretty much go for anyone who unexpectedly wanders onto their land.