1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

[FamilyofTrees]

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

It is not your house/garden to let your toddler wander into either.

It’s not ambiguous at all, op.
Are you still not actually getting it, perhaps? It’s perfectly straightforward.

You could do a drawing. But in your OP you said wondering into gardens to have a look around, now it’s literally just a small patch of grass next to the pavement and he can’t get more than 1m away - sounds more like you’ve changed your story after hearing responses to be honest. But ultimately no matter how small someone else’s garden is, it’s still not your child’s to walk on so I’m glad you listened and won’t allow it going forward.

Fair enough, I see the confusion, but I did specify it was a reindeer and Santa which specifically got his attention and neither were lit up (it was about 12:30). I didn't mean to come across as hostile.

This!! Take the buggy, and when he kicks off he gets firmly strapped in there and taken home.

You are teaching him that he is allowed to go wherever he wants. Stop that now and teach him to respect other people’s property.

If you put the effort when DC are 1/2 it will be easier when they’re 3/4.

So some of these minute gardens without fences that front onto the pavement have Santas and reindeer in them. The Santas and reindeer must be very small - and liable to get pinched.

Maybe I will start a new thread, thanks for the idea.

Also, not sure if you can't do maths, but 22 months is indeed a 1 year old. (12 months in a year. 24 months = 2 years. 22 months = 1 and 10 months)

They aren't small at all. They are just a very large patch of grass with a stone path leading to the front door. Recently there have been some very large and attractive reindeer families and blow up Santas installed in some of them!

How would you feel if my two Springer spaniels came bounding up to your child exploring their garden??
They are not aggressive but I'm assuming you would have no problem with them bowling him over? I could guarantee they could get to him far quicker than you could cover the meter you say he is away from you.
Stupid and irresponsible parenting.

You missed the end of the quote. I was trying to get a consensus opinion on whether this is a firm boundary worth enforcing. It's very unfair to just constantly say no to a toddler over something that isn't actually a big deal. Just because we have total control over their lives doesn't mean we have to be unreasonable tyrants. Also, saying no and then changing your mind when they have a screaming tantrum only teaches them that a tantrum causes the parent to change their mind, which is why you see older children still tantruming when they should be over that developmental stage.

How would you feel if the same dogs ran out into the road? Because as I have mentioned, the gardens are not fenced and are right on a road.

You are contradicting yourself. You have said your son is never more than a metre away from you ie small patches of grass, and yet now the gardens are big enough for families of reindeer and inflatable santas.

Did your parents allow you to wander in other people's gardens? When you were a child, were your friends allowed to? Do you see other mums nowadays allowing their kids to?
Why don't you know this isn't OK?
What other odd blinds spots of entitlement do you have?

Okay, this is blurry because Google maps is blurry, but seems fairly unidentifiable. The pavement is on the left of the road and there are large grass fronts gardens right next to it.

I think @FamilyofTrees you also need to make sure you aren’t making a rod for your own back. Child needs to learn he can’t walk all over other people’s property, because then it will be harder to undo . What if in the spring he wants to go into peoples gardens because he sees flowers he likes? Will you let him pick them? Etc etc. much easier for you if you just nip it in the bud and have a clear rule - walk nicely on the path.

Maybe the toddler is a giant, along the lines of Honey, I Blew Up The Kid

See the picture I posted. I walked next to him (so I am also in the front garden - not ideal I know) or let him go a bit further if I can literally see there are no hazards.

I have already said I intend to stop allowing this behaviour. I can't believe how aggressive and hurtful some people have been in their responses, although Mumsnet AIBU does bring out the worst in people, I find!

We leave the gate open for easy access for a wheelchair, not for stray kids and dogs.

Reins are brilliant, especially the ones that have a sort of handle on the back so that you can pick up the child if needed. If you have a child that often impersonates the Screaming Iron Bar (loud and rigid, IYKYK), they're invaluable.

Saying no to a toddler is about teaching them right from wrong. Consistency is what brings fairness. If you are clear in your own mind about what is right and what is wrong (and you are not clear, hence your OP), you don't change your mind. As a parent, you have to learn to deal with tantrums, otherwise you're teaching the child that they will get what they want if they have one. As for the fairness argument, it becomes more and more significant and complex as they get older.

That's where the electric fence comes in. Keeps dogs in and entitled parents of roaming toddlers out

Thank-you for the picture. It clarifies the majority view: your son should not be walking on the grass in other people's gardens.

The tone of some MN posters surprises me sometimes but that's what happens on public forums.

If you look at point A, you say it’s not your house/garden to take a photo of so surely by that logic you see it’s also not your garden to walk in?

There are lots of things your toddler can't do. Saying no is part of parenting. You don't like it, tough.

And you know better than to trespass. That's such an asshole move.

Wondering if you live near me. I certainly wouldn't let my child walk over their front gardens. The houses near me like this the owners work hard to maintain, in the summer I see people taking pride in mowing their lawn and their plants either in the garden or in pots. I would be miffed to look out my window and find your child wandering around my garden.
Look with your eyes, not with your hands.