To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

Of course he is 🙄

A 22 year old with two kids by two different men doling out life advice like the Dalai Lama 😂

You may have it all in hand, but you have a major flaw. Calling people who find it harder than you "bloody lazy" suggests you are very lacking in empathy and not a very nice person. You need to work on that before you pass your unpleasant attitudes down to your kids.

It doesn’t read like a 22 year old’s writing. It’s a bit odd.

You couldn’t write it!!…oh wait…🤣🤣

@Starbri8 thank you. I was thinking this too. Bloody offensive.

As my mother would say, what do you want, a Blue Peter badge?

I’m sure there are things you find difficult that other people think “why on earth is she finding that so hard”. Empathy, for example.

Just taking the conversation in another direction...

... Most of us who had children 25 years ago got on with it, mostly enjoyed it and mostly had established routines for the children.

The majority of my friends worked full time (teaching, accounting, medical, shop, finance, legal)

None of us were broken or worn out with it all.

We batch cooked, slow cooked, pre cooked, school dinnered.

Children's bedtimes had routines and children were in their beds with lights out 8pm at the latest, then the adults had their evenings to spend as they chose, as they weren't co-sleeping or having to lie with their child.

Children amused themselves in their bedrooms until parents got them up in the morning.

We'd go out as a group of friends with our children in the holidays and without children in the evenings.

I think the internet has fed this culture of being "worn out" and "exhausted" from every day parenting.

My mother and pretty much all her friends worked.

Kids weren't bored years ago, they were creative with their time because they had to be. They were more sociable with each other in person. Now, if there isn't a screen available, kids say they're bored far too easily.

I remember taking myself off out all over the place, we were getting the bus to town to watch a film on a Saturday afternoon from the age of about 9 or 10, without any parents. Much more independent.

If we’re not expecting people who are 22 years of age to be well-written then we sure do have low standards.

Personally, I'd wait until im done parenting before posting smug posts, as your kids might become more challenging as time goes on. Obviously it might always be plain sailing, but a chance when one or more hits a certain age they become less amenable...

Cleaning and cooking isn't wasting one's time - they can be a real pleasure if approached with the right attitude - and the kids weren't bored doing nothing. They knew how to entertain themselves. They didn't sit around waiting to be taken on an interesting outing every day (every day!) by overworked, harried parents. They got on their bikes and took themselves on interesting outings!

I was just about to say the same! Full time is very different to part time in my opinion. If she is relying on a man as she only works part, it is lazy!

You only work part time and you're calling other people lazy?

I agree parenting is easy when you work part time - but I wouldn't be criticising others who are finding it hard, especially if they're working full time.

OP may be self-righteous but I don’t think it’s fair to say everyone who waited has it soo much better. If it was reversed an a younger mum said they’re glad they didn’t have to go through IVF or infertility, can spend more of their lifetime with their DC, we’re glad they found a partner and didn’t have to go through multiple failed relationships etc. they’d get plenty of backlash.

Other people here don't need to be catching strays basically.

Thing is, it can be 'easy' if;

1. You have a spouse to support the family financially/you are able to manage on UC/you have a well paid, secure job that allows you to pay bills, work around children/afford childcare (or you have family who will do it for free)/it's not a toxic environment where the employer capitalises upon financial vulnerability
2. You have comfortable, affordable, secure housing
3. You have been able to afford or been given good quality flooring, furnishings, furniture and appliances
4. Everybody has a space and needs that align with those of everybody else
5. You get good, refreshing sleep every night
6. Your own health is good
7. Everybody else's health is good
8. Your spouse isn't abusive, controlling or going to disappear with the next 19 year old that comes along once you age out of his preferences
9. Your spouse actually likes his children and will happily share parenting and agrees with you on how best to do it
10. You've been supported to do things that required money, time or in the case of an infant in the home, childcare
11. No random accident, redundancy, benefits screw up, bereavement or other incident happens
12. You have children who actually respond well to the style of parenting

But that is a huge amount of things to pin an 'easy' life upon.

my life isn’t hugely difficult. However I’m not blind to the fact I am privileged to work part time and can pick my kids up after school, can afford to pay for a cleaner and my mum helps twice a week. Also don’t have an abusive partner that for the most part plays his part and certainly earns enough for us not to be penny pinching.
Not everyone has the same 24 hours.

Another example of a woman not having the same experience as others claim to have had being belittled, Personally I think she's right, I often read whinging posts on here and think What a wuss!

Absolutely this, I remember my childhood being like this. My parents were quite overprotective but we could have freedom to ride our bikes up the road on our own, go round our friends' houses, and my mum cooked mostly from scratch with the occasional quick frozen meal when busy.

I find that childhood these days is probably more restrictive, maybe parents are more protective than mine were. But I also agree that we were more creative being bored, therefore we needed less input as we had to use our initiative more.

My DC, especially my son relies probably too much on the screen time and being told what to do. My youngest DD seems more capable and confident with independent play, but does have a very vivid imagination.😅🙃

Did you even consider SEN kids when you posted this? What a nasty thread you've made here.

I wouldn’t necessarily say it was particularly “well written” just normal style writing.

And you think that the PP you’re quoting was be belittling?

are you claiming benefits? Wondering how you support yourself with multiple children and working part time.

I'd be touching wood, Op. You've no idea what's ahead of you. Things could change quickly in years to come no matter how disciplined a parent you are. Life usually makes us eat our words.