To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

Whilst I don’t disagree with you OP, I spend enough time out and about, observing other children in the wild to realise that not all children are as calm and well behaved as my own. For that I am thankful, not critical of other parents who are just trying their best.

I had 2 really biddable kids too. Bloody wonderful. No tiredness, no struggles...

BUT I also recognised that not all kids are like mine, and not all parents have the same situations or advantages that I have had.

Agree and for me also, as I had children later, I’m more senior in my career and juggling two DCs (eldest 3) and a household oh and I have my own needs and a DH to spend time with too.

I’m glad you are finding parenting okay OP but after reading your updates I am a bit concerned for you. Am I correct in understanding that your widowed DH got you pregnant at 19? It’s just fairly shocking as I assume he must be a fair bit older than you.

Kids are all under 8??? Enjoy your sanity (and bravado) while it lasts.

Come back to us when they're teenagers. And then adults.

You know nothing. 😂

I get home between 4:30 and 5:30. My kids have football one evening and tennis another. We eat around 6:30 - 7 every night, sit round the table and it’s cooked from scratch. Dinners are easy things like fajitas, enchiladas, roasted tomato and ricotta pasta; I’m not baking my own bread or anything fancy.

I think the key here is that my husband pulls his weight, although he works longer hours than I do and so I tend to do dinner most evenings.

Sen brigade here sorry. If I only had my oldest I'd be like you (oldest is autistic but nowhere near as nightmarish as his brother)

Being independent has nothing to do with being bored? Going to the cinema is still an outing, doesn't matter who you go with. It's part of being "busy" and have a busy social life - like most do.

if you read testimonies on this forum (or elsewhere), plenty of children dreaded the weekend because they were bored out of their head.

Now, if there isn't a screen available, kids say they're bored far too easily.
Only when they have lazy parents who live with and for screens. When parents life goal is to scroll on their phone all day, and spend evenings and weekends watching tv, they can't complain their kids are addicted to screens.

I am always shocked by the question: what tv show do you recommend? when people reply with list and lists of all the shows they've watch. They must do nothing with their life to have had time to watch the whole of Netflix/ Disney/ Prime/ Sky!

I was.

got up to all sorts of shit because I was bored.

(born 77)

If they were lazy OP, they wouldn’t be posting on a site asking for advice as they wouldn’t give a shit, so yabu

The people that post may be less resilient at that point in time than someone such as yourself. That may be for lots of reasons: ill health of either themselves, partner or dependents, shit partner, no family support, work full time, stressful job. But no they are not lazy

why? teenagers are much much easier than babies and toddlers? You can have your life back when they are independent.

😂😂😂😂

DH is self employed and works up to 80 hours a week so no we don’t claim benefits. I work 30 hours. Are you lot that work full time trying to imply that SAHMs have an easy go of it?

I find my life fine too OP BUT, at 22, you will most likely have more energy than a mother who is older. And you work part time. But well done you

relevance?

I'd take a careful look at what you are teaching your children.

Compassion and personality are important.

Ahahahaha.

yes… and no.

you don’t have the broken sleep and worrying about feeding them.

but teens have have much bigger problems that are harder to deal with - anorexia, attempting suicide, taking or dealing illegal drugs etc.

I was (am) a single parent and have raised 3 kids (youngest almost 18) but I’ve raised 3 good kids. Yes i’ve imposed rules (no being rude to me) and not pandered to their wants etc, but overall it’s been easier as they caused me little bother. Having seen what some friends are going through I feel very lucky I didn’t have some of those issues to deal with. Also some parents are suffering with depression / other illnesses. I do think your post is a little unkind. These people are clearly at the end of their tether and thankfully have largely received a lot of support. No need for this post.

Frankly I agree

Well, we expect most 22 year olds these days to have a good grasp of contraception, to plan beoming a parent when they old enough to have some life experience, be in a stable relationship with a man who is good enough to be a great parent, and to work full time (because why the hell shouldn't a 22 year old work full time?).

What happened, OP? You're not so perfect....

Parenting is bloody hard work. Even with kids who don’t have issues.

Were you expecting some sort of pat on the back because you claim to find it easy?

What is the reason for your thread OP other then to have a look at me and pat yourself on the back?!

Most parents aren't lazy they are knackered!

Well your dh certainly landed on his feet.

Bagged himself a nice compliant teenager ready to raise his child for him.

I was probably also pretty arrogant at 22 and thought I knew it all after I had been groomed as a teen into marrying an older man too. Life certainly knocked me down. Good luck op.

Op - I think a lot boils down to how you’ve structured yourself as an adult! that effects how well you cope as a parent. If you haven’t done that work mentally and financially your going to flop.

Not everyone can/has done this before becoming a parent.

I had a neighbour who, when I had my first child asked me how I was getting on. She said her first child was perfect - slept, fed, cried very occasionally but they could always work out what was wrong - did what babies were supposed to. They wondered why people thought it was hard...
They had another 18 months later. Didn't sleep, screamed for hours on end, couldn't do anything to help - and was pretty much like that for three years....
Then they knew!