To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

I suspect some of the voters won't have read the whole thread so will have voted without the subsequently revealed context that the lofty pronouncements are coming from a 22 year old, that one of the DC is a stepchild and one is a 1-month old, and the OP works part time.

I’m only a few years older than you and the OP sounds like a bunch of MN tropes to set people off, sorry. Its not adding up to me.

goes to make tea

As in plant it, harvest it, wither, oxidise and roll it before lovingly immersing it in properly temperature-calibarated water? I would expect no less. (Whispers) I've heard some of those other mothers use tea bags from Tesco. Can you imagine?

I think different people just have different experiences. I really like parenting. In hindsight I look back and realise that we were quite isolated when the kids were younger , because we don’t have any family help. Some days I would have wanted to vent about how hard it was. But overall it’s been great and we happily co-slept for years.

But other people find parenting harder! and that’s fine too. It doesn’t mean that they are doing something wrong.

Maybe you can babysit for the tired mums here?😂

There are many reasons why parenting can be tiring.

Lack of extended family or friends to help care; single/lone parents; having to deal with other stresses in life; lack of money for activities; parents working long hours; children with SEN who may be more challenging, and the list goes on.

OP, please chat with AI instead of posting anything on Mumsnet. That’s literally what I do—anytime I want to talk about something, I use AI. It’s much better and keeps evolving to become even better.

My children don’t cause trouble now that they’re in their teenage years, and I’m grateful for that. But I don’t brag about them because there are people going through hard times who might take their frustration out on me, so I prefer not to expose my happiness.

I apparently slotted into my parents’ lives as a baby and toddler. I was a good child too who was happy playing quietly and entertaining myself. However, I have apologised to them for what I put them through as a teenager. Their parenting luck ran out - despite them both being excellent parents.

Also I think part time is the best of both worlds for many. Some time to spend with the kids and also get on top of stuff at home but also not with them 100% of the time (which can leave one wanting a break and some time with adult interaction).

are you quite well?

I love that someone manages to take offence because parents find baby and toddler years the hardest 😂😂

Or maybe you had so much help and babysitters tap you have no idea it can be hard for the rest of us? 😂

I also have an acquaintance who finds parenting easy and often asks what all the fuss is about. Her standards are pretty low imo. Not suggesting this applies to you, OP, but just saying I think how easygoing etc. a parent is massively reduces the chance of them having this perception of parenting as difficult and stressful.

I honestly wonder why people have children when they resent their existence every weekend and every holiday.

Well done OP.

Maybe you are just one of those people who is a natural mother and very organised and has reasonably laidback kids. Oh and a helpful husband. Do you work from home aswell?

None of those things apply to me. So I stuck at 1 kid.

Growing up me and my brother fitted around the whims of my father, we never did anything kid related it was all healthy meals, saving money, going for walks and being quiet (we were scared of him).
It’s a world away from how life is for my DD.
I don’t know which is better.

YABU and stupidly naive to think that your experience of parenting is exactly the same as everyone else’s. This is exactly the sort of post and view you’d expect from a know it all know nothing 22 year old.
some people find parenting hard and that’s ok, it is hard. It’s nothing at all to do with laziness.

Your kids arent "all fairly close together" as you claim though, are they? Under 4 and over 8 is a gap of over 4 years!!
You are riding for a fall op! Being so smug is not just tempting, but positively begging fate!

Or actually OP and spouse are good parents who give boundaries.

There is a lot of lazy abd ineffective parenting.

No, they have easy children. Plenty of parents who have to work at it every single day to maintain boundaries and teach their children life skills.

I also don’t see where the op fits in all the volunteering and community support all the parents I know do to support the community their child lives in. Dh and I each manage a sports team, two for various events, he’s on a sports club committee and I’m on the nursery committee, we volunteer at school when we can, and parents have multiple game/event day roles, all the parents we respect do this, it’s a substantial extra load and just part of being a good parent.

Well, I already thought your post was obnoxious, but then I got to the “SEN parents can STFU, we don’t want to hear from you” bit and realised you’re actually profoundly unpleasant. Enjoy your flaming, all attention is good, right?

I actually love parenting but my children are fussy eaters and do have screen time. I don’t think that is a failing on my part. I’m a single parent and I work full time so surely you can appreciate my situation is different to yours.

In turn, I am well aware of my own lucky situation because I have a good enough salary to to struggle on one income and family locally who help with childcare. Other people’s situation is harder than mine and I know that. You ought to reflect on that before implying those having a hard time are just lazy.

Offended? No. 🤔

Just moderately amused by your hubris.

And I'm quite well thank you. Aren't you sweet for asking. 😊

Here we go. Someone posting that life is actually ok and they're getting slted. God not you. I've loved having children, and working full time. Stop moaning, get a grip and enjoy your short time on this earth.

Congratulations for winning the competition that no-one else knew about. I wish I'd known, I'd have unplugged the internet

You've only got your parenting training wheels on @SourGrapez. Come back when you've got through the teenage years.

The ‘SEN Brigade’ is one of the most insensitive comments I’ve seen for a while.
What an idiotic comment, obviously no understanding on neurodivergence.
Well done for being such a great and perfect parent 👍🏻

I have “easy” kids, well behaved, great eaters etc. Have a husband who does 60% of the domestic stuff and mental load. I’m still fucked and fed up cos I work 50 hours a week in a high stress (but high paid) job. Thems the breaks eh.

I work at atm and job has flexibility. It is so different to ft. You just have those extra couple of hours a day to fit stuff in or unwind a bit. I actually work 30hours which is officially ft here but still a big difference compared to 40+ hours.
Only 2 adult children at home now.