To think people are being bloody lazy

[SourGrapez]

Not trying to be goady (but probably will be 🙄). I keep seeing post after post about how parenting is “relentless” and “breaking people” and I just don’t really get it?

I’ve got 3 kids, all fairly close together (2 under 4 and DS8), work part-time, house isn’t a tip, kids eat actual food and go to bed at a sensible time. No screens during the week, no running round after them like a headless chicken. They sleep. Don’t beg and boss me about. They behave. Life ticks along.

Obviously there are tired days but some of the stuff on here makes it sound like people are barely surviving and I can’t help wondering what’s going wrong? Kids don’t need entertainment 24/7 and they don’t run the house. If you start as you mean to go on it’s… fine?

I don’t drink wine every night, make healthy dinners, don’t co-sleep, don’t negotiate bedtimes or bathtimes. Maybe that’s the difference? Or maybe people just don’t like being told no anymore (including adults).

Not saying I’m perfect, just genuinely confused how basic routines have become some kind of impossible feat 🤷‍♀️

And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.

goes to make tea

👏👏👏👏

You sound incredibly smug. Some children aren’t neurotypical, some are just harder when little. Some parents don’t have conventional working hours.

Not all parents are young and fit, not all have perfect mental and physical health. Not all parents have support, not all parents have a decent income, not all are able to afford to work part-time. Put some of these factors into play and see how bloody lazy you are then.

You're doing a great job, please keep it up. Ignore the nasty comments here, we need good parents.

Have you a newborn as well as the other kids? You posted quite recently about being pregnant.

Your comment about the SEN brigade is really offensive, but besides that, well done for keeping it all together when it seems you've been through a lot.

You had your first at 16/17. Your 2 are 2 under 4. So he’s a man whose old enough to be married, father a child, and become a widower, who got a 19/20 year old mother of a toddler pregnant. Ick.

Authoritarian-style parenting probably does make life easier when they're young. I'm sure you are parenting the way you were parented, Op. Yes, your children are fed, clothed and well-behaved, now. Will your dd be pregnant at 17 and the mother of 3 by 22? Is that what you would want for her? If you follow the parenting path your parents laid out, don't be surprised if the results are the same.

I voted YABU for posting such a goady, smug post.

You said in your opening post that they sleep. And there is your answer. A lot of children don’t sleep and that creates compound sleep deprivation.

Such an immature thing to post - 'it's easy for me, why isn't it for everyone else?' Try working full time in a demanding job plus caring for children. Try doing it all on your own. Try doing it whilst caring for elderly parents simultaneously. Try doing it whilst going through menopause. Try doing it when you have health issues. Try doing it when you're 45 instead of 20. Try doing it with kids with SEN. Try doing it with a co-parent who does things completely differently to you so routines are impossible to establish, whilst shipping kids between houses. Try doing it when you have serious emotional challenges in your life like close bereavement or no support network. Enough reasons for you?!

A word to the wise also- judging others is dangerous. You may find in 20 years time that despite your 'perfect' parenting your kids don't speak to you because you actually weren't as perfect as you thought. Parents with low emotional intelligence tend to be those people, with zero idea of what went wrong. Don't be one of them - recognise the world is not black and white.

Well done for being perfectly perfect in every way x

There’s been loads of these weird stealth brag posts lately I read somewhere about various websites adding ai generated content to increase traffic and activity , I wonder if this is one of them as they’re like goady paint by numbers

How do you know she’s a good parent?

I agree. I think the 'western world' has lost the plot when it comes to parenting.

I honestly think he groomed her, and has imposed such strict rules that she has no choice but to do everything and keep the kids in order. And now she looks down on other women because they find parenting difficult occasionally

lol are you for real. Calling everyone who struggles with parenting lazy, but then people remind you you’re in a place of privilege to be able to work part time she she’s offended. Give over.

Part time working parents isn’t easier, but I definitely would love to be in a position to consider the option.

this thread is clearly a wind up.

Well I am the same as you except I don't give my kids screens at all.

But I find parenting hard. Maybe because I need a lot of sleep and don't get it. And also because my mum is dead. Maybe you drink more caffeine than me and find it easier to push through?

‘And before the SEN brigade come and tell me how it’s different with their children, we already know and obviously this isn’t about them.
goes to make tea’

the sen brigade? Omg if you are genuine, you are insufferable

I know, I’d rather be lazy than an insufferable twat!

Tbf if anything this post just shows your immaturity.

Despite your young age of 22 years old, you might come across as more credible if you didn’t cherry pick your replies.

The immature and dismissive nature of your post betrays your young age and limited life experience as well as lack of empathy. Newsflash: different family units have unique dynamics based on a variety of factors. The fact you are able to easily manage 3 children whilst being PT is great but let’s not clutch our pearls because others aren’t and also not everyone has an older successful man supporting them.

Rightly or wrongly, I can't help but think those who find parenting a breeze because their kids are so well behaved, it's because the kids aren't very bright. Vacantly sitting in their pushchairs, no curiosity, never pushing boundaries.

Yes, yes, I thought I knew it all at 22 as well. Spoiler: I did not, in fact, know it all.

OP, you have barely begun to experience parenthood and adult life yet. You will have hard times, because that is life and everyone has them. You will also have some great times. Maybe just enjoy them instead of using them as evidence of what a perfect parent you are.

Also, it’s pretty easy to not be tired when you’re young. I’m in perimenopause, which is causing physical and mental exhaustion like I’ve never known before. You’re years away from that, but it will come.

It’s so easy for you to sit in judgment, OP, but you’re so naive I almost feel sorry for you.

You had a baby around November time (you were 25 weeks at end of July, according to previous posts) but you're back to working 30 hours a week already? 🤔