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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD(15y) off ill from school...now wants to come grocery shopping

160 replies

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/12/2025 18:00

And I know why...so she can try to strong arm me into buying her sweets and treats 😒
She's been complaining of a tummy ache and feeling sick. I relented and let her stay home. I've had an awful 11 months with work and quite frankly I am burnt out and crawling towards the Christmas break. She's been ill on and off lately. I am sympathetic (she gets bad period pains), and has been involved in friendship dramas that I talked through with her, but she does also take the piss. I'm a single parent so have to be both good and bad cop.
She's now screaming and crying that she wants to come with me to Tesco to do the shopping. I've said no. If she's too poorly to go to school, then she's not going to be trotting round Tesco throwing all sorts in the trolley. I buy her snacks but she always wants more.

She's having a full on screaming fit. She takes treats out of the fridge and cupboard. I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly think of over the years to stop her with this bad habit.

AIBU to not take her? In fact I've just finished work (WFH today), am exhausted and just feel like not bothering at all.

OP posts:
Onthemaintrunkline · 12/12/2025 22:49

She might be ‘kind polite & lovely’ in your words, but from what you’ve also shared she appears drama friendly, disrespectful and manipulative. Very manipulative. A young madam who wants her own way.

To unwell for school, definitely no going out.

Redpeach · 12/12/2025 22:55

Tesco deliver

IwishIcouldconfess · 13/12/2025 17:14

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/12/2025 18:22

I didn't say that. She's definitely gets told no. I don't think this is unheard of with teenagers, is it?

Show quote history

Yes you did say that, you said that exactly

Peppermintpatty24 · 13/12/2025 18:25

Your FIFTEEN YEAR OLD is SCREAMING and CRYING like a toddler because she can't have her own way? I would be more concerned about that behaviour than the trip to the shops, although I wouldn't allow her to come with either.

independentfriend · 13/12/2025 19:26

Worth having a read about endometriosis/ other things that are not just a bad period.

There's an overlap between endometriosis and IBS so worth her thinking about food in that context - what causes symptoms?

And worth exploring how much pain she's in - is she having a tantrum partly because of pain? If so that's something for her to explain to a GP as the impact of period pain on her.

Fresh air and daylight and a walk can be good for illness recovery (if not infectious). I'm not sure many people would put a supermarket on the list of places they want to go when feeling ill.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 13/12/2025 21:30

Well I wouldn't be buying her any sweets or treats at all. Not for a good long while behaving like that.

Oldwmn · 14/12/2025 14:48

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/12/2025 18:00

And I know why...so she can try to strong arm me into buying her sweets and treats 😒
She's been complaining of a tummy ache and feeling sick. I relented and let her stay home. I've had an awful 11 months with work and quite frankly I am burnt out and crawling towards the Christmas break. She's been ill on and off lately. I am sympathetic (she gets bad period pains), and has been involved in friendship dramas that I talked through with her, but she does also take the piss. I'm a single parent so have to be both good and bad cop.
She's now screaming and crying that she wants to come with me to Tesco to do the shopping. I've said no. If she's too poorly to go to school, then she's not going to be trotting round Tesco throwing all sorts in the trolley. I buy her snacks but she always wants more.

She's having a full on screaming fit. She takes treats out of the fridge and cupboard. I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly think of over the years to stop her with this bad habit.

AIBU to not take her? In fact I've just finished work (WFH today), am exhausted and just feel like not bothering at all.

Sorry, did you say 15? And she cries & screams for treats & sweets?? And you keep these things in the house & she nicks them???
Get a mirror, stand in front of it & say 'No' until you get the hang of it. Then say 'No' to shopping trip, several times if necessary because she sounds like she's not familiar with the word.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 14/12/2025 15:37

Pereniallyannoyed · 12/12/2025 18:06

Fuck, no.
She is 15, not 5. You need to have the backbone here and tell her that. Too sick for school, too sick to go out in public. That’s how it works in the adult world. Get used to it.

Also, there’s enough disease out there at present. Keep your sick kid home and stop spreading germs unnecessarily.

Um, no it's not the same in the adult world.
If I'm sick, I still have to get my kids ready for school and drive them there.
I may need to get something from somewhere outside of my flat i.e. a prescription or something from the supermarket.

Balloonhearts · 14/12/2025 16:00

Screaming and tantrums at 15? Jesus. She needs to hear No more often. Barring special needs, that is not normal behaviour for 15 year old. I don't think any of mine tantrummed past about 7 and even that was rare.

I think they'd be too embarrassed. What if their friends happened to see them? They'd get the piss ripped out of them forever, screaming and crying like a 5 year old.

Labelledelune · 15/12/2025 13:30

I would be going off to the shops and leave her to her tantrum. She sounds very spoilt. I would not be buying any snacks.

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