DD(15y) off ill from school...now wants to come grocery shopping

[CelestialCandyfloss]

And I know why...so she can try to strong arm me into buying her sweets and treats 😒
She's been complaining of a tummy ache and feeling sick. I relented and let her stay home. I've had an awful 11 months with work and quite frankly I am burnt out and crawling towards the Christmas break. She's been ill on and off lately. I am sympathetic (she gets bad period pains), and has been involved in friendship dramas that I talked through with her, but she does also take the piss. I'm a single parent so have to be both good and bad cop.
She's now screaming and crying that she wants to come with me to Tesco to do the shopping. I've said no. If she's too poorly to go to school, then she's not going to be trotting round Tesco throwing all sorts in the trolley. I buy her snacks but she always wants more.

She's having a full on screaming fit. She takes treats out of the fridge and cupboard. I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly think of over the years to stop her with this bad habit.

AIBU to not take her? In fact I've just finished work (WFH today), am exhausted and just feel like not bothering at all.

Firm no from me. Bring her back some chicken soup and a selection of veg if she's really poorly.

But 15 year olds don’t have to go to Tesco to buy sweets.
A 15 year old screaming and crying for sweets is fairly 🤯

I had a sweet, kind little girl who had dramatic teenage years. I was a single parent too. You have to hold the line if you’ve said no, though.

My 5 year did. It has gone down in family legend. I had treated him to a McDonald’s (I know, I know) and he said he wanted an apple instead. I said no he had to eat his McDonald’s first 🙈🙈 yes I know reading that back it is ridiculous! Luckily my friend was with me and broke the tension/tantrum by laughing so hard at me 🤣

I didn't engage, I went into another room. I'm not going now. She's just come in calm again and showed me some work she's done. I'm going to cook tea and maybe we can have a chat about kicking off when things don't go the way she wants. I have to remind her I'm the parent and she's the child.

Are your teens boys or girls? Lots of hormones, lots a stress, testing boundaries. People's brains don't fully develop until mid 20s and thats the impulse control part. Teens usually act this way at home to let it out as its there safe place. Its not always a bad thing even if it may feel like it.

I never had chocolate, sweets or fizzy drinks in the house unless at Christmas or birthdays. My mother took the attitude that there were going to be 24 chocolates in the Advent calendar and she didn’t bother herself about when they were eaten. She only bought one per child per year, though.

well done for leaving the room op

😂

Maybe you can get under a duvet on the sofa and watch a film now it’s blown over.

Well done op. She is probably embarrassed how she behaved but might struggle to verbalise that. It shouldn’t have stopped you going but you know your situation better than us on here. She definitely needs to know that that behaviour is not ok. She needs to find better coping mechanisms when her emotions start to free fall - as do a lot of adults to be fair!

You say she is normally lovely so maybe this is just a blip. I’m mean but I would comment on her bf behaving like that and how it looks to others and your dd doesn’t want people to have a similar opinion of her.

I have one boy and two girls.

I agree with you, it's most certainly not the norm. By that age they should have developed more of a sense of self management. Screaming tantrums should be in the past. They'll get upset, cry, be a bit huffy, but a screaming tantrum when they don't get their own way?
No. (Unless there is some additional need).

Impulse control, perhaps. Getting frustrated and upset, yes. Not a screaming tantrum because they don't get their own way.

That sounds positive. I'm glad she's calm.
I hope she eats well and you can talk about what happened.
I hope you can get some support with whatever is troubling her.

Teens do not usually act this way. Mine didn’t and I don’t know anyone whose teens did behave like this. Very spoilt behaviour.

15! Yikes.

Nope. If you’re sick enough to stay home, you’re sick enough to stay in bed. If not,
get your uniform on and get to school.

The only teens I know who acted this way had something else going on. It wasn’t just normal teenager hormones. Has your dd got anything going on at school or with friends or is there any issue at home?

Screaming and crying at 15?
😂
I was almost an adult then.

I would have let her go. It’s food shopping but I wouldn’t be allowing lots of treats in extra

it’s hardly a trip to the zoo or cinema etc

Flipping Nora - she’d be grounded (once well again) if she screamed at me - plus phone/laptop etc would be taken away right now. Don’t let your child bully you, she doesn’t sound very ill - school tomorrow!!

Did you scream and have tantrums when you were 15? To be honest that sort of behaviour from a 15 year old is shocking to even read about!

Sulking, huffing, normal enough. Screaming and crying? Bizarre.

Teens do not usually act this way at home, it’s ridiculous behaviour for a 15 year old.
God love you if you have some like this and you think it’s the norm.

How on earth can people justify tantrums at 15 as being normal?