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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unexpected guest on Christmas Day

282 replies

Purtyburty · 12/12/2025 11:17

Hi all I would like some feedback on this situation my DH has given me this morning. This is our first time having Christmas in our own home as we usually go off visiting different sides of the family as nobody lives in the same area. My parents are 5 hours away and DH’s parents are 2 hours away. This year we are hosting DH’s side as we have two young children under 5 and it just gets too much travelling and taking presents etc. We have asked DH’s DB to come as well because he has just come out of a 6 year relationship in the past year. DH’s parents are divorced so just MIL coming as well from 23rd-27th. DBIL has not given a definite answer where he is going but this morning my DH said DBIL said he might come and bring somebody he is seeing with him. DH has not shut it down and he said he said ‘oh really?’ and that was that. AIBU to not want this to be the case? We’ve never met her - I had to ask my husband her name even 😬 when I said I didn’t like that idea DH said im just making things difficult for him now? Thoughts?

OP posts:
Purtyburty · 18/12/2025 12:33

MeridianB · 18/12/2025 08:35

Who books a one-way ticket to Rome unless you live there? Is GF from there?

Yes his girlfriend lives there. He has booked a one way ticket and just playing it by ear of when they come over here but don’t want to be tied to any definite plans.

OP posts:
B33cka8 · 20/12/2025 19:07

scaredfriend · 12/12/2025 11:46

I think it depends massively on how long they’ll be staying. A few days - I’d not be best pleased. Coming for Xmas day lunch - fine.

Same! I'd just want to relax over Crimbo, not be hosting for a stranger ideally (sorry not sorry). It's a short few days off work with kids off school, we are all just trying to catch our breath

B33cka8 · 20/12/2025 19:13

Askingforafriendtoday · 15/12/2025 19:15

Wonder how you would feel in DBIL's shoes, if you were the one with a broken relationship and a new partner...

Not one for jumping from relationship to relationship and there is nothing wrong with being on one's own! Anyway he can have Christmas with her elsewhere it's not as though he's being forced to be alone is it

MimiGC · 20/12/2025 19:43

Purtyburty · 18/12/2025 12:33

Yes his girlfriend lives there. He has booked a one way ticket and just playing it by ear of when they come over here but don’t want to be tied to any definite plans.

An Italian who doesn’t celebrate Christmas?

SMDX3 · 20/12/2025 20:33

Purtyburty · 12/12/2025 11:17

Hi all I would like some feedback on this situation my DH has given me this morning. This is our first time having Christmas in our own home as we usually go off visiting different sides of the family as nobody lives in the same area. My parents are 5 hours away and DH’s parents are 2 hours away. This year we are hosting DH’s side as we have two young children under 5 and it just gets too much travelling and taking presents etc. We have asked DH’s DB to come as well because he has just come out of a 6 year relationship in the past year. DH’s parents are divorced so just MIL coming as well from 23rd-27th. DBIL has not given a definite answer where he is going but this morning my DH said DBIL said he might come and bring somebody he is seeing with him. DH has not shut it down and he said he said ‘oh really?’ and that was that. AIBU to not want this to be the case? We’ve never met her - I had to ask my husband her name even 😬 when I said I didn’t like that idea DH said im just making things difficult for him now? Thoughts?

Think how awkward or nervous she is going to feel coming to her new boyfriend’s families house for Christmas. If she’s coming to you probably either doesn’t have much family or really likes brother in law and wants to make him happy and support/ be with him. It’s going to be way more intimidating stepping into your house than it is annoying for you I would think. He has asked anyway before the big day so if it isn’t for you you have time to say so. No one wants to feel awkward in their own home so you make the final decision and partner should support that so you’re jot left uncomfortable. It’s not going to be for all day and most adults will head home after dinner if they are with a partner, sensible people don’t over stay their welcome. You also have the kids to diffuse the awkwardness or get out a board game and get to know his possible future partner. We were all new once

custardcreme77 · 27/12/2025 04:29

Hi OP, hope you had a lovely Christmas.

Is your BiL still in Rome?

Happy New Year to you.

Purtyburty · 27/12/2025 08:05

@custardcreme77 Happy New Year to you too! Hope you also had a lovely Christmas. BIL phoned on Christmas Day from Rome and seemed happy. He is still there - I think it all worked out for the best to be honest. He needed a bit of escapism this year x

OP posts:
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