"We're pregnant"

[IngridBurger]

I hate it so much. No he isn't pregnant. Not even a bit. Yes he's going to he a father. He's expecting a baby. His partner is pregnant. How lovely that he's excited about it. What an amazing dad he's sure to be, but he is absolutely not pregnant!

I'm as grumpy as a middle-aged woman can get but this one really pisses me off. Pregnancy is a uniquely female experience. Why the fuck do men need to lay claim to it?

Do they experience morning sickness? Worry about the effects of the pregnancy on their career and earning potential? Be judged by all and sundry if they decide to have a thimbleful of wine or a slice of smoked salmon? Go through the risks and pain of childbirth?

Is it just me? (I expect so!!)

Yes but if you understand that biological fact, then surely you can understand the other biological fact?

I mean the fact that they aren't both pregnant.

Does that mean that reality flies out of the window?

Dictionary definition: /ˈprɛɡnənt/
adjective
adjective: pregnant
1.
(of a woman or female animal) having a child or young developing in the uterus.

They could say "they" will give birth on the moon and it would be as factually correct.

What next?

We're breastfeeding?

We're having a C section?

We're secreting lochia?

I am told that newborns actually do resemble the father so he wants to look after them. Not sure I believe it though as data also suggests plenty of babies are raised by a father not their biological father.

Actually talking about this. I don’t mind the saying as I said in my post but this reminded me of my brothers old school friend when his girlfriend was pregnant he went to his doctors to see if he could be prescribed something so he could breastfeed also . Never forgotten it and no one talks to him now .

If I get pregnant I’m definitely saying “we’re pregnant”, so DP knows things will change for HIM too (like having to care of me 😁).

Its one of those times when i think "wanky".
Never heard it said in real life though.

It’s not the ‘ Darrens’ or ‘Dans’ or ‘Alfies’
who are saying this crap - their wife or girlfriend is ‘having a baby’

it’s the ‘Tarquins’ ‘Raphs’ and ‘Ollies’ and Alisdairs’ who are the ‘we are pregnant’ ones

bellends

Nah. It’s a grim turn of phrase.

I find it really gaslight-y. Women pay heavily for bearing and feeding and raising babies. If that isn’t enough, then we also have to pretend that men are going through the same thing and that pregnancy and birth are a shared labour?! Err no thank you.

‘We’have sore raw nipples
’We’ Have infected stitches
’We’ piss ourselves when we laugh or sneeze
’We’ have stretch marks and a gunt
‘We’ have PND

’We, we, we wee all the way home

I hate it. There’s always a certain type that say this! Sorry 😆

When I was working on a postnatal ward I complimented a new dad on his son, and said how much he looked like him. Dad curtly replied they'd used a sperm donor and I shut my big mouth up.

Thing is, baby really did look like him.

If that silly boyfriend asked his NHS doctor that question now, the answer would be yes! Marvellous 😜

I sort of get it.

"I am pregnant" implies its her baby alone and that he has no involvement.

"We are having a baby" is the correct way to show that they are doing this together and he is involved, but I "We're pregnant" is a sort of shorthand for that, despite being BEYOND annoying to hear!

And I agree that more women than men seem to say it, in fact thinking about it I dont recall a man ever saying it.

However, rather more telling, I have often heard men saying "My wife is having a baby" which I feel is him distancing himself from the whole thing.

Oh he probably would but she dumped him not long after birth because he was controlling her. Wouldn’t surprise me if other men have asked it.

No I hate it too. It is ridiculous.

It’s always a slightly wet-looking younger millenial man-boy who can be found at a Christmas gathering telling people “we’re pregnant?”.

Possibly the donor they used was chosen due to his resemblance to the father, so I dont think its that daft a comment. His reaction however would suggest some insecurity or anger about it being a donor child, otherwise why say anything? Its no ones business but theirs. I dont think that this was about your comment in and of itself.

I overheard a male friend announced to someone he'd just met the other day, 'I've had four children.' I decided not to say anything in front of the other person but inwardly rolled my eyes and thought 'mate, you mean you've got four children, give your wife some credit, you're not a medical miracle.' He's normally fairly sound, but I thought that was a daft comment.

Well if some men think they can hack being a cow for the first few weeks of the baby life, good luck to them.

Surely "we're having a baby" is the limit of the middle ground? "We're pregnant" is a definite overstep and I agree "my wife is having a baby" is a move in the opposite direction. What a minefield!

Having BF once myself, if I thought my useless ex could have done at least that ONE thing instead of me I would bitten his bloody hand off! Dont get me wrong BF was great but the night wakings.....not so much!

I've only ever experienced a couple of wet lettuce late 30s hipster types saying it.

You know the type of bloke who looks like the bottom of his trousers has gone no contact with the tops of his loafers?

My pregnancies were literal hell on earth (bedbound in pain, unable to even shower or stand) so absolutely 100% loathe this phrase!

Had one at work this week! Love that phrase wish I had known of it then! Funniest thing about it? This guy was 60 if he was a day, the gut hanging over his drain pipes down to his sockless en-loafered feet was a sight to behold. His hair was.....being kind....Rick Astley in the 80's. Being undkind? A wig.

He wasnt old enough to have been hanging on to the 60's but struck me as a "I am not getting old, I am young and hip" type. Serving him was a lesson in self control!