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AIBU?

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Original poster

"We're pregnant"

185 replies

IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 20:45

I hate it so much. No he isn't pregnant. Not even a bit. Yes he's going to he a father. He's expecting a baby. His partner is pregnant. How lovely that he's excited about it. What an amazing dad he's sure to be, but he is absolutely not pregnant!

I'm as grumpy as a middle-aged woman can get but this one really pisses me off. Pregnancy is a uniquely female experience. Why the fuck do men need to lay claim to it?

Do they experience morning sickness? Worry about the effects of the pregnancy on their career and earning potential? Be judged by all and sundry if they decide to have a thimbleful of wine or a slice of smoked salmon? Go through the risks and pain of childbirth?

Is it just me? (I expect so!!)

OP posts:
Zov · 11/12/2025 22:09

IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 20:45

I hate it so much. No he isn't pregnant. Not even a bit. Yes he's going to he a father. He's expecting a baby. His partner is pregnant. How lovely that he's excited about it. What an amazing dad he's sure to be, but he is absolutely not pregnant!

I'm as grumpy as a middle-aged woman can get but this one really pisses me off. Pregnancy is a uniquely female experience. Why the fuck do men need to lay claim to it?

Do they experience morning sickness? Worry about the effects of the pregnancy on their career and earning potential? Be judged by all and sundry if they decide to have a thimbleful of wine or a slice of smoked salmon? Go through the risks and pain of childbirth?

Is it just me? (I expect so!!)

I do agree that it's a naff phrase, but I'm not sure I agree that men are laying claim to it. It's largely women who say it IME.

Just say 'we're having a baby.' 'We're pregnant' sounds stupid, and it's also factually incorrect!

Spidey66 · 11/12/2025 22:10

I think it’s cringey too.
she’s pregnant
theyre having a baby
hes not pregnant therefore ‘we’re pregnant’ isn’t correct!

Rachie1973 · 11/12/2025 22:12

In addition…..

’we’ve decided on gas and air only’.

Original poster
IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:15

Zov · 11/12/2025 22:09

I do agree that it's a naff phrase, but I'm not sure I agree that men are laying claim to it. It's largely women who say it IME.

Just say 'we're having a baby.' 'We're pregnant' sounds stupid, and it's also factually incorrect!

Show quote history

Interesting point re women saying it. Is it a form of internalised misogyny? An attempt to make the father feel more included? Pregnancy is an amazing thing which only women can achieve. Don't men have enough? Do we really need to big them up?

OP posts:
deeahgwitch · 11/12/2025 22:15

I hate it.

Original poster
IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:18

Rachie1973 · 11/12/2025 22:12

In addition…..

’we’ve decided on gas and air only’.

No jury would convict. Or would they? I'm starting to worry!

OP posts:
QuickPeachPoet · 11/12/2025 22:27

It's cringy and Americanised but not a hill I'd die on. DH used to say 'we're expecting' as he is Mr formal.

Zov · 11/12/2025 22:28

IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:15

Interesting point re women saying it. Is it a form of internalised misogyny? An attempt to make the father feel more included? Pregnancy is an amazing thing which only women can achieve. Don't men have enough? Do we really need to big them up?

Show quote history

Oooh yeah it could be some kind of internalised misogyny... And maybe to make the father feel included... but yeah, we women have SO little that we can claim as our own FGS, why take this from us>?!!?? Angry

It's a bit like when the baby is born, all the relatives of the father of the baby start crowing about how the baby looks exactly like her/his father! Come on, it's a new born sproglet, it looks like NO-ONE (yet!) I don't know why they do this... Maybe it's a way to say 'it's definitely his, he is definitely the dad!!!' And a way to (try to) claim the baby as part of THEIR side of the family...

I'm rambling now, hopefully you get me! Grin

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/12/2025 22:36

It can be an acknowledgement that both lives are changing. That he's also giving up wine and soft cheese. That he's not just going to float through the next 18 years without any changes to his health/income/career. Obviously, a father has more choice whether to be affected than a mother does but a good partner wants to be involved.

Scorchio84 · 11/12/2025 22:38

Oh no I can't cope with this either, it's beyond cringey

Scorchio84 · 11/12/2025 22:40

QuickPeachPoet · 11/12/2025 22:27

It's cringy and Americanised but not a hill I'd die on. DH used to say 'we're expecting' as he is Mr formal.

That's not as bad because you're both expecting a baby but only you are pregnant, I'd still roll my eyes though 😄

Blarn · 11/12/2025 22:48

"We're vomiting into our hands when we smell something we don't like"
"We've got varicose veins on our genitals"
"We've been in full labour for a number of hours now and still aren't fully dilated"
Until a man says those things, 'we' are not in labour.

Original poster
IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:50

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/12/2025 22:36

It can be an acknowledgement that both lives are changing. That he's also giving up wine and soft cheese. That he's not just going to float through the next 18 years without any changes to his health/income/career. Obviously, a father has more choice whether to be affected than a mother does but a good partner wants to be involved.

Paternal involvement is really valuable and important. I think implying it is something it literally cannot be during pregnancy devalues that. Allows him to be a hanger-on. Is he really involved in that specific stage? Giving up wine and and soft cheese is already a stretch for a lot of the "we're pregnant" men. Most do nothing of the sort. Even if they did, that's hardly the biggest change of pregnancy!

OP posts:
Didimum · 11/12/2025 22:52

I think you should just let an individual couple phrase expecting a child in the way they want to.

anon4net · 11/12/2025 22:54

I have very few things that really annoy me, but a couple saying "we're pregnant" is one of them. Only the person who is actually pregnant is pregnant. Yes, they are both expecting a child of course. But both are not pregnant.

Original poster
IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:54

Didimum · 11/12/2025 22:52

I think you should just let an individual couple phrase expecting a child in the way they want to.

Of course. I can't stop them but I will continue to hate it!

OP posts:
IPM · 11/12/2025 22:59

YANBU, I read it on a thread earlier actually and I find it really jarring.

A male colleague once introduced me to his wife at a function and said "We're pregnant and due in early Spring".

I said "Oh how lovely, and have you decided on which one of you is going to give birth yet?"

His wife burst into fits of laughter 🤣

Original poster
IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 23:01

IPM · 11/12/2025 22:59

YANBU, I read it on a thread earlier actually and I find it really jarring.

A male colleague once introduced me to his wife at a function and said "We're pregnant and due in early Spring".

I said "Oh how lovely, and have you decided on which one of you is going to give birth yet?"

His wife burst into fits of laughter 🤣

I've yet to come across it in real life but when I do will absolutely follow your example. The only question to ask really!

OP posts:
Didimum · 11/12/2025 23:04

IngridBurger · 11/12/2025 22:54

Of course. I can't stop them but I will continue to hate it!

Show quote history

Never used that phrase myself of course. Saved all the glory for myself.

BeeHive909 · 11/12/2025 23:05

There’s nothing wrong with it sorry. I’ll be using the term because it’s true. Yes I’ll be carrying the baby and pushing it out but it takes 2 to make one. Both of us are taking the fertility drugs and the relevant scans. He’s also been the one injecting me and dealt with my hormones aswell as his own. Sorry but it’s our baby not just mine.

Dollymylove · 11/12/2025 23:05

Ugh I hate it as well. "We are going to have a new baby" is ok though, in my opinion 🥰

MarbleDrive · 11/12/2025 23:06

BeeHive909 · 11/12/2025 23:05

There’s nothing wrong with it sorry. I’ll be using the term because it’s true. Yes I’ll be carrying the baby and pushing it out but it takes 2 to make one. Both of us are taking the fertility drugs and the relevant scans. He’s also been the one injecting me and dealt with my hormones aswell as his own. Sorry but it’s our baby not just mine.

Yes, but he’s not pregnant, is he? 🤪

Wanderdust · 11/12/2025 23:06

Takes two to make a pregnancy so...!

IPM · 11/12/2025 23:07

BeeHive909 · 11/12/2025 23:05

There’s nothing wrong with it sorry. I’ll be using the term because it’s true. Yes I’ll be carrying the baby and pushing it out but it takes 2 to make one. Both of us are taking the fertility drugs and the relevant scans. He’s also been the one injecting me and dealt with my hormones aswell as his own. Sorry but it’s our baby not just mine.

It isn't true no matter how many times you say it 😳

bigboykitty · 11/12/2025 23:08

Am with you 100% @IngridBurger I'm on some FB cancer pages. I bring you "we're in remission". I really don't like it.