To be concerned about my dd being friends with this woman

[Holiday888]

My dd is only 22 year old and she’s become friends with a middle aged 29 year old lady. Aibu to be concerned due to the huge age gap and the fact this woman must have completely different life goals to my young daughter

He must be area manager by now

This has to be a joke? Nearly all of my friends are 8/9 years older than me?

They have a much lower life expectancy (maybe due to the deep fried mars bars! (Disclaimer: my dad was from Glasgow😁)

Completely hatstand 🤣

Good grief, when I was 15/16 I had a good friend in her 20’s and another in her 40’s! We met through dog training, so had plenty in common. I’m in my mid 40’s now and still friends with both of them, plus have a couple of friends in their 20’s and 30’s and one who is nearly 80! Stuff in common with all of them and nothing weird about it at all.

Oh dear...

The age gaps between my close friends and I are generally more than this..

8 years between me and my bestie, I do sometimes have to remind myself I experienced things she didn't because I am 8 years older, but very very rarely.

Theres 15 years the other way between me and another v close friend, meaning she was entering the partying years of teenagerhood when I was a toddler.

I don't have that many friends exactly my age, but I am also struggling to remember how old many of my friends are because I generally know that they're 'around my age' or 'older than me' or 'younger than me' and thats it, (yes I am shit at remembering birthdays too, they all know they have to remind me, and I'll forget their actual age).

Once you cease to be a child, it really really doesn't matter. Their age is not why we are friends, its how interesting they are, do we share common interests and ideals, thats whats important to me!

Oh I'd forgotten about Aidan 😆 😂

When I was 29, I was getting engaged to Dh who was 22. 🤣

In what fucking realm of reality is 29 middle aged?
Surely a 7 yr gap with friends is perfectly normal when you get into your twenties. I have a close friend who is 13yrs younger and we have been friends for 25yrs.

What an achievement. Although I can't say I've ever had a deep fried Mars bar. I think it was more of a fleeting "thing" that people have latched onto.

Well, 29 most definitely isn't middle-aged! Your dd is not your "young daughter"; she's in her early twenties and is an adult capable of deciding for herself who her friends are. Nothing you have said indicates anything off about the situation. I wonder if you're afraid they might be in a relationship. If that's it, your daughter's personal choices are still hers to make.

Be careful that your concern doesn't overstep and cause your daughter to step back from you. Tell her you love her and show respect for her decisions if you can.

A HUGE age gap. Really? You'd need the smelling salts if I admitted that one of my best friends and favourite people in the world is nearly 30 years older than me and old enough to be my mother.

I don’t think I’ve ever read such a judgmental post. I feel so sorry for your daughter 😢.

If ever a post needed a vote, it’s this one: you’re being 100% unreasonable. Hope that helps!

"Middle age" is not the middle of the entire lifespan. It's the middle of adulthood.

If adulthood spans from 20 to say 85, that's 65 years, so middle age begins around the late 40s if not later. A 29-year-old is not middle-aged.

It is bizarre to be concerned about a seven-year age gap. I have been friends with people 20-30 years older than I, in fact my elderly neighbour was 45 years older and we had a nice relationship till she died at age 92.

How very odd. 29 middle aged? Have you been transported here from the Medieval period? The average life expectancy is now about 82 in the UK.

😂

even by your logic 29 still isn’t middle aged. If the average age of death is 83 then middle aged is at least 40

Ah, that's why OP hasn't replied 😂

I think your daughter may be a tad bit more mature than you

I’m 30 and get on very well with 22 year olds at work. What a bizarre take on life.

Most of my friends are at least 7 years older than me. Non had a negative effect on me.

You have to be joking!! Once you get into the workplace you make friends with people of all ages and walks of life. It's very healthy and normal. You are very odd

Wtf 29 middle aged get a grip. Your daughter is an adult.

Same, except I was 28 and he was 21…
We are divorced now, but since I was the youngest woman he had ever been out with I’m confident age wasn’t the issue…