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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked my parents for a lift home?

620 replies

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 19:08

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

OP posts:
LemaxObsessive · 11/12/2025 00:58

@FruitbatdancerDon’t you think it’s time you grew up a bit?

LemaxObsessive · 11/12/2025 01:08

Take a career break and get a work from home job. Save what you would spend on buses and get a shared ownership property or a shared house closer to the hospital. Best of luck

BlondeBonBon · 11/12/2025 01:13

It’s fine to ask them!

OP is it worth looking for An apprenticeship, the pay will be basic initially but at least you’d get qualifications and experience, which could lead to a better income and more fulfilling job long term.

user1471557598 · 11/12/2025 01:28

And your situation is??

Mothership4two · 11/12/2025 02:07

Pricelessadvice · 10/12/2025 23:11

Gosh, this makes me so sad. My parents would drop everything to come and get me in that situation. Even if that meant getting out of bed to get me… and I’m 41!!

Yes, mine are the same and I am older than you.

I am a few years younger than OP's parents and my DS is the same age as her and also lives at home (very expensive to rent here and also in the South) and we wouldn't have thought twice about going. As the OP doesn't constantly ask for lifts, I don't understand them and think they are quite mean.

Next time she's asked to give one of them a lift, she should tell them to b*gger off and slide back under her electric blanket.

askmenothing · 11/12/2025 02:07

user2848502016 · 10/12/2025 19:28

My Dad would have come to get me, and I’m in my 40s and don’t live at home!

Same. He wouldn’t hesitate.

OP your parents aren’t very nice. Stop giving them lifts!

KaitlynFairchild · 11/12/2025 02:18

That's really mean of them.

Agree with other posters - stop giving them lifts, if the favours aren't returned.

HernanBrooke · 11/12/2025 02:26

She sounds a bit mean really.

Bournetilly · 11/12/2025 02:28

They are mean. I would absolutely pick my child up in this situation. Next time they want a lift say no, including telling your dad you are not taking him to golf.

Laura989 · 11/12/2025 02:30

My Mum would have come and got me at 25yrs old and now!

My husbands train was delayed the other night by over an hour and the weather was chucking it down. I had DC ready for bed but they ended up being late for their bedtime because we went to pick Daddy up from the station (all of us in our pj's!). It's a one off. They'll remember the kindness their parents demonstrated to each other.

Putting your big coat on and grabbing your car keys for a 15 min trip to pick up your daughter from a delayed bus - is hardly the ask of the century! If they really didn't want to - fine - but they didn't need to double down and be dicks about it as well - a simple, sorry love can't right now - would have sufficed.

Wellretired · 11/12/2025 02:41

I'm.with you, OP. It sounds as as if you work hard and try and take care of your family. Its not unreasonable to ask for the occassional lift. Maybe talk to your mum and say how upsetting it was to be called selfish. Not to mention talking to your brother, if he was in! You don't say what your job is, but do you have any skills you could use abroad? When I was your sge, I was in the Phippines teaching, a wonderful experience. I know your post isnt about this, but the picture you painted is so sad - poorly paid, hard work, long hours, nowhere to live on your own, family leaning on you, poor public transport, cold! Go on an adventure instead!

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/12/2025 02:45

I’d have picked you up and brought you a little cuppa as a treat.

Franjipanl8r · 11/12/2025 03:00

I’m early 40s and me and my parents would happily give each other lifts any time we had no other solution.

It goes both ways, make sure you remember this when your mum’s elderly and needs a lift somewhere!!

Billybagpuss · 11/12/2025 03:32

It’s interesting reading the range of replies from those who wouldn’t give lifts at all to those who’d go out in their pjs.

my parents were in the first camp largely because they enjoyed a drink, I’m in the second and have a much better relationship with my dc than my parents ever had with me.

@coldabdtired its worth checking out some parking apps where people and companies rent out part of their drive or business parking it’s much cheaper than standard council car parks. When dds were working in town they both did this. one was paying £50 a month to park in Asda which normally has a 2 hour limit. The other a similar price in a tyre fitters shop.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 11/12/2025 04:12

Jesus, i'm living with my parents at the minute, both disabled, mid 60s, but my Dad would come and get me if I was stuck, or they'd sort a lift and make sure I had a definite way of getting home if all the buses were cancelled.

We don't have ubers as we're so rural, we don't even have a taxi company in our town, but they would find someone to pick me up.

You sound like a lovely daughter OP, it's easy to say move out or don't give your parents lifts but it's hard to actually do it. I'd be really hurt too.

Hope you got home ok ❤

AlwaysTheRenegade · 11/12/2025 04:17

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/12/2025 02:45

I’d have picked you up and brought you a little cuppa as a treat.

I was thinking the same. If my parents couldn't have picked me up and I waited for the bus, I know I would have come home to a cup of tea, electric blanket on ect. I'm 36😂 Im so lucky because we really do love/ like and care about each other (most of the time) lol.

MsTiggy · 11/12/2025 04:29

I’d have picked up my daughter, or son. They would also pick me up if I needed it. We do things for each other.

sounds like it’s a one way street in your house OP.

MaggieBsBoat · 11/12/2025 04:38

Well no more lifts for them then!

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/12/2025 04:42

Well now you know that the next time they want picking up you reply "i have got my PJs on" even better if you quote the original message to you first.

MaggieBsBoat · 11/12/2025 04:43

My big takeaways

  • OP has parents who are mean and don’t deserve lifts.
  • @JollyPotter is contrary AF
ItsNotMeEither · 11/12/2025 04:55

OP, this is not what I’d consider a supportive family at all.

Honestly, at 25, use this as a sign to double down on any long term housing goals you have. Get saving if you’re not already, learn about investing, find other young investors on Instagram, follow some podcasts like the Get Rich Slow Club.

It is good that they’re letting you stay at home at least, as housing is tough. But if you set your mind to it, use this as a trade off for the savings. I would also say though, if you do save and succeed, they’re likely not to be supportive of this either. There will be jealousy from your brother and your parents will think about increasing your board, so keep your plans quiet.

Families are tricky, but use living there for the trade off that it is, so if that still means driving dad to golf and biting your tongue, so be it. But he determined to succeed and one day, give your own kids lifts. Wishing you all the best.

WhatMummyMakesSheEats · 11/12/2025 05:33

pollyglot · 10/12/2025 20:22

Why are you still living with and depending on your parents at 25?

Are you not a bit out of touch? Many 25 year olds can’t afford to move out because of the cost of everything right now! I certainly am making plans in my head now for when my 3 year old can’t move out and is here when she’s 25

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/12/2025 05:35

Wow - lacking in compassion there aren't they.

Next time they need a lift just say 'nah, I don't want to'. Ideally when they're standing in the freezing cold with a long wait to get home.

HangryBrickShark · 11/12/2025 06:07

My Dad would have picked me up anytime, he always promised me that. Sometimes my train would be cancelled so I'd get a train on another line after ringing Dad to see if he would mind picking me up from a different (local station) and dropping me off at my original station to pick up my car in the station carpark. He never complained, he loved me unconditionally and knew as a lone female who started worked at 7.30am in the morning I was tired and still had the horse to attend to after work.

He said I could ring him anytime day or night for a lift if I got into difficulties. I lived with my parents until I was in my early 40's and loved it. We were very close.

Comeonbabyblue · 11/12/2025 06:13

Thats poor of your family to be honest and your mum calling you selfish is a bit weird. You've asked for a lift, thats all. Just a no, sorry would have done theres no need for calling you selfish.
If asking for a lift isnt something you usually do (even if you did actually), mid December, cold, tired, been out the house since that early in the morning then I can't get my head around why there was no compassion to just say yes really. At any age id just want my kids home from work, especially if it's not something they usually ask for I'd definitely feel like they really needed it to be asking.

Hope you soon warmed up and slept well.

Start telling them no in return. Stop letting them walk all over you and ignore the absolute cranks on here calling you out.