We can’t help if it’s impossible to !!!

[Greyspiders]

Today we have had a massive argument with MIL. She has uninvited us from visiting on Boxing Day due to what she describes as our selfish and cruel behaviour towards her.

Dh was miles away at a hospital appointment with oldest dc. I was at home and then picking up youngest dc from school. MIL phoned me in a panic saying she couldn’t get hold of her son-I explained hes at the hospital and probably can’t answer / no signal? She wanted immediate help to get to the emergency vet and wanted dh , she said she couldn’t even lift the dog (and also she doesn’t drive) and SIL was at work and she refused to disturb her. I said how sorry I was and could I help by sending her the taxi money ? She said it’s impossible to get a taxi that will take a sick dog and that she can’t carry him anyway so what use was that. She said she will keep trying dh and I need to as well as he needed to come straight back. She then said I should be doing things like appointments it’s ’not a mans job’ !!!

I asked was there not some kind of emergency vet that could visit and again said if cost was an issue we would help. She hung up on me. Dh then started messaging as said she was calling him and he couldn’t answer and had messaged her saying he will
call when out of hospital but she kept calling and did I know if she was ok.

She’s now said that I’m stopping her ever having support from her son ?? Which isn’t true as he does a lot for her . She messaged ‘don’t bother visiting on Boxing Day I’ve had enough of you’ .

AIBU as how can she have a go at us for not helping when we were not able to do what she needed ? If he had been here he would have !!

Okay but what practically do you suggest you should have done?

Go straight there and lift the dog up and get to the vet

And expect the teachers to manage your child, and all the knock on effect for the didn’t give a shit about the children absolutely not ‘d’ grandma?! If you were the gma would you have the same narcissist me centric expectation?

OK, so who would have picked up OP's child from school?

MIL could have called her own daughter and asked her to leave work to take her dog to the vet but she refused to do this. She expected her son not to take his child to its hospital appointment and to take her dog to the vet instead.

MIL sounds like an entitled twat tbf and she hasn't even asked if her grandchild is OK.

She has also cut off her nose to spite her face as she won't see her own son or grandchildren over Christmas now as there is no way that they will be going without OP.

So you would abandon your child at school with noone to pick them up?

What if you couldnt physically lift the dog? what if the taxi refused to take a sick dog?

Why didnt MIL call her daughter who drives?

My mum would always put her animals’ welfare above that of her family.

Ignore, OP. If she wants to be on her own, that’s up to her.

I was actually going to ask if she is autistic given the pattern, my stepdaughter is very similar with regard to generally being ok but struggling with emergencies- and that would especially be the case with an animal needing emergency care.

Though the way she has acted since sounds like she's been hiding long term resentment for OP 'stealing away' her little boy.

Gosh, how old is she? I was berated by my MIL for going out for a friend's birthday and leaving poor dh looking after his children (about 1 and 6 at the time I think) with her help, but she was born in the 1920s! Not sure how to advise you on this but she sounds unreasonable and I would have found it difficult to remain polite!

I would certainly not be putting up with this. She can stuff her boxing day. Happy days.

Drop the rope completely and enjoy a peaceful Boxing Day. She is 100% your DH’s problem from
now on. Not sure I’d be answer her calls or messages for a good while.

Once again, no connection with what I’ve said. 🤷‍♀️

Why are you posting on the same thread using two different usernames? SixtyPlus and SixtySomething.

You aren't irrational. Don't let the big mouths bully you out of your view just because they get derisory when confronted by a different opinion.

Had op had a car, I would have felt exactly the same as you - and before I realised she had no car (mentioned in a later op post) I had said so, which set a handful of posters off like firecrackers.

As it turned out, I don't think in this instance she could have done much. But it's perfectly ok to have your opinion. It's allowed!

of course it’s allowed. As is the views of others that you are calling ”big mouths” for having their opinions? So are you saying you can have your opinion as can anyone else who agrees with you, but those that don’t are big mouths?..

I have defended mine; I haven't shouted anyone else's down that I am aware of.

There is a difference.

You said You aren't irrational. Don't let the big mouths bully you out of your view just because they get derisory when confronted by a different opinion.

what do you mean by “big mouths”? @Calliopespa ?

How old is she and is this behaviour normal for her?

That poster is also missing the point that MIL didn't want OP to come anyway, she wanted DH (and bugger her GC). She contacted OP because she couldn't get through to him.

I don't see how any poster could think MIL was reasonable. And I am an animal lover as, I'm sure, are lots of other posters on this thread.

But there's always one. - well, usually multiple posters - diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder on threads where the MIL/other person the OP doesn't like, despite it being fairly uncommon in the general population

Then you would be the cuntiests of cunts...

This is true but if someone wants to be one with me or my family then I will be a bigger one until they've shrivelled up like a cock in the snow

You need to improve your reading and comprehension skills. Although you're probably just on the wind up...

We don't know if it's won't drive or can't drive. Plenty of people can't drive for medical reasons. Others have never learnt. We don't know why neither drives.

In any case, even if the OP could drive, if they were a one-car family, the car was presumably at the hospital with the child and father.