To ask you honestly what are your first thoughts on seeing this?

[gemful]

NC’d for this

A couple. 2 dc (no childcare)
A brand new, new build house. Mortgaged.
Two brand new cars.
They don’t dress designer but the present well.
She has a few designer handbags.
gadgets are always good brands, latest I phones, shark hairdryers, robot hoover.
very organised and tidy home, both work full time in good jobs.
They do family outings every few weekends but not every weekend.
Honesty, what are your first thoughts?!

Is this you and your partner?

Ehh, people can be surprisingly jealous and sometimes they show it.

I was getting a coffee last week and the barista was telling me she had gone to a local restaurant recently. I said something like 'Oh I've not been there. Would love to go. So many places on my list but we've not been out that much lately'. She shot back 'well, you're lucky enough to own a house'. I think I mentioned literally a year ago that I was shit at DIY – it's hardly like I talk about owning a home.

I look a lot younger than I am and I work irregular hours. Which I think has given some people the impression that I must be absolutely loaded to have bought a house and be swanning about getting coffee.

The truth is, I'm 40, I saved for years, I'll be saving for many more years to do up my house, coffee is my one treat, I have been on holiday once in 15 years and my car is 17 years old.

To add: I do think money pressures and the cost of living are making people much more jealous of what they perceive others to have – and they don't realise appearances can be deceiving.

I would be interested to know how your neighbours know what brand of hairdryer you use. Mine don't know mine and they don't know we have a robot vac, how would they? Unless you walk around telling everyone you've just dried your hair with your shark and now your robo vac is shuffling around the designer handbags hoovering up your hair.

I have learned not to judge a book by it's cover, we earn well live in a detached 4 bed house. No designer handbags because they are not my thing. We have one car, not a cheap one but one of the cheaper on my street because we both WFH so don't need it much. But we drop a ton of money into savings for us and DS, pensions again us and DS and lots of holidays weekends away. But on the face of it we look like we don't have much spare cash as it's not flaunted.

I'm surprised by this. My family income puts me in the middle class bracket according to Google and I can't afford those kind of brands let alone 2 new cars.

It's not that I'm crap with money, we are very frugal, live in a cheap area and only go on one cheap UK holiday a year.

I would have put them at the lower end of the upper class bracket.

What thoughts am I meant to be having?

(Honestly) my first thoughts on this are:

1. You’ve made a list;
2. You seem not to understand how questions and/or making a statement works;
3. Why is this in AIBU?;
4. Why does the make of hairdryer matter but not the size or cost of house/ make of cars?;
5. This is clearly going to be a drip feed post in which you try and make some sort of point, either bragging (about yourself) or attacking (about money, immigration, benefits, a hated family member or friend, etc.); and,
6. I need to give Mumsnet a break for a bit.

Having money (which op doesn’t seem to, to any noticeable degree) doesn’t catapult you into the upper classes 😆

Yes, one main and a few weekends away with dh

I would assume you were up to the eyes in debt with the cars or leasing so good on you for not being.

But lots of people work hard and can’t afford what you have. Be humble and recognise where the comments are coming from, most people can’t afford brand new cars without leasing them.

Misread the OP, thought they didn't have children

So according to this thread the average working family in Britain have 2 brand new cars owned outright, a new house, designer handbags, clothes, all branded goods and family trips out every weekend and regular holidays! Who knew that the country’s working population was doing so well! Labour must be delighted.

I'd be more interested in their interests and hobbies or are they the kind of people who think a trip to Bicester is a cultural experience. What do they do that makes them happy and adds value to their lives. Most people find happiness through purpose - What's theirs?
Nothing you've written gives me any info about their values or integrity.

Sounds like a good hardworking family

Wouldn’t really register any thoughts. Sound boringly ordinary. I wouldn’t want to live on a new build estate myself, so I always feel a bit sorry for people who do, but I recognise that’s a me issue (I live in the arse end of nowhere with no neighbours in a 300 year old cold farmhouse 😂).

I would probably think keeping up with the Jones but different horses for different courses.

My childcare bill is £11k a year and that's with funding.

@gemful please share more details about the size, value and location of your house so we can make a more accurate judgement

Not that interested but would probably think, that's probably a lot of debt. Unless in very high flying jobs. We have more money than people might assume by our cars and clothes, it mostly goes on kid's hobbies and giving to charities including church. You can't really tell much from the outside.

I wouldn’t think anything of it. Brand new cars especially are no longer few and far between like they used to be due to the accessibility of finance, deals on EV’s etc that now make them an option for anyone with an income. If I see a brand new car now I might think “ooo nice car” but I don’t immediately think “rich” with the exception of someone pulling up in a Bugatti or a rolls Royce. I have a very average income, can’t afford my own home so by all accounts skint by some standards, and a few months ago was offered up to £50k in car finance. I got an £8k car instead but the point being I could be driving about in a brand new Range Rover if I wanted to, but it wouldn’t mean I was wealthy.

Yes interesting how everyone us responding as though this is the life/ expenditure of the vast majority of families in the UK.

Honestly I don’t brag, I don’t feel any of it is worth bragging about. My sister and friends will visit and have said things. My sister especially, she asks a lot of questions. I have argued with her on this. 😭 she asked me what I earn and nearly had a heart attack. I earn 62k. She said she assumed I was on half that. I try not to talk about money tbh.

Our neighbour once commented, in that way, we must be doing well when we bumped into each other food shopping in m&s. I said you must be too then as here you are as well!

Perhaps you are far more wealthy than the rest of your family and that's why they are making comments. Of course they shouldn't really but people do and hopefully they are lighthearted as opposed to spiteful.

Good location but not SE. Value is 500k. 5 bed semi.

Having seen updates, great that it's not all debt. But if you think you are an average family that's far off the mark, maybe just be mindful of that. I'd love my hard work to net a high income but sadly it's my husband's that does.

Boring. Not much of interest. Wouldn’t want to befriend