AIBU for feeling left out?

[CobhamMummy2008and2012]

Hello everyone I’ve been reading Mumsnet for years (literally since I was pregnant with DD1 in 2007!) but this is my very first time posting so please be kind…
One of my closest friends (known her since university) is getting married next year and last night the hen-do WhatsApp group popped up… except I’m not in it. It’s a spa weekend in the Cotswolds for 12 of her “favourite girls” and apparently I didn’t make the cut.
We’ve had playdates, been on holiday together, I hosted her baby shower, the whole lot. She’s already asked me to do a reading at the wedding so I thought we were properly close. I bumped into another friend this morning who’s going and she let slip it’s £450 each not including treatments.
I’m gutted and embarrassed and feel like I’ve been demoted to second-tier friend. DH says I’m overthinking it and these things are always about money/numbers but I can’t help feeling hurt.
AIBU to be this upset about a hen do? Or should I just smile and pretend I don’t know?
TIA and sorry for the essay on my first post!

Ouch 😫

I think you may need to look at your drinking. Your friend obviously cares about you.

Knowing my hubby, he'll tell me I can only have one G and T!

I wonder how differently the votes may go if the voters read the updates

Sorry, OP, but the way you are when you’ve had a drink is literally causing you to miss out on things. Perhaps consider this your wake-up call?

It’s not up to him, though, is it? It’s up to you.

Same! Maybe she’s hoping the non hen invite makes op wise up a bit!
@CobhamMummy2008and2012 what’s happened when you’ve been “wild” on booze?

Oh yeah, I told him where to go when he asked me not to drink on his birthday. But I know how he is.

You must be really bad when drunk if people aren’t inviting you places because of it. That would be a reality check for me.

I once danced on a table at a christmas party at my old job ha ha

To be honest I feel like your friend has probably done the right thing, when someone admits they can be a bit wild it means that to others you’re a nightmare to deal with when drunk and it’s not fun dealing with that , especially on a hen do that’s not a wild one.

Your friend should maybe have explained beforehand but is being honest with you when asked the reason.

I wonder whether it's because you sound like an absolute pain in the butt when inebriated...

And did you drink? Get “wild” and ruin his birthday? Surely you must recognize you’re bad when people who care about you are asking you not to drink?

I meant more that it’s your responsibility to know your limits and stick to them.

It also sounds like you are proud of yourself for being a drunken embarrassment. You really shouldn't be.

Yes I drank and well he didn't say anything to me about it, He just acted like "That's Louise" kinda thing.

He’s maybe trying to help protect you from making a fool of yourself. If you yourself can see your a wild one on alcohol then think how others see it. He doesn’t want you to be the talk of the event and possibly ruin it for the bride.

So you got drunk and wild? How bad was your behaviour?

Despite you clearly being a loose cannon when drunk, I’d of hoped a close friend would have discussed snubbing me to my face rather than let me find out through word of mouth. That is not how friends behave?! Especially not ones that want readings at their wedding!

Are you not invited to the evening party either?

I think I’d be rethinking this friendship, it’s not as tight as you think.

I assume I'm invited to go to the evening party. They haven't said I'm not.

Sounds like you have a problem, OP. What do you plan to do to address it?

I think if I was such a liability when drunk that a friend close enough to want me to do a reading at her wedding didn't want me at her hen, I'd be seriously thinking about whether I have a bit of a problem with alcohol...

I could enroll in Dry January. My mum took part in that to stop her drinking

You don’t enroll in that so much as you just do it. Though I have read an all or nothing approach rather than moderation throughout the year is a sign of a drink problem.

Your husband has an issue with your behaviour when you drink.

A friend, who considers you close enough to do a reading at her wedding, has excluded you from her hen do because of your drinking.

Can you accept that your drinking is a problem, is having a negative impact on those closest to you and that it really needs to change?