Page 7 | I’m so so upset about this!

BauhausOfEliott · 07/12/2025 12:41

I also buy expensive shampoo, but spending £25 on shampoo doesn’t mean I’ve got £500 to piss away on a loan that’s highly unlikely to get paid back at the most costly time of the year.

Similarly, we’ve also just bought a new sofa and booked a holiday of a lifetime kind of trip for next year. We’ve had to save up for those things, and it’s precisely because we’ve just paid for them that we now don’t have £500 spare to chuck away.

If my sister asked me for £500 today, I couldn’t give it to her. I literally don’t have that amount of money in my bank account this month. Are people supposed to refrain from spending large sums of money just on the off-chance that someone might ask them for a loan the next day?

In other news: Googling the cost of shampoo and reading people’s paperwork you found in a drawer is shitty behaviour.

Christmastimeandwine · 07/12/2025 12:43

Penny4thoughts1 · 07/12/2025 10:39

I am struggling money wise after a tough few years (or 5 years really) but I was never well off. A few weeks ago I asked my dsis if I could borrow 500quid to sort Christmas and I would pay her back. She said she didn’t have it. I thought fair enough she must have had some crazy expenses as she has two dc etc. but her and he4 do both work v good jobs. Anyway I’ve made do.
cut to this weekend…I’m so upset. She asked me if I would babysit for them for the night. (Paid, as she knows I’m broke) after her dc had gone to bed I had a bath. I was running the bath and found he4 shampoos, brands I have never really seen or used. I googled them. 25quid a bottle!!!
then to top it off I was looking for a match to light a candle as I had tidied the kitchen this morning and in the drawer was a quote for a new car being ordered for January. 500 quid deposit and cash payment due of 25k.
she did have the money she just didn’t want to lend!? Why didn’t she just say? They are due home in an hour and I just want to cry. The live in a brand new house! Furniture is new… everything is perfect and beautiful. I’m just so heartbroken that she couldn’t share 500 with her only sister, they are clearly way more well off than I even thought! Should I say anything! I wasn’t snooping by the way.

Surely this has got to be a joke! If you’re not joking and you’re actually that entitled have a long hard look at yourself and DO BETTER

TesChique · 07/12/2025 12:44

Has she lent cash to you in the past that shes never seen again by any chahce?

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 07/12/2025 12:44

I don’t have a sister but DH does an if he lent her money I would not be pleased. Neither a borrower or a lender be

JLou08 · 07/12/2025 12:46

I'd be upset if my family accepted payment for looking after their nieces and nephews. I'd be upset if the googled how much I spent on toiletries. I'd be absolutely fuming if they asked why I didn't lend them money when I'm buying a new car and nice shampoo.
Your sister isn't the one in the wrong here.

rookiemere · 07/12/2025 12:48

Quite often on here it’s advised never to lend money to family or friends unless you can afford to lose it. Here it seems rather likely that OP has no real intention of paying anything back.

I have expensive shampoo at the minute. It’s my treat that I funded by selling stuff on Vinted as I am not working at the moment due to demanding elderly DPs. I would be disgusted if one of my own relatives begrudged me that.

OP you could offer to do more paid babysitting if you need extra cash, that way it’s a win win for everyone. Try and keep your paws out of their drawers though in future, how much they have is absolutely none of your business.

Livpool · 07/12/2025 12:50

I feel for you OP but you are being very entitled towards your sister and her money. Googling the price of her toiletries is extremely weird. And paying £500 for her car probably means she can’t lend it to you.

You can ask to borrow money but always be gracious if the person says no

21secondstopassthemic · 07/12/2025 12:50

Omg stop being a bottom-feeder and get your own money! It is none of your business whatsoever how they choose to spend their money. I had a similar comment from a friend who owed me money who was refusing to pay me back. They remarked that I didn't need the money as I had been on holiday twice that year. Stop being so entitled, nobody owes you a penny. She probably said she didn't have it as she felt awkward and knew you probably wouldn't pay her back. Do your DC truly need £500 worth of presents? Let's face it, you were also going through her drawers as well weren't you?

LemonDrizzleKay · 07/12/2025 12:52

You were snooping,. Who looks up how much a shampoo costs? She has the right to luxury shampoo, a nice car and home. She paid you for the babysitting. My sis never gave me a penny for all the babysitting I did for her and neither did I expect it. If she pays you you should have offered to do more babysitting to the tune of the £500.

LadyKenya · 07/12/2025 12:54

Advocodo · 07/12/2025 12:35

My 1st reaction was why are you wanting to borrow £500 for Xmas? If you have to borrow then you can’t afford it! Xmas can be done on the cheap. Don’t get sucked into all the commercialises!!

This. I would not lend that amount of money, for a family member to do Christmas, no way.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/12/2025 12:57

You’re getting a hard time here, OP, but it does seem mean to me. In such circs I’m sure I’d have managed to oblige a sibling who was broke - that is, unless I knew she was telling me she was super-skint while spending on takeaways/coffees/ having her nails done, etc.

Betterbelieveit · 07/12/2025 13:01

WHY would you even think to Google someone else's household items? If it's in a hotel, I would understand. Seems off. Kindly OP, adjust your mindset and you'll find you're alright.

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 07/12/2025 13:05

We need a ChatGPT emoji.

Catpiece · 07/12/2025 13:12

Just because she’s got the money doesn’t mean you can have it.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 07/12/2025 13:21

She did you a favour. You should not be borrowing money for Christmas, only for essentials.

StephensLass1977 · 07/12/2025 13:26

My sister is very well off, but I've never asked her for a penny (I'm far less well off). She got into the right industry at exactly the right time in the 90s as it massively took off, and I was a little less lucky. She's funny with lending money so I've never asked. Well I did ask once in the 90s and she outright refused and said I was terrible with money so, no. (I wasn't, I just didn't have any as I was a single parent doing my best).

I have an aunt who is a barrister and who has a mansion in Surrey - she is worth absolutely millions - and she still used to make my mother pay for all the phone calls they had (back when you used the landlines and it cost a fair bit at certain times of the day). Some people are just like that.

winter8090 · 07/12/2025 13:27

She was doing you a favour by not letting you get into debt for a Xmas you can’t afford.

Firefumes · 07/12/2025 13:28

Maybe she’s sick of giving you money though? You’ve said yourself that you have struggled financially for at least 5 years - if not longer.

at some point you’ve got to crawl out of that hole and not be reliant on others.

I personally don’t budget to lend anyone £500, it’s a totally unexpected expense and I would be minded to say no regardless of my circumstances. If they’ve put down a £25k deposit, what makes you think they have £500 spare? That £25k is going to be earmarked if it’s not already been sent to fund the car, they might not be able to make another £500 in the short time they’re due to get the car and they likely don’t trust that you’ll pay the funds back in time.

Also sorry but if you’re poor, spending £500 that you don’t have on Christmas is a stupid idea. Just have a low key, basic Christmas. You really don’t need to get into debt over it. Focus your energy on improving your finances so you can have a different Christmas next year.

Frenchfrychic · 07/12/2025 13:33

I can’t believe you’re going through her stuff, reading her mail and googling how much things cost. She trusted you in her home. She likely doesn’t have it if they’ve stretched themselves, but she doesn’t need to change her lifestyle and buy cheaper stuff so she can give you her money, even if she did have it you’re not entitled to her or her husbands money.

your behaviour is abhorrent.

Springbaby2023 · 07/12/2025 13:33

You don’t need to spend £500 at Christmas
You definitely don’t need to spend £500 you don’t have at christmas
Your sister doesn’t owe you, or anyone, and explanation on what she does with her money

You are being very unreasonable.

We got a new car this year. Holidays booked for next year. Kids won’t be going without at Christmas. Yet I don’t have just £500 in my account spare to give to someone. I’ve afforded those things because I save gradually and account for every penny - something I suggest you start doing.

Evergreen21 · 07/12/2025 13:37

You were snooping though. She's made sure to pay you for babysitting and maybe that is her way of helping you out and vice versa. I wouldn't dream of taking money off my sister for babysitting my nephews and tbh she wouldn't ask or take it.

It's the use of the word share that hints at you being entitled. Her money is her own. Tbh I would give the money if any if my siblings asked but I know it would take a lot for them to ask. If any of them were bad with money then I'd only give it if I could afford to write it off.

If you resent what your sister has take time to look inward and see what it is about your life that you could change.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 07/12/2025 13:38

There was no need to go in her drawers. You didn’t need to ‘look for matches’ in drawers at all. The fact you saw enough of the letter to know the dates / cost of the car means you definitely read private mail. You should be ashamed. They didn’t want to lend ur to you because they had it tied up in other things OR they didn’t want to risk never seeing it again OR they feel it’s not on them to loan you money. This is why money lending or even asking for it damages relationships.

Daygloboo · 07/12/2025 13:38

Penny4thoughts1 · 07/12/2025 10:39

I am struggling money wise after a tough few years (or 5 years really) but I was never well off. A few weeks ago I asked my dsis if I could borrow 500quid to sort Christmas and I would pay her back. She said she didn’t have it. I thought fair enough she must have had some crazy expenses as she has two dc etc. but her and he4 do both work v good jobs. Anyway I’ve made do.
cut to this weekend…I’m so upset. She asked me if I would babysit for them for the night. (Paid, as she knows I’m broke) after her dc had gone to bed I had a bath. I was running the bath and found he4 shampoos, brands I have never really seen or used. I googled them. 25quid a bottle!!!
then to top it off I was looking for a match to light a candle as I had tidied the kitchen this morning and in the drawer was a quote for a new car being ordered for January. 500 quid deposit and cash payment due of 25k.
she did have the money she just didn’t want to lend!? Why didn’t she just say? They are due home in an hour and I just want to cry. The live in a brand new house! Furniture is new… everything is perfect and beautiful. I’m just so heartbroken that she couldn’t share 500 with her only sister, they are clearly way more well off than I even thought! Should I say anything! I wasn’t snooping by the way.

I disagree wirh most on here. She doesnt have to help you but it would have been nice. Relationahips are a two way street. Maybe you should be unavailable next time she needs a babysitter. If you are badly organised ans bad with money though then thats a different matter and she might have a point. Bur if you are a supportive decent person who is gwnyinwly struggling then it's a bit aad if your own sistwr canr bung yoy a few quid for a ahort period

Lurkingandlearning · 07/12/2025 13:42

I wasn’t snooping by the way.

Googling the price of someone’s belongings just to find out how much they spend is snooping. Reading someone’s mail is big time snooping. How are you not embarrassed to admit you do that?

briq · 07/12/2025 13:44

What could you possibly say? Accuse her of not wanting to lend you the money? Do you want to damage your relationship with your sister, because that's all you'd achieve by doing that. Either she honestly didn't have the money to spare when you asked or she didn't feel comfortable loaning it to you.

You say you've made do, so even if she had the money to loan, she hasn't done it knowing you're unable to feed yourself, for instance. There's nothing to be gained by confronting her about what she does with her own money.

She'll also likely assume you were snooping. So no, don't say anything.