Told colleague I'm 16 weeks pregnant and asked to keep it quiet.

[Lemonsqueez]

I work in a consultancy in a male dominated industry. I told my line manager at 15 weeks pregnant as I started feeling really ill and having complications. My workload is too high for me to keep up but as I've been put forward for a promotion which will only happen in March I'm really stressed about telling work. This promotion is based on my last year of work, not going into a new role. Anyway I told my project director who is not my line manager but who I work closest with and she told me her advice was to hold off as long as reasonably possible to tell anyone as she thinks I'll get sidelined and miss opportunities. After she said this I cried at my desk and felt so anxious. I have to travel this week with the team and since this is my second pregnancy I'm really showing, I don't know what to do. Am I being unreasonable thinking she was out of line with her comment?

So then what wxactly is your concern as i don’t see one? And why are your crying at your desk about a fact said to you by another colleague ?

You should know there’s a world of difference between the law and reality. I think your colleague was right in her advice, but your timing is going to render her advice untenable.

Wow, she was trying to help you, not discriminating against you. It sounds like you will get the promotion, and I understand you’re feeling really sensitive with the pregnancy and exhaustion. But you’ll be burning bridges if you carry on with this attitude to this woman -she didn’t make the corporate world, and while there’s a lot of how it should be, only an idiot doesn’t recognise there’s also how it is and you need to recognise that in your actions.

I was a consultant for a long time, promoted in pregnancy and very unwell with each pregnancy, I do know this environment and I know how hard it is to try and work through a pregnancy when you feel terrible all the time and you’re losing weight daily.

Sounds like she was looking out for you tbh. I dont think youre being unreasonable though. I would follow her advice because pregnancy discrimination is real and more common than people think.

Pregnant Then Screwed estimate there are 74k women each year who lose their jobs because of pregnancy/ maternity related discrimination. That doesn’t include the ones not promoted, sidelined, put on the mummy track.

The law is there to protect us but lots of employers still don’t play fair. It shouldn’t happen - but it does, regularly.