Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

704 replies

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:26

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

OP posts:
Lordofmyflies · 06/12/2025 18:53

YANBU. Based on his income, his lack of savings and the work needing to be done on the family home, he sounds incredibly stupid and selfish.

ReightYorkshire · 06/12/2025 18:54

Zippedydodah · 06/12/2025 18:45

But he doesn’t have the money, he’s putting it on a credit card and certainly won’t be able to easily pay it off!

Show quote history

I've 'eard about these new-fangled card things. Sounds bit like Tally Man. I'd rather sell the kids for Medical Experiments than get involved with such like.

oviraptor21 · 06/12/2025 18:54

The context was important and should have been in your OP.

DarkForces · 06/12/2025 18:54

We've never spent close to that on a whole family holiday so I wouldn't be happy about it tbh. Your finances aren't a million miles away from ours and £7k is a huge chunk. Is there a cheaper way to do it even if it's longer travel and staying out of town etc?

Ophy83 · 06/12/2025 18:55

If he could afford it I would have said fine, but he can't afford it. Solo holidays should come after family holidays and home maintenance in the priority order.

Also why is it a once in a lifetime opportunity? World cups happen every 4 years.

MincePudding · 06/12/2025 18:55

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:34

Whilst we don’t have joint finances we have joint savings goals. For example, new carpets, get the garden done which now we won’t be able to afford to do because he’s getting himself in to debt and will spent the next however long paying it off. We also won’t be able to afford a family holiday for the next couple of years because I’m not prepared to pay for all of us. He doesn’t have £7k or anywhere close in savings so it will be going on a credit card

That's an entirely different AIBU to what you've posted so I suggest you take this one down amd repost because it will hugely affect the response you get.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 06/12/2025 18:56

If it's Scotland he's going for, please let him go because it will be,(at the very least) another 28 years to qualify (a generation)😂
Ps
I'm a Scot

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 18:56

I’d be ok with him missing a 2 yr old’s birthday.

I wouldn’t be at all ok with the impact of this on the family finances.

I also wouldn’t be ok with just being told this is happening, and that all childcare and parenting was now my responsibility for that time with no consultation.

tinyspiny · 06/12/2025 18:57

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:34

Whilst we don’t have joint finances we have joint savings goals. For example, new carpets, get the garden done which now we won’t be able to afford to do because he’s getting himself in to debt and will spent the next however long paying it off. We also won’t be able to afford a family holiday for the next couple of years because I’m not prepared to pay for all of us. He doesn’t have £7k or anywhere close in savings so it will be going on a credit card

After this update then no id be furious . If he had the money then thats one thing but going to watch any sport is not something you get into debt for .

WearyAuldWumman · 06/12/2025 18:57

showyourquality · 06/12/2025 18:46

If he is Scottish then it probably is a once in a lifetime thing, English then I would be pushing for him to save for the next time.
can he get a second job or work overtime so he isn’t taking on credit card debt. I wouldn’t be thrilled about the debt part of this.

Sod that. He can do the same as some of the heidbangers that went to Argentina - get a job on a ship and then hitchhike the rest of the way.

He might not get back home for a few years, but it sounds as if he's no loss.

WearyAuldWumman · 06/12/2025 18:58

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 06/12/2025 18:56

If it's Scotland he's going for, please let him go because it will be,(at the very least) another 28 years to qualify (a generation)😂
Ps
I'm a Scot

Naw, naw, naw.

He doesn't get to put the family finances into penury just to enjoy the camaraderie of the Tartan Army.

TidyCyan · 06/12/2025 18:59

Does he actually have a guarantee of a ticket or is this a hypothetical? I know someone (England though) who has been attending X number of friendlies over years to rack up credits to be able to try for World Cup tickets.

Also - it's not for 7 months. Surely he can save hard and pay off most of it before he even goes? He is being U if he thinks he can pay for nothing for a couple of years because he is still clearing the credit card, supposedly.

beAsensible1 · 06/12/2025 18:59

If finances are separate then it’s not really up to you as long as he can keep up with his household obligations.

you can celebrate Dds birthday late. It’s not like she can read the date.

Original poster
Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:59

Ophy83 · 06/12/2025 18:55

If he could afford it I would have said fine, but he can't afford it. Solo holidays should come after family holidays and home maintenance in the priority order.

Also why is it a once in a lifetime opportunity? World cups happen every 4 years.

Scotland are shit and haven’t qualified in something like 23 years

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 06/12/2025 18:59

Depends, if you can afford it then no I wouldn’t mind.
If you can’t and it means no other holidays/delaying buying something else you need more, yes I would mind

berlinbaby2025 · 06/12/2025 19:00

SusanChurchouse · 06/12/2025 18:51

What I was coming on to say. England reliably qualify for major tournaments, so it’s hardly once in a lifetime unless it was tickets for the final and England were in it.

Show quote history

This was my first thought too and this is coming from someone who hardly knows anything about football! So no, this definitely isn’t once in a lifetime and missing your daughter’s birthday, getting into debt for it, savings goals missed (that benefit the family) and no family holidays for a couple of years because of this trip is a shitty cocktail. I would be furious in OP’s shoes.

TheAutumnCrow · 06/12/2025 19:00

Bruisername · 06/12/2025 18:52

Those saying it will be once in a lifetime if it’s Scotland - not with the new expanded format!

And God, didn’t that draw go on ..?

JaninaDuszejko · 06/12/2025 19:00

The number one question is, is he Scottish?

Maiyakat · 06/12/2025 19:01

Presuming it's Scotland he's going to watch why does he need to go for 10 nights when the matches in Boston are 5 days apart?

beAsensible1 · 06/12/2025 19:01

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:34

Whilst we don’t have joint finances we have joint savings goals. For example, new carpets, get the garden done which now we won’t be able to afford to do because he’s getting himself in to debt and will spent the next however long paying it off. We also won’t be able to afford a family holiday for the next couple of years because I’m not prepared to pay for all of us. He doesn’t have £7k or anywhere close in savings so it will be going on a credit card

Ahh. Well then it’s stupid obviously. He should just wait until it’s somewhere closer!

MiddleAgedDread · 06/12/2025 19:01

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:34

Whilst we don’t have joint finances we have joint savings goals. For example, new carpets, get the garden done which now we won’t be able to afford to do because he’s getting himself in to debt and will spent the next however long paying it off. We also won’t be able to afford a family holiday for the next couple of years because I’m not prepared to pay for all of us. He doesn’t have £7k or anywhere close in savings so it will be going on a credit card

Ok with that info then I would object! From your first post I was going to say it’s his money and a 2yr old doesn’t know what day it is so celebrate when he gets back. But if he doesn’t actually have the money and it impacts family plans you’re right to be pissed off, I’m guessing he’s Scottish so it genuinely is a once in a lifetime opportunity? ;)

NaranjaDreams · 06/12/2025 19:03

canklesmctacotits · 06/12/2025 18:36

I can’t comprehend separate finance questions, but I do want to say that this actually isn’t once in a lifetime. It literally comes around every four years and the next one will be in Spain.

Also, I’m on the east coast: nobody knows yet which games are going to be where. There’s every chance it could be Uruguay vs Uzbekistan (or whatever, I haven’t analyzed the draw carefully) and I certainly wouldn’t be happy to pay that much out of a family pot (??) for that.

The single most important point is that it’s proving to be harder to get tickets for these games than for Taylor swift. It’s beyond a joke. I’d be amazed if he actually manages to secure two lots of two tickets.

The schedule came out 2 hours ago. There are a few gaps, but most of it is there.

I suppose it's once in a lifetime in that it's in the US, and that it's probably going to be a bizarre tournament, if yesterday's draw is anything to go by!

I'll agree that it's absolutely bizarre, though, and I struggle with separate finances, and these don't seem that separate.

Has he said he'll stop contributing towards the family pot for carpets/garden/family holidays in order to afford this? Have you got set pots for those things? It doesn't seem like they're that separate if you don't. You are still reliant on each other's spending, you just don't have access to each other's money.

LondonLady1980 · 06/12/2025 19:03

The financial side of it and missing the birthday wouldn't be an issue.

However, when there is child involved I don’t think either parent has the right to just announce they’re going abroad for 10 days. That should be a joint discussion.

For a once in a lifetime experience I would never stop my DH from going, but I certainly wouldn’t be impressed if he just declared he was going and that I had to solo-parent for 10 days.

Fdsew · 06/12/2025 19:04

His family and their comfort is not his priority.
Now you know.
Don't have more children with this loser and give your future some thought.
He's a manchild.
Choose better.
You are your child deserve better.

Ophy83 · 06/12/2025 19:04

Rigaboni · 06/12/2025 18:59

Scotland are shit and haven’t qualified in something like 23 years

Show quote history

I should have appreciated that as I watched the qualifiers with DH who is half Scottish and his best friend who is fully Scottish!

Is there any way of making it cheaper and maybe turning it into a holiday for all of you? Otherwise it would still (more regretfully) be a no for me.