Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

[Rigaboni]

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

This was very relevant context!

Fine with me if it’s all his own cash. Can celebrate and make a fuss of DD2 before and after - she won’t remember - but he will remember this as a special
trip.

Just seen about the debt. I assumed you were both high earners and it would be from savings. In your circumstances - absolutely not!

We are fortunate to have savings in the bank and spend a decent amount on travel. Even then this would be considered a verrry nice treat/splurge. Never get into debt for a holiday unless your child is getting married or similar. What absolute madness!

I disagree with @Nonameagain31 based on OP's updates. A two year old's birthday is not exactly memorable for the child. And holiday is what it is as long as it doesn't impact on childcare (which given the DC is 1 I presume not).
It's something I would love to do but I wouldn't go into debt for it.

However, the word "tolerate" really grates on me because it has connotations of you being his boss.

In this case then no, I wouldn’t be happy. Him getting himself into debt which will impact you all (no family holiday, no home improvements) wouldn’t be fair. It’d be entirely different if he already had the money in savings.

But he doesn’t have the money, he’s putting it on a credit card and certainly won’t be able to easily pay it off!

Oh no just read the other updates. Tell him to jog on and watch it on the telly like everyone else.

Then makes it completely unreasonable in my book as his choice will have a big impact on your life too

If he supports Scotland, let him go. Because it may literally be a once in a lifetime opportunity. If he supports England he is being very selfish.

If he is Scottish then it probably is a once in a lifetime thing, English then I would be pushing for him to save for the next time.
can he get a second job or work overtime so he isn’t taking on credit card debt. I wouldn’t be thrilled about the debt part of this.

No, I wouldn’t be happy unless I was lottery rich

if I still had a mortgage it would be a big FUCK NO from me

I rather suspect that similar ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunities may crop up with tedious regularity.

But I guess separate finances mean that you don’t get a vote?

In that case he shouldn’t even be considering going.

He does not earn enough to spend 7k on a holiday

I also cant imagine chosing to go on holiday instead of seeing my baby on her birthday, I love it, it's the anniversary of when I met him/her. She's only had 1 birthday before, if she was 35 ok but it's so special at this age.

I would be extremely missed off if that meant the kids missing a few years of holidays too!

That’s does change things a bit. Those salaries are nowhere near enough to justify such a trip, not even close.

I would start a discussion about whether there are any ways to bring the cost down and whether you could go as a family and have that be your holiday.

£38K after tax is about £31K.

To spend £7K of that (nearly a quarter) on one holiday that does not involve your partner or child, and will put you into debt, is a twat move.

I think based on your update that he’s a stupid idiot 😂
If finances were all in good order then I would have been fine about this, dh is going on an expensive holiday next year as his best friend is turning 50 and they’re going to do something together that they’ve always wanted to do. Sounds fabulous and also nothing I’m interested in doing, we have separate savings (aswell as joint where we both plan and decide together what the money is going towards but our individual ones are for whatever the hell we want to spend them on).
Missing a 2 year olds birthday - probably one of the better ones to not be around for in that they won’t know or remember. Unless you bring it up forever more of course!
But your dh doesn’t have the money and it will mean no family holiday which is a big no no for us. Separate gallivanting trips are all well and good as long as there are funds for joint family holidays, otherwise they’re not happening.
And going into debt to go and watch football is just silly.

YABU and I LOATHE football, so it isn't that I have the perspective of a fan. I just know how important it is for some people. Also £7k is not really a lot of money for a once in a lifetime trip. As for the 2nd birthday, she's 2! She won't remember.

Absolutely not. He doesn't have the money saved so putting it on a credit card is ridiculous.

What I was coming on to say. England reliably qualify for major tournaments, so it’s hardly once in a lifetime unless it was tickets for the final and England were in it.

In this economy? Are you incredibly wealthy?

I'd never get over what else we could've done with that money, so no. If you can afford it and it's chump change, then sure whatever I guess...

Is one of the games he is going to see Scotland vs Brazil in Miami?

In that case, my answer is 'Hell, no.'

ETA And I don't care if he is going to see Scotland. If he wants the experience, I can sing play Flower of Scotland on the accordion to him for nothing...

Those saying it will be once in a lifetime if it’s Scotland - not with the new expanded format!