Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

[Rigaboni]

DP declared he is travelling to the World Cup and will be staying in Boston for 10 nights, to watch two games. He will miss DDs 2nd birthday. It will cost £4k for flights and hotels, perhaps around £2k spending money and maybe around £1k for tickets.

We have separate finances, I earn a bit more. We pay a percentage of our salary in to a joint account to cover joint bills.

How would you feel about this?

YABU = it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and you can always earn more money
YANBU = I wouldn’t tolerate him treating himself to a £7k solo holiday

I earn several times more than him and even then I would never spend 7K on a solo holiday.
thats like 20% of his annual gross salary, an insane amount to spend on a solo holiday when you have family AND he already booked without consulting you?

id be livid

If its not going to adversely affect you or your families living standards, i wouldnt have a problem. Its a once in a lifetime trip.
My husband is going out to watch the Ashes in Australia. Similar cost. He works so hard to support me and my daughter, Im happy for him to go

What?

He's going to have to use the money he would ordinarily contribute to the house and savings to pay off the credit card. It's taken him 9 months to put aside £2k from his earnings. There will now be no joint funds for a family holiday for several years. It's not "his" money. Your point is irrelevant.

Well I’m going nowhere near the stadia - that’s his problem.

I would go to the Miami match lovely place for a holiday that time of year beautiful beaches!

You wouldn't trust him??? Christ!

What an odd reply.

Just because I disagree with you doesn't make my point "irrelevant".

Rude!

Please be wise and DO NOT EVER have a shared credit card or debt with him. Incase this is a sign of things to come and u need to separate. Such reckless financial behaviour on his part. Keep your name off everything.
I am right mumsnetters in thinking that individual debt is not shared because u r married. I'm sure I am but just checking ☺️

Please tell us more about how you haven’t read any of the thread.

Wandering away from your child's birthday says way more than sacrificing carpets and holidays. He walking away from acknowledging that 2 years ago your body went through this enormous change to produce this child you both created and then did the miraculous job of giving birth. That's not a marriage. That's the disrespect and disdain I don't think you or your child ( are there other children?) should have to put up with.

He's going to go it seems, you might or might not go with him, hopefully if you do, have a fun time celebrating the divorce.

Sorry but I haven't got enough negative adjectives for this OTT expenditure over a game of football which, quite frankly will most likely be over and done with disappointingly in the first couple of games?! 🙄
The prices you have quoted seem astronomical to me...in particular £2,000 for spending money? I realise prices will be at a premium but WTAF is he going to be buying apart from food and drink, maybe the odd souvenir?! 😱
He needs a big shot of reality and not knowing his age it's difficult to say much about 'growing up' and learning the value of money, especially already having a child and with the economy in the state it's in, nothing is secure or should be taken for granted any more and to get into this sort of debt in this financial climate to my mind is sheer unadulterated selfishness and more than a little crazy! 😪

After tax you only earn around £5k more than him. Why aren’t you going exactly halves on all the shared bills?

America is an absolute rip off now and everytime he goes out to eat and has a few drinks he'll spend a fortune when they add all the tax and huge compulsory tips on and he's going to sit there paying those prices for 10 days for the sake of two games of football! Crazy!

Not quite sure how it’s costing him £7k?? Unless he’s going for the full month or whatever. Guessing as he’s flying to Boston he’s a Scotland fan , so they won’t be long in the tournament! (Sorry - hubby also Scotland fan and he has measured his expectation - and certainly isn’t paying £7k)

Post says nothing about a credit card or getting in debt 🧐

Post says nothing about getting in debt do you expect people to read the whole thread now before they comment it’s ridiculous my comment stands for the original post .

@Iziz if a thread is a few pages long you should at least read OP’s updates, further clarification (it’s easy to do)

I’d be p’eed off about the assumption that I was happy for him to go away and leave me with DD regardless of the cost.

If he has booked flights already he is going and any attempt to persuade him otherwise will be rebuffed. Presumably he is doing this with a gang of mates and they would treat him with derision if he pulled out, “you’re so pussy whipped”, etc.
but spending thousands on a non-essential on a credit card is totally nuts. The rates are extortionate and had he stuck the money into an Isa and invested in a market tracker instead the opportunity cost 10 years down the road is huge.
He needs to man up, admit he’s made a mistake and find a bunch of his friends (of which there will be several) and enjoy watching the world cup in the pub.
Several of my friends go to world cups, Lions tours to NZ, SA, etc. but they are all bankers/lawyers in their late 40’s/50s and earning mid six figures where £10k on a two week jolly is chump change.
He got caught up in the excitement and needs to sober up and wake up to the fact that he is ruining your future on a piss up.

You wouldn't want the cc debt though. She needs to make sure she holds firm and doesn't pay a penny of on that card.

I think if he's prioritised this over the 3 of you going on a family holiday for 2 years that is pretty selfish. If he's already booked the flights without asking you that is not collaborative - he doesn't give you any opportunity to put forward your point of view. He's behaving like he's still single. Going away for the odd weekend with mates is one thing but an expensive long-haul trip which he's borrowing money for is another. I hope you have someone nice like your parents or friends to celebrate your little girl's birthday together.

Ten nights abroad for two games he could just as well watch on TV?

Agree @SweetnsourNZ, shouldn’t be spending unless he has the money already!

If my husband announced this, I’d just tell him I’m buying a 7k handbag - he went to NY for the weekend so I bought myself a Cartier watch. It’s only fair!

ps - 10 days is too much, I’d die of lonely if my husband left me that long!

You can't disagree with a fact. He has spent the savings money before it was even earned. It is not his.

It is irrelevant to waffle on about "Surely his money is after savings and he can spend that on what he wants" because he hasn't spent the money "after savings".

This place is hard work sometimes. Hiding the thread now to avoid repetition of nonsense.