To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

Ok, thanks

Or just several of us think this behaviour is as ridiculous as it is because it is? Make a better argument than troll hunting which is also against the rules

That was my thinking too. A far better option to have sent the evidence directly to the wife. The other one was too knee jerk and not well thought out. Postman could even be a mate of his (I live in a small community where the postie is familiar with a lot of us).

I see it more as women looking out for the wife, not as protecting the man. The wife has been given no power in this situation whereas had she been informed directly, with proof, she would have had the power.

are you sure it’s his actual address? What if that’s a lie and some poor guy gets in a lot of trouble for nothing 🫠

Yes I acknowledge that.

The level of personal attacks, vitriol and over investment is off the scale though. We're all strangers. The guy and his wife and supposedly children are also all strangers. It's possible to tell me I've dropped a clanger and why without being so vitriolic.

I don't mean you Bunny btw.

I think it's bloody brilliant!

It isn't "victim blaming". Getting flirted with and a picture of a knob does not make her a "victim" for goodness sake. The wife who is married to this creep is far more (or potentially the woman who is married to a completely innocent man who has had his name, photo, details ect used) and any of their children if they exist. OP doesn't seem to give a stuff about her and has just reveled in petty revenge regardless of the misery she will have caused this poor woman. There where so many other ways she could have gone about this. Saying that what she has done was awful to the other woman doesn't take anything away from what the man has done, but the specific question asked was was she right to send that postcard.

Probably best to just meet people in real
life. I thought OLD was famous for this kind of thing? Even though it’s wrong to send unsolicited pics do you really want to be dealing with this again with someone else? Date the old fashioned way.

Play with feathers and you may get your ass tickled as the saying goes.

Probably goes for the pair of you

The picture was a criminal offence.

If he sends dodgy pictures to people he needs to accept there may be some risk of retaliation. Dignified blocking is going far too easy on him.

I actually think it's a very clear and calm way of calling him out. If his wife finds it then he will need to come clean about what he did. If he finds it he'll be terrified of any more coming and her finding them. That might make him think twice about doing what he did again. Obviously it's awful when your husband is cheating but it's the cheating that's bad, not the finding out.

Well it’s done now. Hopefully the best outcome is either wife divorces him or it’s scared the living daylights out of him and he won’t do it again. One way or the other if he’s online dating while married someone is going to recognise him.

Plot twist: the postie is the one stealing the ID to pretend to be this rich bloke and send his nob to people

She could and should have blocked him before that point, when the messages went into territory she wasn't comfortable with and which showed they weren't on the same page

Curate your own experience. Use the block button that's there for a reason

The bloke was a wanker to send the picture but OP should have blocked him before then

@BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind I tried to swing the conversation around and thought he'd realise I was uncomfortable and stop. Now I realise that's who he is.

Oh and for everyone saying the OP is a stalker with all the info she's accumulated on him. I could do that super easily in my job too. And I'm not an international spy or Detective Inspector either 🤣

Don't bother trying to swing things when clearly you're on different pages though

Well when you make a thread because you want a round of applause for something you've sent to someone's wife and kids who are total strangers and say you don't give a toss what effect it has you don't exactly come across as wanting a wise telling off, especially when all you've done is ignored every single post about the upset and damage you could cause. You're too busy getting upset at the word unhinged even though you're posting an objectively unhinged thing.

I'm sure many of us could, we just don't bother doing it to total strangers on the internet unless we were gonna do something productive with it.

I never asked for a round of applause.

You engaged with literally no constructive feedback about how you've gone about this and you had already done it when you posted so you weren't here to ask if you were unreasonable, you posted to show off what you thought was funny and was actually a nasty act right before Christmas.
Unless you actually feel like finally engaging with why with all your research you couldn't just message him on another platform / email / message the wife on Facebook/ basically anything other than sending a postcard?

In your opinion. Sorry, didn’t realise you were there.

Agree
It's common sense when OLD to check backgrounds
Do those people calling OP a stalker have issue with Clares law