To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

He said he was single. RTFT and stop lying!

This is awful, your literally posting a bomb into the middle of this woman’s life weeks before Christmas.

Then she found out he was married, presumably she was OK with the dick pics until she went on Rightmove and 192.

Would pancake Tuesday be a better time? Or Valentine's Day?

The whole Moonpig idea is just wrong and leaves you open to harassment charges.

It's almost as if the same person is just posting the same old shite on a variety of user names...

I think you're probably right. Very similar posts and remarks.

I’m very good at blocking men who turn out to be liars without incriminating myself by sending malicious post.

A horrible thing to do. Could hurt innocent people, including children. You are both in the wrong.

It’s not possible to change usernames on a thread. It’s entirely possible that several different people think your actions are unreasonable.

I’m pretty sure that someone with well-honed detective skills, used to stalking and trawling the internet, would have several email addresses and online aliases up her sleeve for that very purpose. Funny how OP’s big defender has sprung up suddenly after she’s had her arse handed to her by the majority of people replying…

My ex partner of 18 years cheated on me with our children's friend's mum, and she lives in our road. Other neighbours knew, as he was sneaking over there at night/ when I was at work and they had seen them.I wish someone had sent me/him a postcard. I was very suspicious but took him months to finally admit it.. In the meantime I thought I was going mad. If a neighbour had sent a postcard, he would have had to explain it, his very few friends would never send a postcard "as a joke" so that wouldn't work. The look on his face would have me told me that it was true. He would have felt some shame if he realised others had been watching and judging him. I would have felt some solidarity. A mean who is willing to cheat and sent dick pics to other women definitely deserves to be called out! Equally, a letter to me would have been fine too. Block and forget about it? Is that what you would like another woman to do if it was YOUR husband sending these kind of messages to other women. You would rather love in blissful false ignorance? I'd also report to police, if they take nay notice of dick pics I don't know. These kind if men need to be called out on their disgusting behaviour.

Ive been defending her all day too.

She is the victim of a crime and could well be suffering trauma.

She's been called out for waiting too long to report, and also for doing it before Christmas. Posters have made up a whole imaginary back story for his family that they seem compelled to defend even though noone knows if they exist. They have not read what has happened and inferred their own meaning. They have pored over every word whilst condemning the op for checking his address matched his name online. They've even suggested she's the one that broke the law. At no point have these apologists blamed the man for commiting the illegal act of sending an unsolicited dick pic.

And they've done all this so they don't have to blame a man for commiting an illegal act and can victim blame the woman instead.

That's far more pathetic than sending a postcard to a man that says 'keep it in your pants'.

I can't believe what you've written, referring to another poster as 'woman' and calling them a bitch? I don't think he's her man either. You sound like a bad 70s cop show. I'm also sure this is against the talk guidelines.

I hope you reported him for the dick pics.
That would be quite alarming for him and his wife. Now that woukd make me leave my DH.

Can't believe you are getting so much shit for your post - he pretended he was single. He said he has not kids. Yet, everyone is coming at you???? WTAF - misogyny from.other women!!! Stop making excuses for men's poor behaviour.

Classic MN lunacy to scream ‘misogyny’ at anyone who dares to call out another woman’s shitty behaviour. Yes, the man is a disgrace, but the OP is also completely in the wrong. Both can be true at the same time.

OP, his wife really doesn't deserve to find out this way just before Christmas. And as others have said, you have no idea what's going on in her life. This communication could easily send her to a dark place. Did you send it Saturday to arrive Monday? If so, you can still do the decent thing by telling him that it's coming so he can intercept it. Just say you got angry. Everyone can understand that. And then find a different way to deal with this. Very similar things have happened to me in the past, and I well remember the feelings of injustice and anger. So I get it, but this is not the way.

Quite!

Exactly. No-one is going to be upset by a postcard in itself. The acts it will reveal will cause a different reaction. And that's entirely due to the man carrying them out. Short of knocking on the door and telling the woman, which could be dangerous and lead to confrontation or violence, and if there were any children, could be far more upsetting, a postcard is the most sisterly thing the OP could have done. Bravo.

😬

Irony.