To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

But I'd be surprised if the police would take an interest in a postcard that just said "keep your pants on Pete and keep your pictures to yourself". There's no threat.

So I really don't think the police would go as far as searching the OP's digital footprint.

Victims of genuine stalking have had appeals for police help dismissed on more evidence than this!

It sounds like it took her about 5 minutes, and she didn't do it with the intention of sending the postcard as she didn't find out he was married until the search.

That’s not the point I am making. If people want him done as a sex offender, he probably won’t be because op didn’t report it. She went out of her way to send what she did. So he will just as easily walk away in all likelihood.

Surely it’s the “husband” who has hurt his family?

Yes, I agree with that. Sorry, there was talk of the wife going to the police simply because of the postcard, with people saying it was threatening and malicious.

I do think if they investigated the man for sending the dick pic OP's search history and posts in here would undermine her case.

I apologise for misunderstanding.

Man is disgusting.

block , 100% . Police - I support.

Setting off a bomb/ humiliating his wife is such a public way- awful behaviour on your part OP.

Husband will probably get a kick out of it and think you fancy him even more.

I’ve never said any of those things about you.

Yes that’s what I was trying to say. As awful as it sounds. That’s the reality of the CPS and prosecuting a sex offender. Thank you for clarifying.

Differentforgirls · Today 15:05So you'd be ok with your husband sending pictures of his penis to other women, but not ok with the other women objecting to it?That's sad.

(It's a response to my post, to be clear. Anyone can go back and check. Don't know why the format is messed up but there it is. Just unroll, it's right there.)

It's ok. Like I said, I've had this conversation numerous times and people always accuse me of this bullshit. The fact that they then deny it, like here, is proof they know it's bullshit. I get it, some people want cheaters to be punished at all costs and get angry when wives don't feel the same, but ultimately the only marriage you get to make decisions about is your own.

I disagree with your last sentence. If a married man sent me a picture of his penis, then I think the wife should know. All hypothetical because it’s never happened to me as I’m married myself so would never be in that position.

So instead of scaring the crap out of her why aren't you encouraging her to report it now?

Op report it now. The police won't care that it was 3 weeks ago.

Tell your friends and your GP and asked to be referred to talking therapy so you can get the support a victim needs.

I'm so sorry this happened to you

The police won't ask anything, because you're bloody deranged.

You want to waste police time because a man sent you a picture you didn't like? Get a grip.

"Should know" is not the same as "should insert myself into this stranger's life, lob a bomb and just blame her if she doesn't consent because she 'should' consent".

I don't consent to your interference. I won't thank you. I don't care if you think I "should", you are not the boss of me and I don't need to justify myself. If you really truly think it's the right thing to do, you won't get pissed off when I tell you this and don't respond the way you think I "should" because virtue is its own reward, right?

I don't want my husband cheating, obviously, but I also don't want complete strangers making decisions about my life, when they know nothing about me, and then getting shitty when I won't polish their halo. If you can make the decision to lob the bomb when you don't know me, I can make the decision that it wasn't the right thing for me when I know that much of you.

It's illegal to send an unsolicited graphic photo.

It was unsolicited.

Being married does not protect you from sex offenders.

This man isn't just a cheater, he's a sex offender.

A "picture she didn't like"??

It was of his dick!!!

Yes, the wife should know. But some ways of letting her know are more sensitive/tactful than others.

Why were you messaging him and arranging to meet, if you didn’t want to meet him? This is someone you’ve never met and don’t really know? How do you have his home address? Sending him a card to call him out seems a little immature. You should have just blocked and ignored him.

Telling the truth????????

Obviously. Accountability where its due. He's betrayed his family who he was supposed to be loyal to. He is ultimately responsible for his actions.

But that doesn't mean an OW then has free moral rein to relay that message in a very cruel way that could further hurt the wife and potential kids in the process. He's opened his family up to that risk absolutely, but op has only thought about her own want for vengeance here and hasn't given a hoot as to how that is going to be received or by who.

I think you need to RTFT.

I like this idea, think it's inspired!

I actually think it's a much more reasonable way to tell her than a direct message etc.

Thems the breaks when you send phallus photos to random women whilst married. She could have been a serial killing jealous stalker for all he knew.

This 👆 was meant for @Lavender14 🫶.