To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

I’m not saying it isn’t. But I am saying that sending it via Moonpig doesn’t make it an anonymous as people might think.

whatever anyone replies op thinks she did the right thing and makes her so great /clever sending that

and thinks all of us saying should have found another way to inform the wife are wrong

https://help.moonpig.com/en/articles/318978-someone-sent-me-a-card-which-is-offensive-or-malicious

I'm not claiming to be great or clever. Just angry.

No. I’m saying that if the police decide that they do want to follow it up then they can find out straight from Moonpig who sent it. I’m not saying that the police will care.

However I do know someone who was sent an anonymous Moonpig card calling them a bitch and the police looked into and warned off the person who sent it.

What risks with strangers do you imagine that I’ve taken?

I imagine Moonpig have taken the OPs money and tossed the card in the bin, so it's probably all moot anyway.

Hmmm. You appear to be implying that as you're a total stranger, I don't know enough about you to answer personal questions.

And you'd be right. So if you, in turn, do not know a person - because she is a total stranger, like you are to me - then you should not assume that you know the answer to the personal question of whether she'd appreciate you inserting yourself unbidden into her life to lob a bomb like this.

Why

men cheat and lie

as do woman

you barely know this man so why so over involved

If this happens I'll show them his messages.

I thought you were reporting them anyway?

I wasn’t. I was talking about you being furious that someone told you that your husband had sent pictures of his penis to them.

Who would want a flasher to come running to them?

Exactly it's insane. And rejected? How??

I am concerned the police will ask Why I didn't report immediately as this was three weeks ago.

Is the method not the issue here rather than the message?? I can totally see the other pps point of being furious if you had children in the house who could pick that up and read it about their dad. It's one thing to get that information about your husband or partner and how you'd feel about that individually- but to potentially bring children into it in that way is an awful thing to do and I would be furious about that as well.

That's a completely different statement to you asking what risks I think you've taken with strangers. And my theoretical response to how I'd react to a woman I didn't know sending horrid anonymous messages is a completely different thing to me being ok with men sending unwanted dick pics. It's ok, I've had this conversation many times on here and people always say that because I don't want it, I must lurve cheating, unwanted dick pics and all that. No intelligent or reasonable person could actually believe that, so I assume it's just overriding emotion. Cheating is an emotive topic.

AFAIK, my husband has never cheated or sent dick pics. So I hope that clears that up. And I do not want any total strangers lobbing bombs at me and then blaming me because I don't consent and they think I should. I don't actually care if this makes me weak or stupid or whatever. I don't owe anyone else an explanation. It's my life, it's my decision, I know my reasons, strangers who do not know me and won't be there to support me should not make the decision for me.

If he's done something illegal, tell the police. I'll find out in due course without being hijacked and weaponised.

There's nothing on the postcard that would be actionable. The man told the OP that he was not married, as all cheating men do, so no wife - no evidence for the potential of malicious intent.

Have you never watched any police documentaries where it's obvious that the murder suspect is guilty but the CPS (crown prosecution service) won't sanction charges because of a lack of evidence?

You're naive and being dramatic.

Well they might, I guess, but you could say it shook you and it took you some time to gather your courage. That's probably true. It's not a crime to wait a while to report an incident, although it might make it harder to investigate.

The issue is, the police WILL ask those questions because that’s is what the CPS would do. Can we get him done for cyber flashing? Well op waited. Op then involved herself in his life. She sent distressing communications and his wife is traumatised etc. CPS, this could be someone who was played/dumped is out for revenge.

I have been through the prosecution process when it was an extremely serious offence (prison threshold) and I still went through that crap of having every interaction checked. Not that I did but, “just in case.” As it would undermine the case.

Malicious communications is such an easy to prosecute offence now as it’s in black and white. It’s an easy win. Op, you shouldn’t have done it. It has given him a clear defence.

Are you ok with them?

The problem is that this could hurt the wrong people.
Yes, he is clearly a tw*t but his wife and potential children don’t deserve to find out that way.
Especially just before Christmas.
Too late now I guess.

Well if the police don’t care it doesn’t really matter does it? They’re just as likely to warn the husband to lay off the cyber-flashing so 🤷‍♀️

Not really. I’ve been through a real life court case which resulted in prison. All of my communication was analysed. So yes, we will know from op’s posts. There was malicious intent.

Yeah embarrassing his wife isn’t exactly helping her.

I think it’s unkind. The postman won’t give a crap but the wife will. It will hurt her, who knows who’ll pick that post card up. Don’t shame her to get one up on him.

But googling to the extent the OP has, and with the sole intention of sending malicious post that she knows the wife will likely receive is far from sensible

Its batshit bonkers