To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

It’s not a crime to send someone a postcard. The police will not knock at OPs door.

OP didn’t send a threatening message saying she was going to burn their house down.

Hopefully it will teach him that he could have put his wife and kids in danger though because God knows who else he’s sending these messages too.

You’re talking about detailing the thread and then writing long posts bringing in all sorts of random stuff. Red flags and warning signs are quite different than ‘instinctively knowing someone is a rapist’. I can’t tell if you’re genuinely uncertain or being obtuse.

But you’re right that this has gone way OT now and you’re trying to be insulting so I don’t think there’s much more to say.

You wouldn’t want to know if your DH was shagging/trying to shag other women??

You may want to live life with your head buried in the sand but most people would want to know.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than the person who I love, who I’m having unprotected sex with, who I’m spending my money and time on - to be out going behind my back, lying to me and trying to shag other women but on top of that for others to know and not have the decency to give me a heads up.

I don’t care how much the truth hurts, I would always take the truth over lies and being manipulated any day.

You literally tried derailing the thread by asking me if I was a particular poster - which had nothing to do with the thread.

When I said no that can’t be me because of X, Y, Z you carried it on.

You’ve obviously got some sort of issue with the poster you think I am or something. I’m not sure what your problem is but good luck to you.

But you’re being disingenuous. It’s not a postcard from a seaside holiday saying wish you were here, is it? It’s an anonymous, malicious communication.

Yes, because clearly if an anonymous postcard shows up at your door it's to be trusted 100%.

But your post is all about what YOU would do. You’re not the wife, though. She might have a different world view from you, or she might not be in a position to tackle this issue right now, or you might not react the way you think you would, when love and history and family are involved. I’ve heard many women say that they stayed with a cheating spouse when they thought it was the last thing they would do. It’s so easy to say that you would blow up a lifetime together and give up
your entire future when you haven’t faced that choice. Words are cheap.

You’re exactly who I was thinking of and you’ve literally said the same things as before.

Now give it a rest!

The police won't want to know.

Some years back, I got an anonymous sleazy note from 'a neighbour' posted through my front door. The desk sergeant wasn't even sympathetic. (My then fiancé accompanied me to the station.)

I'm now fairly certain that I know the culprit was. I avoid him.

OP said she knows there’s a wife. Not sure about kids though.

Ah well. His problem now, he shouldn't have been fucking about.

Bit like the husband 😂

All joking aside I can actually see (now I think about it) that it may not seem legit and may just seem creepy so ok fair point

I guess it’s been delivered by now.

Ermm ok?!

Thats odd considering you’ve asked me things and I’ve said the opposite - so how can I be saying the exact same things.
Make it make sense.

You seem to have a bit of an obsession with me and I am not sure why.

Perhaps you should get a life and stop trying to derail the thread as you are the one asking me the questions.
Strange woman.

But there’s no threat and so there’s no crime.

It doesn’t sound like it even says anything nasty in it.

The police are not going to knock on someone’s door for every postcard, letter, text message or email that someone receives to say their DH has been cheating.

Even actual threats rarely result in police knocking at someone’s door unfortunately.

I daresay someone has already pointed this out, but.. ....

Revenge is a dish best served cold because "it's more satisfying and effective to enact retribution after a period of time, rather than impulsively in the heat of the moment, allowing for cool-headed planning and catching the target off guard"

Where I live mail goes in a box, so it depends when you check it. Without knowing her work schedule, I would try to consider doing this when someone would usually have the day off for example.

Well, I don’t know the law on this and am not a lawyer, but I’ve heard that intent matters. And this is clearly malicious intent, a communication sent without an envelope to a marital home right before Christmas, by someone who could reasonably have expected to know the distress it could cause. Probably won’t happen, but if the recipient wanted to make an issue of it, I’m sure a good lawyer would have plenty to work with.

I don't think it needs to be threatening to be a malicious communication. I think it has to be grossly offensive and indecent, or intended to cause anxiety and distress, which doesn't have to mean an actual threat.

I highly doubt what OP sent would qualify and I'd imagine an unsolicited, unwanted dick pic is more likely to. But IANAL.

It could be classed as libel depending on the language used and could be defamation.

Quick google shows this.

Obviously highly unlikely this would go be acted on and taken to court by this man - but consider how it might go further with a public figure - but putting comments as such on a card for anyone to read does have a potential downside.

@Starconundrum many of the respondents are our menz gang of sad sack losers here to goad and attempt to upset women. They get tingles from the attention. Pity them.

Your posts just get funnier!

Try reading about it yourself. It won't seem so funny then.

But sending dick pics is actually illegal and so I don’t think OPs message to stop sending them would be an issue.

If the police got involved, they would be more interested in his actions because it’s a clear criminal offence.

No one would pay thousands of pounds for a solicitor because someone sent them a message asking them/their DH to stop sending photo of their genitals.
Especially when the sender of the photos would get in a lot more trouble.

the word here is false, according to OP she has proof so then it is not false not sure it consists of damaging truthful statements.

Libel is a form of defamation involving false, damaging statements published in a
permanent form, like writing, print, or broadcast (TV/radio/online), that harms someone's reputation, distinguishing it from slander