Page 22 | To send this to a married man

IslaSkywalker · 2025-12-06T10:54:08+00:00

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say. A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type. He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked. I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat. Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

Legolava · 06/12/2025 18:01

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 06/12/2025 17:57

"she shouldn't be made to feel unsafe in her own home. "

It will be her HUSBAND who has made her feel unsafe. If she goes to the police about something like this, claiming "malicious communications", she is no better than him.

Talk about shooting the messenger. It's disgusting, and intended to stop women telling other women what shitty CRIMINAL men are doing.

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So you are justifying another woman making another woman feel threatened in her own home because of the actions of a man. Wow.

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:02

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 17:57

I think he sent the link with his house just to show off. He didn't think it through.

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Yeah didn't think through that you'd spend your free time locating the street address, looking up his company on companies house so you can match his name to his address, and the designing a card to send because WHO WOULD DO THAT

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:05

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 06/12/2025 17:57

"she shouldn't be made to feel unsafe in her own home. "

It will be her HUSBAND who has made her feel unsafe. If she goes to the police about something like this, claiming "malicious communications", she is no better than him.

Talk about shooting the messenger. It's disgusting, and intended to stop women telling other women what shitty CRIMINAL men are doing.

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No actually because he didn't give out his address to anyone. While what he did was wrong, you seem to believe any of OPs harassing, boundary crossing actions are justified even if they hurt innocent people. If the gripe is on his criminal behaviour, as it should be, then you pursue that through the right channels, not by crossing boundaries yourself and making others feel uncomfortable and creeped out. His wife is not a criminal,.nor is she the victim of his criminal behaviour, I don't know why you're cheering on her being dragged into it in this way.

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 18:06

BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 06/12/2025 16:11

Where on earth did I say op should ignore it?

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I don’t know you were one of them but plenty of people were saying “why didn’t you just block and ignore”

sprigatito · 06/12/2025 18:06

I say brava OP; why are women always expected to take the high road? I think it will give him a really nasty moment if he finds it first - and if his wife does, I think she’ll have more important things on her mind than the mode of delivery.

Changeforthis79 · 06/12/2025 18:08

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 11:05

I am going to report the pictures to the police.

Police? For a dick pic? This is mad😅

Original poster

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 18:08

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:02

Yeah didn't think through that you'd spend your free time locating the street address, looking up his company on companies house so you can match his name to his address, and the designing a card to send because WHO WOULD DO THAT

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The street address is on the bloody link along with the house name, postcode, value and photos. He just wanted to show off.

I didn't waste time "designing" a card, just a bog standard one.

OP posts:

GagMeWithASpoon · 06/12/2025 18:08

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:01

I'm sorry but a card which is explicitly from someone who knows him from online and not IRL sent to a private home address is bloody alarming! Maybe not to you but if be creeped out especially as she hasn't even had the courtesy to put her name and return address to at least try and seem normal and not like a stalker sending anonymous notes. She said herself she's chosen to send it on a postcard so others can see. If her desired outcome is that this outs him as sending his dick to women online it's also letting the wife know that one of those woman is invested enough to track down their address.

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You’re right, I wouldn’t be alarmed. I’d be fucking fuming… with HIM!!

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:08

SoftBalletShoes · 06/12/2025 18:00

And also because OP has NO IDEA of the reality of his wife's life. Maybe her mum just died. Maybe she deals with depression. Maybe she has cancer. Maybe she can't cope with this news just now but would be able to in the future. News like the OP just bombed her with can send people into serious mental-health spirals.

OP should have had a massive go at the perp, not done this to his wife and family. If you want to tell the wife, make sure she can take it first. If you don't know anything about her, stay out of it - or make her husband fess up to her. At least let her have some privacy and dignity while she finds out the truth of who she's married to.

And even so, that makes a massive assumption that she even wants to know. Some people might suspect but would rather be left in blissful ignorance.

All told, I know that we all want people to get what they deserve, but it's usually best if people stay out of other people's marriages.

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All of this but people will just say "well her husband chose to cheat on someone who's mum just died" etc, for some reason they think her finding out through a childish gag makes them a girls girl 🫠

SoftBalletShoes · 06/12/2025 18:08

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 06/12/2025 17:04

Surely men don’t think this??!

if someone does this without your consent or permission then it’s illegal. disgusting and illegal. It’s cyber flashing. It is definitely reportable to the police.

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I'm just surmising. I really do think that they think their dicks send us into peals of ecstasy and so we want to see the size.

It's so incredibly common that more than half of all men must be sex criminals, if dick pics are the criteria. I haven't lived permanently in the UK for 18 years, although have visited for months at a time to take care of my late parents. Is it a crime to send a dick pic? I didn't know that. In the US, it's quite common for men to send them during online dating chat. I use it as information to know which men to block.

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:09

GagMeWithASpoon · 06/12/2025 18:08

You’re right, I wouldn’t be alarmed. I’d be fucking fuming… with HIM!!

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You can be angry and still concerned that some loon has the address that you live with your kids and be worried that they might send another or escalate to get a reaction. I don't see why you think it's one or the other?

Audiprettier · 06/12/2025 18:09

ThatCyanCat · 06/12/2025 16:24

Why couldn't OP have just handed all the evidence to the police? It's a crime. They'll investigate and the wife will find out in due course and it'll be horrible but at least it'll be transparent, provable, and she won't have to worry if it's true or not (I wouldn't believe a nasty anonymous note, tbh) or feel like she's been used in some big performative gesture and someone's watching for her reaction.

That gets him caught, gets the wife aware and hopefully gets the legal consequences he deserves. Why is a note like this, which probably won't be believed anyway, necessary on top of that? If OP truly doesn't care about the effect on the family (pull the other one), what was the point? What does this achieve that an investigation wouldn't?

Hit a nerve there did she!?!
😂😂😂😂😂

Calm yourself

LittlePurpleTeapot · 06/12/2025 18:10

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/12/2025 12:39

Its absolutely not internalised misogyny. It’s pointing out that the remedy for the poor behaviour rebounds on the person meting out the supposed “justice”.

Have you never heard the phrase “revenge is a dish best served cold?” That phrase encapsulates why behaviour like this is a bad idea. Because it serves to underline how much power you are giving to the person who has wronged you.

Behaving like a vengeful diva never righted any feminist wrongs.

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What about looking out for each other as women and letting each other know?

His wife deserves to know who she is married to, surely?

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 06/12/2025 18:11

SoftBalletShoes · 06/12/2025 18:08

I'm just surmising. I really do think that they think their dicks send us into peals of ecstasy and so we want to see the size.

It's so incredibly common that more than half of all men must be sex criminals, if dick pics are the criteria. I haven't lived permanently in the UK for 18 years, although have visited for months at a time to take care of my late parents. Is it a crime to send a dick pic? I didn't know that. In the US, it's quite common for men to send them during online dating chat. I use it as information to know which men to block.

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Yes it’s illegal if it’s unsolicited.

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:11

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Original poster

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 18:12

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You clearly know better than me ... No matching of pictures needed sorry. There's an address linked to a house and a person who says he lives there. 192 confirmed his assertion. Your argument is stupid and not even about the core issue. You're too focused on trying to catch me out instead of what the issue is - a cheater.

OP posts:

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:13

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 18:08

The street address is on the bloody link along with the house name, postcode, value and photos. He just wanted to show off.

I didn't waste time "designing" a card, just a bog standard one.

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Come on now, you had to pick what you were putting, Moonpig don't have a template that says stop sending your dick to strangers

BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 06/12/2025 18:14

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 18:06

I don’t know you were one of them but plenty of people were saying “why didn’t you just block and ignore”

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Well it was me you quoted, and I absolutely didn't say that.

If op wanted the wife to know then she could have messaged her and given the wife a chance to know who she is and ask questions, or op could have reported the unsolicited pictures to the police and they could have dealt with it.

Op took a route that amused her, but will leave the wife even more hurt and confused.

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 18:14

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:09

You can be angry and still concerned that some loon has the address that you live with your kids and be worried that they might send another or escalate to get a reaction. I don't see why you think it's one or the other?

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I suppose you might think they were a loon if you convinced yourself they were a craaazy stalker making things up but otherwise it’s not particularly threatening. Upsetting yes, but that’s not the same thing.

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/12/2025 18:15

LittlePurpleTeapot · 06/12/2025 18:10

What about looking out for each other as women and letting each other know?

His wife deserves to know who she is married to, surely?

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His wife does deserve to know who she’s married to, but not via a postcard from a stranger that she picks up on the doormat!

I’ve said this before but if the OP really cared about the wife’s feelings she would be contacting her privately as opposed to ambushing her in a way which seems designed to publicly humiliate and alarm her.

SoftBalletShoes · 06/12/2025 18:15

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:02

Yeah didn't think through that you'd spend your free time locating the street address, looking up his company on companies house so you can match his name to his address, and the designing a card to send because WHO WOULD DO THAT

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Seriously! He definitely messed with the wrong woman in OP. But that's a risk these cheaters take, I guess. I wouldn't have handled it like OP, but tbf it's a risk he took.

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 18:16

BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 06/12/2025 18:14

Well it was me you quoted, and I absolutely didn't say that.

If op wanted the wife to know then she could have messaged her and given the wife a chance to know who she is and ask questions, or op could have reported the unsolicited pictures to the police and they could have dealt with it.

Op took a route that amused her, but will leave the wife even more hurt and confused.

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Ok

I think the wife would be hurt and confused either way though

Catpuss66 · 06/12/2025 18:16

Legolava · 06/12/2025 17:43

All of this. Someone who is genuinely concerned about a sex offence does not go out of their way to insert themselves into the lives of the offender in this risky way. For all of you laughing, the CPS stress test is a real thing. They will look at op’s actions too. She hasn’t painted herself in glory and in all likelihood may have committed an offence herself.

If she was really that bothered and wanted a sex offender held to account, she’d have gone to the police and let them deal with it.

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What offence has she committed? if confronted she can prove what he sent. He has committed an offence hopefully she will report it to the police. Maybe if women wouldn’t support this kind of abuse then maybe men would think twice about doing it in the first place.

Genericfestiveusername · 06/12/2025 18:18

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 18:14

I suppose you might think they were a loon if you convinced yourself they were a craaazy stalker making things up but otherwise it’s not particularly threatening. Upsetting yes, but that’s not the same thing.

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And this is why sending anonymous mail to strangers is a terrible idea. As someone who has experienced a stalker, yes I would be scared that anyone sending me an anonymous nasty note without a return address is a "craaaaazy stalker" and OP.has no clue what this family has already been through.
Anyone spending time trying to track down a total stranger online is a loon to me, it's one thing putting all that effort into identifying this guy to report him and actually stop him, it's another putting all that effort into finding out where he lives with his wife and sending something purely to cause upset and prove she's "tracked him down" - this isn't the behaviour of a reasonable person.

Dweetfidilove · 06/12/2025 18:18

Someone called you unhinged, but you know what - it will teach the reckless fucker to stop messing with people's lives.

It's not a course of action I would have even thought about, but he's put his family in this awful position. I'm sure this won't stop him from being a dick though.