To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

Agreed

Dirty creep deserves it, but curious, how did the texting start exactly? Sorry if i missed it

Surely men don’t think this??!

if someone does this without your consent or permission then it’s illegal. disgusting and illegal. It’s cyber flashing. It is definitely reportable to the police.

Oh pipe down all of you! This man committed a crime. A sex crime. He absolutely deserves for his wife to know. And OP says there are no kids at home. What’s wrong with mumsnet today?

Don’t be daft. It’s a postcard. Asking him to stop a behavior, the police won’t care.

You're doing this in a very mean way. She could find out suddenly on her way to work or something. You could let her know in a nicer way if you insist on doing so.

😂😂😂

You're pretzeling yourself trying to protect vile married flashers. I wonder why?

He's the one who has broken the law, he's lucky she didn't go to the police.

So Sorry OP but you were obviously really expecting everyone to say how clever and creative you were and such a ‘girls girl!!’ Just Doing it for the girls! You go girl! . Sadly you come across as bitter and rejected! You literally paid to look up his address to be able to send it! If this landed on my mat i would think that one of his mates had sent it - was you hoping to split them up and for him to come running to you??

If I sent a Moonpig card to every married man who’d texted me an unsolicited dick pic, I’d be bankrupt.

Yes, they’re all fucking morons. Yes, their wives deserve to know.

But who has the time and energy to search the internet to find out their personal and business details, and then send them a postcard, just to teach them a lesson? I think OP needs a hobby!

His wife will find out soon enough.

I wasn't expecting anyone to say that.

How exactly do you think I'm bitter and rejected? That's crazy.

If you read the thread properly you'd also know I didn't pay to look up his address.

Your argument is just stupid especially if you think I'd want a man like that to come running to me. Sorry your standards are so low to even consider writing "was you hoping to split them up and for him to come running to you??"

It's were, not was, by the way.

So many subpar menz on here....attempting to minimize and goad and denigrate the OP. Sad af. 😂

Thankfully for me it's only one. I've plenty of hobbies too but thanks for the advice.

I don’t know. You tell me why? As a victim of a sex offence, I wouldn’t protect anyone. I am happily married. Doesn’t make what op has done is right. I’d rather sex offenders were prosecuted rather than it get dropped because of a tit for tat offence. His wife absolutely could go to the police with the postcard.

I don’t understand why you’re trying to derail the thread by keep bringing up something that is completely irrelevant.
We’re talking about a cheating man.

So now you are now saying you don’t believe me because of my spelling - my first language is not English, I am dyslexic and my phone uses auto text due to my crap language processing skills.

But by all means try and find something else to ‘catch me out’.

Have you never heard the term ‘red flags’.
These are signs used to profile certain people.

These can be used for all sorts of people - online scammers, psychopaths, controlling or abusive men etc - so why do you think it’s such a massive reach for these to be used on violent rapists and peadophiles?
How do you think organisations spot at risk youth of being drawn into county lines or sex work?
Are you saying these professionals are also wrong?

There has also been more than 1 thread on MN about women who’ve come across men who they instinctively feel unsafe around - are those women all wrong too?

And you said you thought it was ironic that I was with a man who was cheating - why? I have never once said that I can tell when a man is lying or cheating.

Even a cheating man has red flags and if the wife posted on here saying he’s got 2 phones, switches the phone off when he’s out, goes missing for days on end etc etc then we’d all say he could be cheating - doesn’t mean any of us are correct and I’d never think I was 100% correct.

Its actually quite pathetic that you’ve jumped on someone else’s thread to try and prove me wrong when it is obvious you have no idea what you are talking about.

You’re welcome.

Genuinely, I hope you don’t get any more pics from these types of tosspots. It clearly upsets you much more than it does me.

How would she find out on the way to work if it was sent to her home address?

Surely she could get a text or phone call at any minute telling her her DH is cheating.

Completely agree with this, reporting to the police would have still outed him AND made him face the consequences of his actions and his wife would have found out but not in such a humiliating way. OPs completely undermined that now by harassing his family (or potentially some randomer) and looking like an obsessed stalker sat home alone on the internet identifying workplaces and houses on linked in and 192 for someone she doesn't even know is the man who sent her a dick pic. It could be anyone using a fake profile.

People live all kinds of different lives, I'd appreciate someone letting me know if my husband was cheating if they told me in a way that respectful and being aware how it would affect my life and most importantly if they were someone who actually knew me and my life and what was going on in it. OP has no clue of the ins and outs of a marriage of total strangers and regardless of it was info I wanted to know, I would feel like whoever decided to stalk my information online because they want to send proof that they knew where I and my children lived was dangerous. A lot of posters are glossing over how creepy it is that someone would spend their time and money researching and putting together all the little puzzle pieces and then spending their money on a card to prove they've located a total stranger.

A man who would send unsolicited dick pics isn't gonna feel some deep wave of shame from a bloody postcard, and OP knows that, that's why she's done it on a postcard cos she's hoping his wife will see it and is hoping that hurting his wife and kids will hurt him and cause that shame.

If she does, then she'll find out that her H is a foul sleaze bag who is cyberflashing innocent women without their consent.

I sincerely hope this isn’t real . Doing daft stuff like this has consequences - potentially quite dangerous ones

Great, she can also report for the intentional distress op has caused. So no real winners.

So why did you not send a letter to his wife telling her he’s on a dating site (enclose pic as proof) and that he sent you explicit photos that were not asked for and not appreciated). What made you decide a Moonpig postcard was the better option?

I wouldn't waste time making things up for fun.

YABU OP. Not because i give a shit about this sleazebag, but if you're going to potentially drag his wife into this then at least give her enough info to know it's definitely true.

Otherwise he just denies it, says it must be a joke and gets away scot free and she's the one left with her head fucked not knowing what's true.

You sound bitter because you've ignored every sensible avenue for reporting his behaviour if it was his behaviour you truly took issue with. Instead you've instantly put a LOT of time and effort into locating this man purely for the reason of sending something to his marital home. You've clearly spent enough time on the internet after these messages and spent none of them looking into how to report a flasher and all of it into locating his details, locating his wife and their address and his workplace as though you're obsessed with him. Whether it not that's your intention, it's absolutely how it looks. I think the majority of us have experienced cyber flashing (myself sadly long before it was illegal and I could actually do anything about it) all I wanted was to never have them contact me again, it wouldn't occur to me to spend hours researching them and their life online and then inserting myself into their real life, I'd be far too worried it would encourage them or make them harass me more in return.

Just read the thread and stop assuming rubbish.