To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

And not at all Fatal Attraction.

Why the fuck would anyone be jealous of the wife of a self serial cheat? And I'm pretty sure that no woman wants a relationship with a git like this either @Lex345.

Didn't you know that sending unsolicited pictures like that is a criminal offence?

I actually agree with this and have no idea why you called me a rape apologist, a wife of a cheater and all the other things you said to me. I reported that post btw.

I wonder how you managed to interpret my post as thinking it would be ironic if you were raped. Of course that’s not what I said, or meant. I’m not victim blaming because you’re not a victim.

Of course it’s not your fault for trusting someone who turned out to be a liar. It’s wise to be hyper vigilant of any man imo.

The irony (to me) is in you thinking you can tell who’s risky, yet being taken in by a liar. It proves that you - and none of us - have a radar to help us out. If that were true no one would ever be cheated on or lied to. Distrust everyone until they prove otherwise.

They will.

For the hard-of-understanding.

It really is.

Read your posts. I am sorry that happened to you. I have too.

Does you being assaulted somehow negate what you have said on this thread? Stop making pathetic excuses for abusive men. I have done nothing but support the OP and say that men are 100% responsible for the consequences of their abusive actions and that includes what has happened to you.

Both women are victims.

Not sure why so many people are quizzing OP trying to catch her out.

I really hope kids aren’t involved but other than that I did think it was quite a unique move to send the postcard!!

some men are disgusting. Why do they think we want to see their penises (is that the plural? It doesn’t look right 🤔).

Meh, I find it weird that you’ve done this. He is absolutely in the wrong, and you aren’t wrong, but this is weird.
its even weirder you’re on mumsnet telling everyone what you’ve done.

I know you say you know it’s him OP but you have no proof whatsoever. If you have found all this info about your mystery man so easily then he could have done exactly the same thing and assumed someone else’s persona.
What you’ve done is a nasty sneaky thing to do to anyone, in a grown up world people would just block and move on, you really don’t sound like a nice person at all, especially as you’re so proud of yourself!

Cos they are menz here to goad women... saddos abound.

And even that it’s his house! What if it is the house of a friend? Or a total stranger.

can someone please enlighten me is the postcard a picture of his…bits?

Edited to say I guess not or the post office might have reported it.

Sorry tried to comment on a your post to another poster.

Just step away. His family have done nothing to you, so don’t be spiteful. 🤷‍♀️

This.

We teach our kids not to worry about being polite when someone behaves inappropriately towards them. We don't say "but it might make their family sad, so we only whisper when we are being abused".

The only cringe thing about any of this is a grown man sending unsolicited pictures of his penis to OP.

And the 'grown up' men trolling on this thread to stick up for married-dick-pic-man

What's sad is the predictable dishonesty that I always get when I have this discussion.

You, like all the others, know full well that a performative and explosive bomb in the life of a stranger is not the same as objecting to a dick pic or even reporting it as the crime it is (if it's investigated then I'll find out anyway, in a far less performative manner that doesn't actually weaponise me or my family). You also know that it doesn't mean I think unsolicited dick pics are OK.

So why are you guys always so dishonest about it and talk disingenuous shit like this? Is it because you want to tell me off for not wanting to be treated this way? You can have your preferences, I'll have mine. You'd appreciate a shitty note like this through your door, I wouldn't. I don't have to like and accept the things you like or take the risks with strangers that you would.

I see you went and got yourself a large shovel this afternoon op.

The fact is you have no idea how he will treat her after this. Is he violent? Is she? Or suicidal, maybe?

He deserves the scorn and humiliation, but his wife does not. There are ways to let someone know without notifying the postie, the neighbor who got the wrong mail, the friend or family member who picks up the mail as a favor.

The facts are that he's truly disgusting and breaking the law, but you have no idea who will see the postcard, and you threw a hand grenade into an innocent person's life 3 weeks before Christmas. Is that the lesson you actually meant to teach? If you'd gone to the police they might have called him in for a warning, which would have put the fear of God or his wife into him.

I didn't say any of this to make you feel bad, but in hopes it might make someone else think twice. Maybe the postcard will be returned to sender, and you can find a less destructive way to put him in his place.