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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send this to a married man

1000 replies

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 10:54

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

OP posts:
Original poster
IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:56

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 13:54

How will you feel if you never find out the outcome and never hear another thing about it?

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I don't care really.

OP posts:
Bobbedhairdontcare · 06/12/2025 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LotzofLurve · 06/12/2025 13:56

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 13:55

Private Investigator?

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Not a very good one if she relies on 192!

Original poster
IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:57

LotzofLurve · 06/12/2025 13:55

If you 'investigate' anything for work you would not be using something as basic and sometimes outdated as 192.
You'd have access to a more sophisticated site.

Also- just in case this helps with your work - it's very simple to withhold your details from 192. Mine aren't there .

It's based on the electoral roll and each year when you update your info on the EL you can choose to have that info hidden from other sites- like 192!

So if you really do use it 'for work' you're not going to find out much! 😂

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I know this already thanks.

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 06/12/2025 13:57

OneBookTooMany · 06/12/2025 13:05

Well, you have been busy and I imagine he could be just as busy and find out where you live or work.

I think you have been foolish and it could come back to bite you.

I hope not but most people are traceable these days and , even if he wasn't able to trace you himself, he could hire a private detective who would be able to so in short order.

You might think he wouldn't do that but a man who has seen his family blown up-he won't blame himself, he will blame you-just before Christmas could be quite motivated to find you.

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You sound like the man.

Climbingrosexx · 06/12/2025 13:57

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:18

I didn't receive multiple pictures of that nature. There were good morning good night messages from him. He sent pictures of his car, at work and then his house. I now think that was to try to make me feel impressed so I would send him pictures myself and be receptive to and send nudes. I sent him some of my cat and he said nice pussy that gave me pause. This was after he'd asked for us to meet. Then they graduated in tone capped off with the piece de resistance. Then I blocked him.

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So you blocked him, job done but in the process of humiliating him you have also humiliated his wife. The timing absolutely sucks too. At the end of the day if you feel your conscience is clear and you are happy with your actions I'm not sure why you would even bother leaving yourself open to the opinions of a bunch of strangers. I suppose I see it from the wifes point of view having been that wife, I would want to know, but not like that

Original poster
IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Kidsgotothatschool · 06/12/2025 13:58

I am ALL for giving a betrayed spouse their personal agency back through sensitively and discretely sharing the information with them but this is vile.

I’m amazed anyone thinks this is ok. If he has children at home they could pick up the card, his wife will probably be the recipient and this is just cruel.

I am aghast that anyone thinks this is getting one over on a creepy man, it’s not it’s humiliating his wife and possibly devastating his children (you don’t know that there aren’t any) if they get to that card first.

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 13:58

He’s a sleaze so one way or another it will become evident in his marriage. In this day and age of SM and tech it must be difficult to never get found out.

What was the source of you crossing paths in the first place?

LotzofLurve · 06/12/2025 13:58

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:56

I don't care really.

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You are not coming over well at all.

It's a shame you didn't ask the question before you sent the card.

There is always the chance that the postman is a good person and will bin it before popping it in the letter box.

ThatCyanCat · 06/12/2025 13:58

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:56

I don't care really.

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Bollocks. If you didn't care you would have done nothing. You don't brew up a storm, tell the internet and then claim to have zen-like detachment.

Besides, how horrible. You don't care about his wife? Then why do this to her, and not just leave her alone?

LotzofLurve · 06/12/2025 13:59

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 13:57

I know this already thanks.

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You didn't or you wouldn't have been so quick to say you used it for work!
Stop digging.

Thehandinthecookiejar · 06/12/2025 14:00

BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 06/12/2025 11:03

Bloody hell, how spiteful.

You could have privately messaged the wife with evidence, you could have even reported his unsolicited dick pics to the police and let them deal with it.

Sending an anonomous postcard to his home, so his wife and kids have to deal with it is out of order.

He deserves all he gets, but his family deserve some respect.

They’re not getting much respect from him are they. Still what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you I guess, maybe that’s why calling men out rather than just ignoring them is such a crime 🙄

Original poster
IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 14:00

ThatCyanCat · 06/12/2025 13:58

Bollocks. If you didn't care you would have done nothing. You don't brew up a storm, tell the internet and then claim to have zen-like detachment.

Besides, how horrible. You don't care about his wife? Then why do this to her, and not just leave her alone?

Edited
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I don't mean it like that. You've willingly misinterpreted.

OP posts:
Inwhitelights · 06/12/2025 14:00

You ok hun?

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 06/12/2025 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Differentforgirls · 06/12/2025 14:01

Zov · 06/12/2025 13:11

@IslaSkywalker

I am gobsmacked that 60% of people voting think YANBU! 😬

What you've done is utterly batshit.

I was about to ask how you know his address.

Because he was showing off about his house. He sent pictures of that. A quick check online reveals he's not living there by himself.

He sent pictures of his house to you? Confused

Sounds like you reversed the image and tried to find his house on Google Maps/streetview, and then on top of that, you've gone onto the internet to look at who lives there. So you know his full name as well now too........? And his wife's by the look of it.

As previous posters have said, you sound like an obsessive stalker... What you're doing is not healthy or normal... And sending the Moonpig card with the message you sent in it, is peak batshit.

Also... This is the most batshit thread of the month so far...

.

Edited

I would disagree. I think your post is tbh.

Original poster
IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 14:01

LotzofLurve · 06/12/2025 13:59

You didn't or you wouldn't have been so quick to say you used it for work!
Stop digging.

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Do you have tonight's lottery numbers? You know an awful lot about... Someone you know nothing about!

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 06/12/2025 14:02

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 14:00

I don't mean it like that. You've willingly misinterpreted.

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How do you mean it, then?

What outcome were you hoping for, and what exactly is it that you don't care about?

MissMoneyFairy · 06/12/2025 14:03

IslaSkywalker · 06/12/2025 14:01

Do you have tonight's lottery numbers? You know an awful lot about... Someone you know nothing about!

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Oh the irony

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/12/2025 14:04

Mermaidsarereal · 06/12/2025 11:10

As others have said does he have kids who could pick this up and read it? If this happened to me and my DD read it, it would ruin her life.

As a married woman I would appreciate being told if my husband was playing away but there are better ways to go about it.

This

you sound spiteful @IslaSkywalker

yes the wife needs to know and I would want to know if being cheated on but there a way to go about it

puppymaddness · 06/12/2025 14:04

Edenmum2 · 06/12/2025 11:03

If he’s the kind of guy that sends unsolicited pics then he’d probably get a kick out of the postcard tbh

Hard agree with this.

I think what you did was silly OP. While the behaviour of this man is beyond the pale disgusting, I don't think this was a helpful response. It just gives him the attention he's craving.

Differentforgirls · 06/12/2025 14:04

NeatJoker · 06/12/2025 13:15

I think if you’re going to tell the wife what’s going on, and you can easily argue she has a right to know and you to tell, this is a very uncontrolled and risky way to do so. A child/teenager could see it and confront dad - that could lead to awful situation of bribery, secrecy, stress, divided loyalties etc etc. Possibly even threats and violence not to tell mum. Too may unknown variables.

He is entirely to blame here. And you've posted that he may be even worse than just a sleezebag? In that case he should be reported to the police.

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 14:05

Kidsgotothatschool · 06/12/2025 13:58

I am ALL for giving a betrayed spouse their personal agency back through sensitively and discretely sharing the information with them but this is vile.

I’m amazed anyone thinks this is ok. If he has children at home they could pick up the card, his wife will probably be the recipient and this is just cruel.

I am aghast that anyone thinks this is getting one over on a creepy man, it’s not it’s humiliating his wife and possibly devastating his children (you don’t know that there aren’t any) if they get to that card first.

Especially as it’s a postcard for anyone to see. So it’s not just the sleazy guy who will be humiliated (he might not even be, he could be a raging, entitled, even abusive, narcissist) but the wife and kids (even if older) will be humiliated knowing a postman and maybe his mates have seen it. Our postman is very familiar with everyone so if he posted that through my door I would be mortified and deeply upset at the humiliation, as well as having to deal with the fact my dh is a cheating sleaze.

Climbingrosexx · 06/12/2025 14:06

ThatCyanCat · 06/12/2025 13:45

The messenger in these cases did not simply deliver a message, though. Arguably, when you're not in the marriage and have no connection to the wife, it's not even your message to send; if you aren't planning on being around to support her, because you don't bloody know her, then there's a good case to say it wasn't your message to send. You have no idea if she wanted your input.

But even that aside, these things aren't just messages, they are curated bombs designed to explode, cause the maximum drama and heightened feeling, involve more people (OP admits one reason for it was to get the postman involved in the implicit public shaming; what's he got to do with this??), and pretty much entirely for the "messenger's" sense of vengeance and entertainment.

It's absolutely not a neutral transmission of information and you know it.

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My thoughts too, if you dont even know the wife you don't know what could be going on in her life at the moment or what support she will have if she finds this card. Lets hope she hasnt recently lost a loved one, facing illness or having mental health issues. Might sound dramatic but theres a million and one things could be happening to a person. Hopefully not, maybe she already knows and is making the best of his own life while he behaves like a dick

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