To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

The messenger in these cases did not simply deliver a message, though. Arguably, when you're not in the marriage and have no connection to the wife, it's not even your message to send; if you aren't planning on being around to support her, because you don't bloody know her, then there's a good case to say it wasn't your message to send. You have no idea if she wanted your input.

But even that aside, these things aren't just messages, they are curated bombs designed to explode, cause the maximum drama and heightened feeling, involve more people (OP admits one reason for it was to get the postman involved in the implicit public shaming; what's he got to do with this??), and pretty much entirely for the "messenger's" sense of vengeance and entertainment.

It's absolutely not a neutral transmission of information and you know it.

You will get your answer by guess what method? Could it be reading the thread?

It doesn't sound plausible.
If he is married and sending pictures that could potentially land him in trouble there's no way he would use information that could be traced back to him.
He could easily have a fake profile, so easily to steal someone else's name, photo, address. Scammers do it all the time.
How does he know your not an undercover police officer ?
I do applaud women who call men out on their abusive behaviour but something doesn't add up.
He might have a grudge against someone for all you know and use their ID.
Is it more likely there is more to this than what you are letting on?
Some women are.happy to be with a married man until he decided to call time, then all hell breaks out.

That’s a really shitty thing to do. What if a child reads it? What if the wife reads it and has a breakdown? If he’s a crappy husband, it’s nothing to do with you.

Hmmm, and why do you think posters may accuse you of stalking?

Come off it @IslaSkywalker you can't possibly think what you're doing is normal and acceptable?

Then the Dad is to blame for actually being a sleeze.

You're trying to catch me out. I didn't say I forgot I had a subscription. You asked if I paid for one to track this guy down and the answer is no, because I already had one.

I have it for my business but that's my business, not yours.

Au contraire.

We have led very full lives.
And can see an over reaction

Anyway, I'm pleased for Moonpig - more business for them.

Diva now.

Yes they're trying hard!

😆 Why am I not surprised to hear this?

Bunny Boiler now...

Exactly.

192 charges by card for access to a certain number of addresses.

It's not something anyone would sign up to unless they had a very specific reason.

You wouldn't be if you knew what I do for work.

Ah. Full house. Bingo. Blaming the OP for the wife's breakdown!

@ReleaseTheDucksOfWar You clearly take issue with anyone with half a brain who can ask the right questions.

I did not say that. My answer to your question was one word.

There's some nutcase comments here.

How will you feel if you never find out the outcome and never hear another thing about it?

As much as half? Really?

If you 'investigate' anything for work you would not be using something as basic and sometimes outdated as 192.
You'd have access to a more sophisticated site.

Also- just in case this helps with your work - it's very simple to withhold your details from 192. Mine aren't there .

It's based on the electoral roll and each year when you update your info on the EL you can choose to have that info hidden from other sites- like 192!

So if you really do use it 'for work' you're not going to find out much! 😂

This is the other thing. I always get pilloried for saying it, but it's true. It doesn't matter how a person feels individually about whether they want to be told or not. When you don't know the people involved, have no idea what the effect on them will be and will not be around to support them, you've got no business setting off bombs like this. Some people might thank you but many won't and it simply isn't your place to make such explosive and permanent changes in the lives of strangers so you can polish your halo and enjoy the anticipated wreckage from your safe, hidden spot. It's horrible, actually.

It's quite interesting that when women find out they've been betrayed, there's a great understanding for the heartbreak and devastation. But when a third party deliberately drops a bomb designed to cause fireworks and get a high, it's all cheers and "enjoy the show". Seems families are still collateral damage in someone's pursuit of a high.

Guy is obviously a total pig but if he's this indiscreet then he's unlikely to get away with it for long and it doesn't make his marriage public property. Wife might already know and have her own reasons for ignoring it, or have a breakdown and take her own life, or do nothing at all, in which case what was the point?

Just steer clear of these shitwipes when you meet them and shut them right down with nothing further. You aren't the judge, jury and executioner of people's marriages.

Private Investigator?

You were that wife but are blaming a woman who was sent pictures of a man's penis?