To send this to a married man

[IslaSkywalker]

It's been sent but I'd like to see what people say.

A man who's turned out to be married has been chatting with me and arranging to meet. Also being very flirty and sexual toned in conversation that I did not like and sent unsolicited "pictures." Guess what type.

He's been sent a moonpig postcard telling him to stop flirting and messing around in the new year and not to send pictures of his bits and pieces to women who've not asked.

I can't believe he's only done it the once. I chose a postcard because of the embarrassment factor. The postman will see it and it'd make him look a fool explaining to his wife if she picks it up from the mat.

Not bitter or jealous, he's a complete tool who I don't want. AT ALL.

All the information was there. He sent pictures from work. He showed off his car. It's easy to find out if that's his real job and it is. He told me his date of birth too. Hell I could probably do his family tree from the limited information he gave.

Does he know who you are? I’d imagine he’ll try to get his own back in some way.

He will have done this to loads of women. He's on a dating app

Well he's a total sleaze who has committed a criminal offence. I don't think the OP's actions in sending the postcard will have the effect she wants, but she's the victim here.

So you believed that was his house?

You can appreciate surely that anyone can go onto Right Move, choose a house for sale and tell you theirs is next door.

I wonder who will actually receive the naughty postcard!

He is a pig. He's a sleezy slimy sack of shit who 100% deserves knob rot.
But his wife deserves a kinder way to discover that. Not something that is going to have her feeling like everyone's laughing at her and worrying that the postie read it

Its not about him.or the many bad things he richly deserves. He deserves the consequences of his actions but his wife deserves some respect and empathy

You are naive if you think any of what he told you was true because he was already lying about being single!

He will. Because I checked the address and name on 192 and bingo. The photos of work match up with the company website. He's on the company website and LinkedIn too.

(Waiting for the accusations of stalking)

you knew he was married ...should have ignored him ..but for some reason you want to wreck his family....he'd manage that on his own without your help my lovely...too late now

You have to pay to get that info from 192 now - did you pay just to get his info?

I wouldn’t say I blindly trusted him.

Due to trauma in my childhood I am unfortunately hyper vigilant of men and so I have trust issues.

But I was very young, years before working with convicted men. We dated for months before having sex. We went away on trips, I met his family etc.
There were no signs he had a family.

I of course spent time wondering whether I was to blame and if I should have seen the signs. But I realised that I was not to blame and he was the only one in the wrong.

I work with rapists a lot. I have been trained in how to physically defend myself, as well as psychological tactics that may help.
But that does not mean I am ever safe from being raped.
It would not be ‘ironic’ if I got raped. It would be awful.
Just like it would not be ‘ironic’ if I ever got cheated on - it would be shit and would be no fault of my own.

You sound like you are victim blaming.

It would never be my fault if I was cheated on or got with a man who was a cheater - it would be his fault.
Just like the wife in this scenario has no fault in this at all.

I am not sure why this thread has posters trying to blame/judge anyone but the actual person who was cheating.

No.

I am not sure why this thread has posters trying to blame/judge anyone but the actual person who was cheating.

Because she would have been better to walk away with dignity.
They didn't even meet. It was a bit of online chat and a photo.

Sending a postcard is madness. What if his children see it first?

And for all she knows he could be in an open marriage or his wife may be doing the same thing.

There are some awfully misogynistic views on here and it’s shocking on a site that is mostly women.

I would not have gone to the effort that OP did.
I doubt the wife will even believe it.

But the only one in the wrong here is him.
Not OP, not the wife. Just him.

He reaps the consequences of his actions. The postcard is clearly not what a lot of people would do but so what? He brought it upon himself.

As a woman who has had a cheating husband, what a totally horrible and humiliating way to find out.

You can't get the info you need without paying so I think you are being disingenuous.

All you can see is a name and town. No address, no street number.

It's easy enough for anyone reading your posts to try 192 themselves and prove you wrong.

Yes especially 3 weeks before Xmas

Well done OP.

Hope you feel proud.

The trouble with things like the round robin and this Moonpig thing is there is a tendency to shoot the messenger. It must be something in human nature that if you find out something yourself you get your head down, focus and deal with it, but if an outsider informs you the anger gets directed at the informant. Think how many people on MN over the years (or anywhere) that were worried about telling a friend their partner is cheating because they fear it will end their friendship (which has been known). It’s a peculiar human trait.

Not true at all. Are you familiar with the internet at all?

Can't help thinking that all the people calling the OP unhinged have really really sheltered lives.

192 is really out of date unless you pay, I wouldn't have bothered wasting moonpig money or time trying to find out about him.

I do pay for 192 but I already had a subscription. Sorry for that!

Given their name, perhaps LotzofLurve is exactly like your dickpic man :D

If so it's in their interests to shut you up, ofc.