over a bloody booster seat 🥵

[StarDolphins]

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

This is not true at all. Road deaths have reduced massively since the 90s. In 1990 it was about 5,000 deaths per year, by the end of the 90s this had reduced to about 3500, today it's more like 1700.

There are also about 60% fewer car accidents today, although that isn't affected by whether or not you use a booster seat. It's more likely to do with better road design, more stringent driving tests and modern safety features in cars e.g. ABS and some of the autonomous features in newer cars. And probably also better enforcement of speed limits/less drunk driving.

You probably hadn't heard of them until the 90s because they weren't really invented until then. The backless booster was around in the early 80s but didn't make much sense until seatbelts were more common in the back seats anyway. The early high backs were not much good, we didn't really get modern ones until later in the 90s and then it started to be clear they did help older children. Awareness campaigns were tried first but usage stayed low so the decision was made to legislate.

I'd be iffy about either of mine going on an hours car journey with someone else's parents anyway, especially with a load of rowdy kids on the backseat serving as a distraction. My 10 year old is on the borderline of 135 but she would 100% be in her booster seat and she definitely wouldn't be arguing about it. I'm not strict about much, but car seats are absolutely non negotiable.

"Awareness campaigns were tried first but usage stayed low so the decision was made to legislate."

Lol yep, the state got it's way as it always does. Why go to the effort of campaigning when you can just force it into law anytime you like? They made a tidy profit from the awareness campaigns, though, I bet.

Awareness campaigns cost money, they don’t create revenue.

Well, yes, they do, for the advertisement makers and the booster seat manufacturers. It's capitalism 101. Someone pitches an idea, the budget needed is drawn up, the makers of the advertisements then get to work once they have money to start making something. Remembering that this is the public sector, there is no private finding, so who ponies up the dough? The taxpayer. There is a constant flow of taxpayer money, so just yoink some cash from the public purse.

"Oh, this hasn't increased booster seat sales. Nevermind. Let's get it legislated and force uptake instead."

They've pocketed the money to make the advertisements that did bugger all (which they likely knew in any case), then the booster seat makers have a got a cash boost from people being forced to buy them as a result of the booster seats being legislated.

Money is revenue to the person it ends up with.

@YorkshireGoldDrinker do you not think car seats are necessary?

Awareness campaigns are not linked to manufacturers, if you actually look at the awareness campaigns you’ll see that where booster seats were concerned these were government funded and not affiliated to any seat manufacturer.

Car seats, yes. I'm getting a car seat for my baby when he's born in March.

Booster seats, not really, no. But I'll get one for when my baby outgrows his car seat because while I think they're dumb, I'm also a law-abiding citizen.

And where do you think the government gets it's money?

Not car seat manufacturers.

I’d also want her to use a booster. My dd had a similar trip at a similar age and used a booster, she was even smaller than your dd though. The kids were year below and none of them had booster but no one cared.

Jesus, I'm so glad I'm old and this stuff didn't exist when I was a child ...!

(However I do have a different risk appetite - motorbike rider; and so did my parents - I was a latchkey kid.

But then we were much closer to Chernobyl so also a different time, a different place...)

🤣controlling? WTH, controlling would be ‘no I don’t like your friends, therefore you can’t go’. This is about safety, nothing at all controlling about that.

This is how I feel. I don’t enforce much but there’s so many irresponsible drivers about and regret is a terrible thing to live with.

My DD not even 150cm with 3 kids of her own and drives her own carwithout a booster seat

100% this.

My 9 year old daughter is over 1m35 but I still make her use a booster seat. Otherwise the seatbelt is uncomfortably close to her neck and should we be in a crash then it could result in serious damage.

Car safety just isn't worth compromising on.

It’s so sad but that’s my experience too. There’s only 1 kid I know where they’re made to use the booster seat, all the others just jump In & stick the seat belt on🙄

It’s really not. I would have her on the booster seat another year if I could. When she got back from her Dad’s today, she said “Dad said I don’t need a booster seat”🙄

Is the UK gov lobbied by business in the same way the US gov is? I didn't think so. I was trying to find the old BBC article I had which was from the time when they wanted people to use booster seats but hadn't put it in law yet. I couldn't find it but this is similar - this seems to be a road safety org, rather than a manufacturer.

It may give you a warning because it's the old site so it's not https. It's not actually unsafe to view the site.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/3628251.stm

@YorkshireGoldDrinker what about a high backed booster as this will keep seat belt in a better place?

I was 9 when the law was changed and because I’m a short arse my mum had to buy me a booster seat.

I don’t know if it’s a generational thing, but I put my foot down over car safety, especially for a journey over an hour (my ds is 7 and I had him fairly young).135cm is rubbish and the law should be 150cm as most other European countries. Google submarining and you’d soon care more about their booster seat than their perceived social status.

At the end of the day, you're her parent, I'd be very firm that it's against the law for her not to be in one and that you will not break the law for her just because her father will. Tell her that it could prevent her from having serious injury in the event of an accident.

Honestly, I don't negotiate on this.

Her Dad is an arse by the way.

I'm with you OP. A lot of parents are willing to take risks with safety and prioritise convenience, but I don't. The testing and guidance is there for a reason.

Taxpayers. The government gets it's money from taxpayers.

Maybe. I don't know. When my son arrives, I'll be learning more about all of this.