over a bloody booster seat 🥵

[StarDolphins]

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

Always one embarrassing mum.

For the sake of a few cms i would allow her to have no booster seat on this occasion. Make sure she's aware of the dangers of not having her seatbelt on properly.

To be fair I understand why she doesn't want too, kids can be horrible, even when they don't mean too and they probably would say something.

I'm dreading when my daughter is older and doesn't want a car seat. She's 4.5 years and she's still rear facing even though she's already 119cm.

DD is nearly 10 and still used here… but then she’s a shorty.
None of her friends use them but they are all a lot taller than her. No one has ever said anything mean to her about it and she’s not bothered about using one.

Ybu, but i totally get your anxiety over it as well.

It's not meaningless.
As a adult who is 164cm tall, I've been a passenger in many cars where the seat belt cuts into my neck because it was designed for an average height man not an average height woman or child.

If I or other people of the same height or smaller were in a car crash, this could be lethal.

The US height for using a booster seat is 140cm and it is 150cm across all of the EU - the UK is the outlier and there is no good reason for that.

Below are some stats I found online from the USA showing child deaths in car crashes declining since 1976 in line with an increase in the use of baby seats, booster seats, etc.

https://saferide4kids.com/bestn5steps/

5-Step seat belt check list:

5 Step Seat Belt Check List:

The 5-step seat belt fit test
Created in 2008 for CPS Team Colorado
Before a child should be sitting in just a vehicle seat belt, he or she needs to meet the following five seat belt fit criteria called the 5-Step Seat Belt Fit Test:
1 – Shoulder belt crosses between the neck and shoulder and across mid chest.
If the shoulder belt is too close to the neck, kids can be tempted to put it behind their back for comfort. A shoulder belt that sits off the shoulder can slip off during a crash, reducing its ability to protect.
2 – Back is against the vehicle seat.
If the child is sitting with their bottom forward to allow their legs to go over the edge of the seat in order to feel comfortable, a gap is created between their low back and the seat. This will cause the seat belt to ride up out of position onto their belly. It can also introduce slack in the seat belt which will allow the child to move forward more during a crash. Both of these can cause increased injury in a crash.
3 – Lap belt stays on the upper thighs across the hip bones.
If the lap portion of the belt is across the soft tissue of the abdomen (like will happen if their back isn’t against the vehicle seat), it can damage internal organs in a crash.
4 – The knees bend at the end of the seat.
Kids will scoot their bottom forward to let their knees bend comfortably, increasing their risk of injury because the seat belt rides up off of their hips and onto the soft part of their belly. They need to be tall enough to have their knees comfortably bend at the edge of the seat.
5 – Feet are flat on the floor.
The child’s legs need to be long enough to allow the feet to rest on the floor while their knees at the end of the seat.

It sounds as though your DD has a not very nice social group. My DD is also 9 and 139 cm. I am happy to let her ride in friends' parents' cars without a booster for short journeys. In our car she will be on a backless booster (we've removed the back from the HBB) until she is close to 150 cm. She has started to complain about it and one of her friends used the "baby" line, but we gave it short shrift. The attitudes on this thread are extraordinary.

I did a little research:
Child Car Seats & Safety Facts & Stats (That Every Parent Should Read) – In Car Safety Centre https://share.google/toFhcKOy4vXBYxfzj

Back Boosters
Despite the benefits of rear-facing seats and proper restraints, many people are unaware of the need to use a high-back booster until a child reaches 135cm in height or 12 years of age. High-back boosters can reduce the risk of injury in children aged 4 to 10 by 77% in a crash (Safety for the Growing Child – Swedish Accident Data). High-back boosters provide better head and side protection and ensure the seatbelt is positioned correctly across the shoulder.

While I dont think its a hill to die on, I would want to feel comfortable the drivers were mindful on their driving.

Blimmem hard though being 9 and trying to fit in.

I am shorter than you. This doesn't happen to me. My seat belt height is adjustable.

Facts remain, if the science were fixed, so would the requirements for booster seats be fixed globally. None of what you have said disproved my point.

There's a way she can come out of this confident in her own decision making around her safety which will be so much more useful for her in the future than knowing she has to do what you say.

She's old enough to read through the gov.uk info on car seats and to explore how badly designed the world is for people who aren't straight sized men.

She's also old enough to understand that the adult driving the car could be in difficulties with the police if they don't make all the shorter kids use booster seats.

The seat belt height may be adjustable in your car which is great but that is not the case in all cars or I've been very unlucky.
I don't have this issue in my own car because I'm the driver and can adjust my seat height up so that the seat belt then fits me properly but that feature is not available in back seats which is where children usually sit.

Also, try reading the information from the link in my previous post - it goes into a lot of detail about the specific injuries which occur in children in car accidents due to their height and age, particularly if there is no booster seat and they need one.

A few cm of the legal minimum. So it is illegal for her to travel without one.

Have you told her she legally has to use one?

I’m surprised you’re making your daughter this unhappy over this.

It’s not about age though. There is a legal minimum height.

Her friends sound vile.
I feel the same as you about correct child seats.
I'm surprised how few people on the thread seem to be bothered that it's illegal.

I'd rather that than a seriously injured daughter.

My daughter is slight build and just under the 135cm, I have no qualms whatsoever about clicking her highbacked and side protection booster seat into other people's cars, even when their children don't use them, despite being under the height limit.

I'm shocked at the amount of people on MN who don't give a shit about car safety for children.

YANBU @StarDolphins

We accept that it's illegal and we're not going to go against the law. We're also laughing about it because it's 1cm lacking in height. I'm laughing even harder because I've just measured my thumbnails. My thumbnails are each 1cm wide (I'm very small and fit extra small gloves). That's how much in height we're getting worked up over. It's ridiculous.

I'm with you. My son has a booster seat with him in all vehicles, including coaches for school trips. It's a non negotiable for me.

@YorkshireGoldDrinker when would it not be ridiculous, how many cm?

Me too. The off thing is I tead a similar thread on Mumsnet a few weeks ago and everyone was dead against letting children under 150cm use a car seat 🤣

I'm in Ireland and it's 150cm or 36kg for all children. I will not allow any child under 150cm travel in my car without an appropriate car seat or booster seat.

Apart from doing my utmost to ensure they're safe as much as possible I'm not prepared to risk my motor insurance.

we’ve watched mean girls together loads! And I constantly point your bad/good behaviour to her so hoping it goes in! And the ‘I deserve better’ that she got told off for was that I’d said to her.

I’m not. If you read the whole thread, you’ll see I’m the unhappy one because I sent her without it!