Page 3 | Family Christmas Issue

ChristmasIssue · 2025-12-06T02:55:47+00:00

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway. As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves. 8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas. Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone. Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog. Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order. My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited! What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

MinnieMountain · 06/12/2025 06:00

@Terrifictiger the relatives accepted the invitation knowing the dog would be there, so it’s an incredible lack of self-awareness on the relatives’ part.

SparklyGlitterballs · 06/12/2025 06:01

Send the text OP. Remind them that the whole reason you weren't going to anyone else's place this year and offered to host is because of your new dog and that you didn't want to kennel them (they're probably all booked now anyway). Tell them they've got to until 6pm to let you know their final decision, but the dog will be at home and not shut outside or on its own in a room all day.

The sheer audacity of people who think they can dictate to another person/family how they behave in their own home is unbelievable! My dog is a well behaved member of our family, and if anyone doesn't want to come because of him then I'm happy for them to stay away.

Overthebow · 06/12/2025 06:03

They are Cats. Send the text and don’t shut ddog away.

HeyThereDelila · 06/12/2025 06:03

Text them all and remind them your reason for staying at home was that you bought a dog. Say dog will be there for the entire time except for the main meal. If they don’t like it and no longer want to attend, you understand. Do not back down.

Hudders3 · 06/12/2025 06:04

I would have the home stay with no one being invited this year if I was receiving those plans.
How can it be expected that they force someone to do something they don’t wish to do in their own home and you host them all day while they have their way and what they want under your roof.
Remind them the on the why they were invited in the first place and hopefully they will lump it and make other plans!

Buttcraic · 06/12/2025 06:07

Gobsmacking! My text would be far more strident! And i'm not into prioritising dogs over people or forcing people to like dogs, but you've been very clear that you're staying home for the dog! Tell them where to get off. Weirdos.

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 06:08

MinnieMountain · 06/12/2025 06:00

@Terrifictiger the relatives accepted the invitation knowing the dog would be there, so it’s an incredible lack of self-awareness on the relatives’ part.

I disagree. They likely accepted accepted out of courtesy as it’s a regular arrangement. Once it then transpired that the OP was not making suitable arrangements for the animal when considering young children will be present, the issue surfaced.

I image she knew all along what their reaction would be but has tried to take the cowardly was out by inviting them knowing it was going to be an issue rather than telling them from the outset that she now considers and animal to be more important than her family and one of them are invited.

People know who will and won’t visit when dogs are around. It’s hardly a revelation in most cases.

birdsnestinghere · 06/12/2025 06:08

Looks like you're having a smaller Christmas.

EsmeSusanOgg · 06/12/2025 06:09

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 05:47

Of course not if it was clear at the outset that a dog would be there. I wouldn’t even consider it.

I’m surprised the OP is apparently so shocked at their relatives response to a dog being present. It shows an incredible lack of self awareness.

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The shock is because she told her relatives they had a dog, and the reason for staying home was because of the dog. But if people wanted to come to her home WITH said dog, she would be happy to host.

Which makes sense, surely?

Ohpleeeease · 06/12/2025 06:10

I usually roll my eyes at the “our dog is family” brigade but even I think YANBU. It’s your home and you were clear the dog would be there. They can put up with it or not come. I would be tempted to say exactly that.

Owly11 · 06/12/2025 06:10

CFs tell them to fuck off to fuckery

EsmeSusanOgg · 06/12/2025 06:11

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 06:08

I disagree. They likely accepted accepted out of courtesy as it’s a regular arrangement. Once it then transpired that the OP was not making suitable arrangements for the animal when considering young children will be present, the issue surfaced.

I image she knew all along what their reaction would be but has tried to take the cowardly was out by inviting them knowing it was going to be an issue rather than telling them from the outset that she now considers and animal to be more important than her family and one of them are invited.

People know who will and won’t visit when dogs are around. It’s hardly a revelation in most cases.

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It is not a regular arrangement. Visiting people is. It is fine you do not like dogs. But inventing scenarios in order to justify ridiculously entitled a d rude behaviour is bizarre.

Original poster

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 06:12

Thanks everyone. I knew I wasn’t being unreasonable but when the second relative started I did question it a bit so I wanted some others opinions.

My partner and kids have said to say some of the more harsh answers given here, but I’m at least going to try to keep it polite. I really would rather not cause any family rifts as it just makes it awkward for everyone. If they continue then I will be more direct. I was really annoyed at being called cruel for prioritising our dog over a child. I’m also really annoyed that they’re trying to get other relatives on their side and then I’ve had those relatives texting to say ignore them and I’ve done nothing wrong. I appreciate their support but I’m really sad that it’s turned into something where people are having to pick a side when we’re all family and I really don’t want to fall out with anyone.

I really wish we had just said we were having Christmas alone. 😢 I thought that by being really clear about our reasons for staying home and inviting people but with no pressure to come that it would all be fine.

OP posts:

Original poster

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 06:12

Thanks everyone. I knew I wasn’t being unreasonable but when the second relative started I did question it a bit so I wanted some others opinions.

My partner and kids have said to say some of the more harsh answers given here, but I’m at least going to try to keep it polite. I really would rather not cause any family rifts as it just makes it awkward for everyone. If they continue then I will be more direct. I was really annoyed at being called cruel for prioritising our dog over a child. I’m also really annoyed that they’re trying to get other relatives on their side and then I’ve had those relatives texting to say ignore them and I’ve done nothing wrong. I appreciate their support but I’m really sad that it’s turned into something where people are having to pick a side when we’re all family and I really don’t want to fall out with anyone.

I really wish we had just said we were having Christmas alone. 😢 I thought that by being really clear about our reasons for staying home and inviting people but with no pressure to come that it would all be fine.

OP posts:

Owly11 · 06/12/2025 06:13

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 06:08

I disagree. They likely accepted accepted out of courtesy as it’s a regular arrangement. Once it then transpired that the OP was not making suitable arrangements for the animal when considering young children will be present, the issue surfaced.

I image she knew all along what their reaction would be but has tried to take the cowardly was out by inviting them knowing it was going to be an issue rather than telling them from the outset that she now considers and animal to be more important than her family and one of them are invited.

People know who will and won’t visit when dogs are around. It’s hardly a revelation in most cases.

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This is such a weird convoluted answer not remotely evidenced by the op.

Nevernonono · 06/12/2025 06:14

They are totally out of order, tell them the season of goodwill has gone, and they can stay home.

frozendaisy · 06/12/2025 06:16

Morning all,
Just to reiterate as per our original invitation we are staying in our house and our dog will be staying in our house not outside, in kennels or locked in one room over Christmas- this was never going to happen so if you wanted a house with no dog in it you should never have accepted our invitation in the first place.
We have not ruined Christmas for anyone, you accepted our invitation but to then ask us to lock up, lock out or remove our dog, which we are not and never were going to do, is outrageous and then make hints that we have ruined your Christmas because we invited you to our house as our house is with dog is insulting and passing the blame. You should have politely declined our invitation and made other arrangements. I am not going to be made to feel guilty about this.
So moving forward, as I am aware some of you are actually not happy about coming to a house with a dog, I need final numbers to do the food and drinks order please.

Muffinmam · 06/12/2025 06:16

This is so weird.

This is your home. I could never imagine saying this to anyone.

I’ve been attacked (twice) by a dog I owned. This dog was bad. It had been trained but there was something wrong with it. It was territorial from a very young age and was aggressive. My ex ended up keeping him after we broke up.

Since that experience I have never wanted to own another dog.

I would never suggest someone else kennel their dog.

I was a bit apprehensive of my sibling’s dog as it nipped her child when it was a puppy. But when I came over the dog was kept away. It has since been trained and has never done that again.

chunkyBoo · 06/12/2025 06:17

So they realise the whole reason you’re staying at home is for the dog?

Missey85 · 06/12/2025 06:17

Yanbu they were told in advance that your dog would be there it's their problem not yours 🐶 they can stay home of they don't like your pet 😊💕

Nevernonono · 06/12/2025 06:19

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 06:08

I disagree. They likely accepted accepted out of courtesy as it’s a regular arrangement. Once it then transpired that the OP was not making suitable arrangements for the animal when considering young children will be present, the issue surfaced.

I image she knew all along what their reaction would be but has tried to take the cowardly was out by inviting them knowing it was going to be an issue rather than telling them from the outset that she now considers and animal to be more important than her family and one of them are invited.

People know who will and won’t visit when dogs are around. It’s hardly a revelation in most cases.

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Do you do a lot of inventive writing?

By the way it’s a dog? What the fuck made you go to the trouble of writing “the animal”, was it part of your dramatic writing training?

Are you one of the visitors? Maybe try a Wetherspoons or Toby Carvery for Christmas Day, they may have some availability still. But don’t impose your silly rules on a family pet!

Original poster

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 06:21

Trallers · 06/12/2025 05:27

Obviously you need to stick your plan and they are being ridiculous.

Can I just check though - in your OP it's not explicitly clear that you explained to them your reason for staying home and hosting this year, can.you double check you actually mentioned the dog originally? If they've only just heard about it that would make it more understandable (they should still suck it up or make their own plans though).

We definitely explained that we were staying home due to our dog back in September. We said that we didn’t have anyone to look after our dog and didn’t want to leave him anyway.

OP posts:

firstofallimadelight · 06/12/2025 06:21

Yes send a blanket message to all relatives who have contacted you saying the reason Xmas is at yours this year is because of the dog so yes of course the dog will be there! Then say Let us know if you still want to come or not soon due to food ordering etc. and I would probably add something like I will not be discussing this further.

Tablesandchairs23 · 06/12/2025 06:23

Nah they're rude. You explained why you were staying home. Thry accepted and then moan. Stick to your guns.

Whoevenarethey · 06/12/2025 06:24

I think you have been perfectly clear about your reasons for staying home and have been incredibly kind saying you would host.
Definitely send a text saying the plans don't seem to be working for people - I would even go as far as saying based on this you have decided you are unable to host and plan to spend the day as a family on your own.