DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

I’m having a drink and this made me snort do so loud I woke up my dickead of a dog 🤣

I would thank them when I was there, would have brought a gift from us.

Is pre-thanking a thing now? From both of a couple individually? 😬

Alternative version of DDog there I see ...

I KNOW my golden retriever stinks. We take her for regular grooming and bath her when she’s rolled in fox shit, or dead birds, or whatever else the dick can find in a field. If my henry hover could talk, he’d be calling social services to be removed the amount of hair he has to gobble up.

I am under no illusions that she, and my house smells of dog.

I don’t understand dog owners who say their dog doesn’t smell. They all do. All animals have a smell.

I’d rather be with my dog

This relationship is never going to work as OP is putting a dog ahead of her DP. This is why I could never, ever date anyone with a dog. I could never accept being second to an animal! The DP probably didn’t think it was that big of a deal for the dog to go into kennels over Christmas. I would think the same. As you can probably guess, I don’t have or want a dog, it sounds like the DP feels the same. So the decision is up to OP. Stay in the relationship and put DP first or leave the relationship and put the dog first.

He's a bf of a few months and he's not too bothered that you going to his parents for Xmas didn't work out due to his screwup.

He's not too invested by the sound of it. He put off asking them about you and your dog for over a month.

I'm a bit surprised you didn't call or text thanking them for the invite.

I don't think I've ever invited anyone for Christmas who hasn't thanked me in advanced and asked if they can bring anything.

Especially I was accommodating their dog too.

Op dont be offended... I have new cream ish colour carpets and I dont even want to accommodate the kids and hubby at the moment let alone a dog 🤣

His parents have done nothing wrong. You have done nothing wrong.

Your partner on the other hand. Unless he is mortified and trying to work with you to find a solution I would end the relationship. He doesn’t respect either you or his parents. He is not coming across well here at all.

Put him in kennels

"it's just one of those things"

How about " I'm sorry, I thought they'd be fine with it, I should have checked before I told you it was fine"

Yes I'd be annoyed and wouldn't accept it being "just one of those things" (cop out) but it's forgiveable.

YANBU to be annoyed at him.

But it's not on your ILs, I wouldn't have a dog in my house either, even less at Christmas.

If someone I've only met once briefly, invites me and my dog to their home for Christmas, after I'd only been dating their son for 6 months, then yes I would text in advance to thank them and ask what I can bring with me.

Sole custody of a dog 😂😂 Jesus

Perhaps this isn't the relationship for either of you. He's not willing to own his mistake and have Christmas with you as he cocked up and you're not willing to leave your lab to join him and his family. If he had told you weeks ago said lab wasn't invited no doubt you'd be in the same position now.

I see what you mean, and I would certainly ask about bringing something, but it might well be through the boyfriend and closer to the time. Not sure I'd even have their contact details at this point in a relationship (or want my hypothetical son giving my details to his girlfriend).

I agree with this ... I'd have text to say thanks for having me and dog and what should I bring?

As a Labrador owner, I concur 😂

Why on earth would a dog be invited?

They would be terrible at charades first off but seriously do you honestly an expect an invite for an animal

Of course.

If I was invited for Christmas, I would call or text to thank them for the invite and ask them to let me know if I could contribute any food or drink for the visit. Especially a new boyfriends parents (18 years in, I just turn up at the in laws half a bottle of wine down and throw the youngest child at them).

I adore my lab. Never had a dog that sheds like him. He’s adorable, to me, he’s also huge and an immature five year old. He’s having a long run, then home wuth my spaniel while I spend Christmas Day with eight famiky menbers, one eight month old poodle cross, one ten year old poodle cross and four primary school children. This is one day not the Christmas holiday. I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to include my five stone boy in their day - unless they were other mad lab women
stay home

I think generally I'd always start from the assumption a dog is not invited unless its very explicitly offered that they are welcome.

I don't think its ok to ask if you can bring a dog.

Your dog may not love it, your dog does not know its christmas. Book it into kennels

All dogs smell. Dog owners are nose blind.