DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

If OP had an actual baby and her dog - and her child needed to go to hospital, where dogs are not welcome - will OP really chose to stay with the dog and send baby to hospital on their own?

Or will she realise that ‘our pets are same as our children’ is something people say. But it’s not completely true.

Get a dog sitter I could never put my boy in kennels

OP, if you think this relationship is serious then you have to make a choice between your partner and the dog. If you care about your partner, you put him first (& the dog goes into kennels where, of course, he'll be fine - you are projecting your own feelings onto an animal).
You do have a choice here.

I wouldn’t go.

I would be massively cheesed off at him inviting me without checking with his parents about the dog. That, plus the facts that he's saying 'it's just one of those things' and isn't suggesting you two spend Christmas together tells you it's not serious for him, I guess.

But the ex was only mentioned in reference to her having "sole custody" of the dog after their breakup 😂There was absolutely no need to mention him or their past relationship at all.

What @GooseberryGreen said. Yanbu - he’s left you alone with DDog at Christmas due to his lazy non checking.

Had you known sooner, would you have made alternative arrangements for your dog eg pet sitter or would you still not have felt able to go to his parents due to not wanting to be away from dog?

If it's the latter then I don't think there is a lot dh can do so no-one is unreasonable... it's just one of those unfortunate situations.

If you would have sourced alternative care, and its now too late, then I would tell him how let down you feel

I bet it does smell - all dogs do! And his fur will be all over the place. From a dog lover!

People who have cream carpets must live in a gravity free house or love cleaning constantly. Also, people who reject animals from their houses, unless they have an allergy or phobia, should be avoided.

Oh that’s rubbish op. I’d be pissed off with your bf for sure. I’d just stay home with DL tbh, you’ll likely not get DL into a kennel, home boarding or anything else by now and/or it’ll cost a packet.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anyone with cream carpets, IMO, thinks a lot of more of their decor than they do of their guests.
MN is crawling with dog haters, OP, so I’m afraid you won’t get much sympathy here.

Well I got the family cat post divorce, but I'd never refer to that as 'custody' (there was no legal process for starters 🤣) except as a joke, because he IS a cat. Its not like we were going to be 'co-parenting' him or something.

I'd choose your lovely dog over a fussy DP and his parents. Cuddles, great food and good times.

Maybe their DCreamcarpets are like family to them

Invite was in October. Alternative would have been to go to my DB’s but he’s got a houseful as it stands and I don’t want to appear a CF by asking him. Luckily he loves DL so I’m sure if push came to shove he’d have us.

Fair enough if they're not dog people, especially as you have a big dog. I'd put him in a kennels.

ffs. If Op had a baby and a dog, she’d have a back up plan for the dog in place. We dog owners do. Xmas, however, doesn’t tend to qualify as an emergency with our back up support system.

Bit late to look for house sitter or home boarder (I’d never put my dog in kennels but especially not at Christmas). If he had asked earlier you could have investigated other options. Be expensive though.

The problem is that it wasn’t an invite because he couldn’t be bothered to check and now he’s left you in an awkward position

and he’s created a drama where there really didn’t need to be one as I assume if he had asked in October and you had received the no then you would have been fine with the situation.

he's a bit of a jerk really

Dog owners never think their dogs smell, presumably because they're "noseblind" to their dog's smell. I say that as a dog lover and owner.

I housesat for a friend with black Labrador once - adorable dog, but the shedding on their fawn carpet was something else! I think it's the double coat. My pointer sheds a lot, but nothing like that.

Indeed, and who are we to judge? I say this as someone who loves DSofa more than DChildren.

That sounds like a good option... definitely ask brother if you can join if you don't want to be alone

And between October and now you didn't text his parents to thank them?