DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

The OP has fooled us all. This thread is clearly a wind up. We all fell for it.

👏 👏 👏 Well done OP. Great story - you must be ROFLYAO.

You need to come back and shout:

GOTCHA 😊 👌 😊

Edited: typo

Unfortunately not everyone is a dog person, so she is within her rights, being her home to say no. Happy xmas

I love a bonkers dog thread 😁 whether it’s real or made up.
This one is almost as bonkers as the thread the other day where the OP was asked to take in her DSS’s dog that she didn’t want. A briliant PP coined the phrase ‘canine jesus’ that I just had to claim as my user name 😁
I’m fascinated by people’s obsession with dogs! And I say this as a dog person who’s been around dogs all my life.

It’s not unreasonable for them to say no to the dog, it’s unreasonable of your DP to leave you high and dry for Christmas plans this close to the day.

Your partner's parents have not uninvited your labrador.
The labrador wasn't invited in the first place.
Your partner's at fault for not mentioning bringing your dog, but his parents are certainly not being unreasonable to say no.
If you really can't bare to be parted from your dog for part of the day then you probably need to spend Christmas at home, just you and your labrador, but that's your decision to make.

I agree with @Momentarylapseofsanity, your partner has let you down by forgetting to ask his parents and then lying about it.

I too would politely decline their invitation and spend the day at home with my dog.

People who don’t have dogs don’t understand people whose arrangements revolve around dogs. No one is in the wrong, just different priorities.

Really @sesamecroissant why would you be uncomfortable?

Personally I'd much rather spend Xmas with my dog than other humans. Perhaps take it as a win.

The cynic in me would also point out that he has put you in a spot where you have to chose, Xmas with him and a sad dog in kennels, or Xmas without him but with your dog. For me it would be the dog every single time.

You can’t take a dog to a non-doggy house if non-doggy people.

Put the dog in kennels - before he knows it you’ll be picking him up again.

Whatever you do, don’t make a drama out of it. I bet he’s gorgeous but if you’re going to hand a dog you’ll always got to have a safety net of what to do with him if you can’t take him somewhere. Not everyone wants a dog in their house.

We used to look after a relatives dog when they went on holiday. Lovely cocker spaniel. The first two times he stank to high heaven when they left them and I wondered what on earth they were feeding him, or why he hadn't been groomed. But it turned out to be stress. He didn't want to be left - we had a dog of our own and he wasn't that used to him either.

We looked after several relatives' dogs over the years without a problem. This was the only one who responded like this. He was ok after a day or do.

But it just shows you that some dogs don't cope so well being left.

Our first dog took a partial stomach torsion when we left him with family once. Luckily he survived but anyway vet put that down to stress too.

I totally agree with you as a animal lover
As this is all your partners fault I would suggest that he should spend Christmas with you and your dog at home together

Im sure that his family will understand and appreciate your choice

Happy holidays to you all xx

Nails it. Great idea.

"Sole custody" of a dog lol. Must be a struggle being a single parent to a lab. luckily for you they have kennels you put him in, unlike an actual child.

It’s either stay at home with the dog, OR, put the dog in kennels, and go with your man. It’s a dog, not a human, they adapt!

Not all labradors drool and slobber. And they most certainly dont smell. Shed like crazy but should not smell.

This nails it. We don’t need paragraphs about smells, mn hating dogs and kennels. End of, to my mind.

YANBU thinking your DP should check with his parents before answering your question about the dog. YA-very much-U in expecting everybody should accept for you to bring a large-ish dog into a house, and probably for several days and nights. Find a nice dogsitter.

YANBU to be disappointed and upset. Your boyfriend fucked up, there's no two ways about it.

That said, IMO you sound a little unhinged about your dog, and I say that as someone who loves her dog and cat. The whole "D" lab thing is weird.

Your partner didn’t actually ask his parents if you could bring your Labrador so he’s to blame not his parents. They have a right to refuse, not everyone likes dogs. However, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been with your partner very long as you say you only split with your ex last year so the relationship with your current partner is fairly new. I’d make the best of the situation. Stay home with your dog. I have a Labrador. I wouldn’t dream of leaving him at Christmas, in kennels or with family, he’s an important member of my family albeit a dog. I take him pretty much everywhere with me when possible. Next year, if you’re still with the current partner, invite his parents to your house.

WHY do some people get sooooooo unhinged when it comes to dogs?! So odd

kennels are there for this purpose. To keep a dog safe and to allow you to do things. And not everyone likes dogs - that is allowed!

Quoting part of your reply :
"Finding somewhere near where I could stay would still have the same issues. DL alone whilst we are having dinner etc. just unfair on him and cruel, he’d still be alone in an unfamiliar place."
Are you saying you never-ever go anywhere without your dog? Day&nignt? Like lunch with a friend, your workplace, a hospital visite? But also your parner has to share every moment with your dog?

My Dh had a German Shepherd and put it in kennels when he went away for a weeks. When he came back his dog had died. He said he would never use kennels again.
I would enjoymy Christmas with my dog and sod everyone else.
Some people don't realise that people love thier pets and they are part of your family. Ive got a cat and we never go away because we don't know anyone to look after him and I would miss him too much.

Some harsh comments on here!
Firstly, I agree it’s DP’s fault for not checking with his parents, it’s a big ask to host a dog, so that’s on him.
Secondly, it’s a very new relationship really, and am I right in thinking you don’t live together?
I wouldn’t ask/expect to take my dog tbh, can’t you host Christmas or your DP if he lives close to you?
For the record I wouldn’t kennel my dog over Christmas either tho!
Can’t your partner have a shorter stay with his parents, maybe be with you for the morning and get to them for lunch and be back with you Boxing Day lunchtime?
Not ideal but you could have a day to yourself and do Xmas with DP on Boxing Day?
Have a DM (dog Mummy!) and DDS (dear dog son!) day?!