DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Mmmm!,Your dog was never in the equation. Im not a dog owner and I have light coloured carpets. Im sorry but I would not be happy to host a labrador. They are lovely natured dogs but I dont want one shedding, ponging and potentially peeing in my house. Just see your DP after Christmas . As he says. Its just one of these things!

Not shallow at all. It’s the choice of the OP to have a dog and to not want to leave that dog. I say this as a dog owner myself. I understand why OP is annoyed though, as it’s too short notice for them to make other arrangements.

This makes you sound stupid. Children are not dogs

As a non dog person. Dogs do smell I can always tell when someone owns a dog. There is a certain odour to them they don't wash regularly and there are outside of they smell. They are dogs and that is to be expected though.

I would never use kennels and always put my dogs with dog sitters when I go away- it's like a holiday for the dogs.

Labrador’s don’t drool and also they don’t smell, what’s wrong with you

Do you have any dog-loving family or good friends you could spend Christmas Day with? If so, you'd not be on your own
Male thoughtlessness is truly annoying and will often drop others into difficult situations which they accept "as the way' whilst they doodle merrily along
Whatever happens, hope it all works out!

It is. Down to the detail of it being a Labrador, a biggish and excitable breed of dog which no sane person would think should be brought to spend a day/ long weekend in someone else's home, especially if that someone else does not have dogs.

@sazzycorey

they do though, hun.
not compatible with lovely cream carpets

DP has completely messed this up by leaving it so late to ask his parents. Spend Christmas with your lovely DLab and don’t even consider kennels. Humans are overrated.

My Labrador smells lovely (to me) ☺️ <misses point of thread intentionally because it's the only point I can be bothered to make under the circumstances>

I feel your problem is with your partner, who should have not said yes before checking with his parents.

If this situation has just come to light now, then I would be
seriously considering dumping your lying partner, as this same situation is very likely to crop up again in the future.

Save yourself the drama now and in the future

Yeah dogs are much better.

If you have a dog that isn't used to kennels or if your unwilling to get a dog sitter than you'll have to come to terms that not everyone is dog people and not everywhere is dog friendly. I love dogs but wouldn't want someone else's dog in my house, especially if i have cream carpets. You can't just assume everyone wants your dog in their house. 🤷

As a dog owner and lover no I don't think you are unreasonable to be upset with your partner. He clearly should have asked his parents when you suggested rather than leaving it too late. Perhaps it would have given you chance to see if anyone could have cared for your dog in their home whilst you were away. Now you probably don't stand a chance although you could enquire maybe? At the same time not everyone loves dogs and I guess if his parents are house proud, cream carpets and no pets you can understand Perhaps why they'd not want the dog staying. Me personally I'd love any visitor bringing their dog but then we live on a farm and are animal mad. I think sadly your partner in future when visiting his parents needs to be better organised so you can go too.

I’d rather spend the day with the dog tbh .

Could you book into a local dog friendly hotel near his parents. Drive over to your DP parents home for the meal. Leaving the dog in the car in his cage with blankets and warmed pads for the hour or 90 minutes you eat. After meal invite everyone to walk the dog! Go back to your hotel with your DLab. Arrange walks for the next days.

It’s absolutely ridiculous to say all Labradors smell. Mine does shed but definitely doesn’t smell. And to say put the dog in kennels is thoughtless as some dogs react badly to being put in kennels. It doesn’t seem as though he actually asked which is telling when he knows you have sole custody of the dog.

So now is time for your dog to get used to going to kennels for a couple of nights.
We had a beautifully behaved dog all my childhood and wouldn’t’ve dreamt of carting them everywhere.

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. If I had a dog I’d rather not go than stick him in a kennel he would hate. Anyone who says otherwise is obviously not a dog lover.

I’m not a dog person but I don’t know why you are getting so slammed here for putting your dog first . Classic MN you can’t really do right for doing wrong.
I understand your DP parents but your DP has been so annoying here, it sounds like he’s not that bothered which would rile me more because he’s left it so late for you to sort something else.
Is there a chance they might change their mind once they hear you can’t come? I wouldn’t leave a friend of family member alone on Xmas Day because of a dog . Maybe there is a way round it.

For all the people saying kennels won’t harm - that’s hardly the point - it’s very late to try and get a dog boarded for Xmas at this point - and unlikely to find someone to dog sit. This is very unfair of your DP to have almost just shrugged when you actually asked and made clear that you needed to bring your dog and he hasn’t bothered to clarify in time, which has left you pretty shafted to be honest. I feel bad for you but have a nice time with your DL and also I have one and he doesn’t smell or shed much at all, and I am very house proud. I’d be considering ditching the man though I’m afraid, he doesn’t sound very apologetic.

Either you are completely unhinged or this is a joke 😂 hopefully the latter

Oh gosh these comments are not it. It’s their house, their rules but I would be incredibly uncomfortable around people who don’t welcome a dog in their house (unless there are health reasons or the dog is problematic). And your partner’s lying is not ok.

Were you going to stay overnight then? If it's just a day thing surely your DL can stay home alone, and you just ensure you walk him before you go/don't stay out too late.
However, I say that as a cat person....