DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

I have a small dog and I still don’t want another larger family dog in the house for Christmas! Your partner should have checked earlier which is a bit crappy but looks like the decision now is whether you spend Xmas in your own with your dog or your partner chooses to stay with you rather than his parents. His parents are perfectly entitled to say no.

Pay not attention to the vipers of MN @Hols25- I would fight tooth and nail to keep the dogs if we broke up, I don’t care if people think it’s ridiculous. My dogs might well stink, but they aren’t cruel, unpleasant and rude like a huge amount of people and I know what I prefer.

Why do people hate dogs so much!

I certainly wouldn’t put my dogs in kennels no matter what the situation !

no iseal, but I’d actually just take this as a lovely opportunity to have a solo Christmas. Nice food, some wine…a long walk in the countryside on the day, lots of films, read my book…! Sounds pretty good to me.

I don’t think either of you are unreasonable, and you can’t expect non dog people to want a dog in their house 🤷‍♀️

Why do you assume people who kennel their dogs “hate” them? So juvenile…
Haven’t you ever left the country on holiday or travelled for work?
I mean, if you never leave the house and can literally spend 24/7 with your dog, that probably works for you, but most people don’t live like that and wouldn’t want to anyway.

“Sole custody” seesh,its a dog not a child. Put the dog into kennels or not,and stay at home if being a dog lady instead of a cat lady is your thing

Where did I say people who kennel their dogs hate them?

You literally asked why people hated dogs so much, and declared you’d never put yours in kennels.
Perhaps you didn’t express yourself very well, if you actually meant something else?

after that message I’m inclined to agree!

Exactly. Not wanting dogs in your home is not 'hatred', although that poster did qualify that statement by acknowledging that she doesn't think either party is being unreasonable (neither do I).

But this silly, rhetorical, anthropomorphic insistance that people either 'love' dogs (in which case they treat them as humans and cart them absolutely everywhere) or they 'hate' them is over-emotional hyperbole.

Like most things, the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. Probably what some people interpret as 'hate' boils down to nothing more than indifference.

Sometimes MN dog threads can get really silly. When someone doesn't 'love' what you do it isn't a personal affront.

A paragraph tends to mean two separate points

If you got “full custody” then the courts must have decided he was not a fit doggy parent to have any responsibility for the dog presumably @Hols25 ?

Does your ex pay maintenance?

Hey hey it's "Ddog", let's be respectful 😂

While I agree her DP was wrong for not being straight, I also think the god issue is central to this. From her posts she has shown that she is I flexible when it comes to Dear Labrador and I wouldn't be surprised if DP knew this and was unable to tell her no because she doesn't seem to be able to separate herself from her Dear Dog.

So yes he was an idiot for saying yes when he hasn't asked his parents, but OP is ridiculously unreasonable to expect people she has only met once and doesn't know well to invite both her and her dog over for Christmas.

I love dogs but NO I wouldn't welcome any and everyone just bringing their dogs into my home. I have no idea how trained or not your dog is, and the way OP goes on and on about Dear Labrador I wouldn't be surprised that the dog is not properly trained and treated like a baby. What if they have cats or dogs if their own, why would you expect or assume every invitation must include your dog?

custody battle 🤣🤣🤣

A custody battle over a dog 😂😂

Good grief.

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't take the needs of a living creature into consideration. It's just as well to find out before it's too late I suppose.

Plan thr best Christmas for you and DL!
Party hats, turkey and presents to each other!
I'd rather do this anyway with me and my dogs solo than a human Christmas with the inlaws.

Arguing about who has the pets after a split is a real thing. I can totally believe this.

You sound nice ☺️☺️
people likely think the same when faced with your ‘stinky’ kids

Or when faced with their spiteful attitude @DogsandFlowers - that poster is very angry in general it would seem

Nice try.

As if I care what people think - especially dog fans. 🤣👍

Who said I was a dog fan?
very presumptuous.

Your stance on this thread
plus your username

fairly safe assumption.

Still no concrete evidence I’d say 😊